TV Interview- Prophetic Art

Please check out this recent TV interview concerning prophetic art and the shift God is making concerning art in ministry. I pray that it is a blessing to you.

Part 1

Part 2

When Territory Expands

1 Peter 5:10 (NKJV): “But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.”

As God continues to expand my territory  I invite you to come join me at www.rhemawordphotos.com/blog . This blog is directly connected to and inspired by the Spirit of God even as He relates to the marketplace. Also visit Rhema Word Photography, LLC  for Christian prophetic art.

God has done a marvelous thing.

Praise the Lord with me saints! 

Nachae’ 

A New Jubilee Unto Him

Luke 4: 18-19 (KJV): “¹⁸ The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,¹⁹ To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.”

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who has reached out to me concerning my well-being since I haven’t posted anything on the blog recently. This summer has been an interesting one for me as I have been placed in situations that have allowed me to know God intimately, like never before. Knowing Him as a Provider and Healer (just to name a couple) has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. During this season I have been working to be more obedient to the Lord and with that being said, I am now in the process of writing a book. The school year is also approaching so my schedule will become busier but even in the midst of that, I still have to remain focused and humble in what it is that God means for me to do. If anyone has any questions or concerns feel free to email at theepottershand@hotmail.com. I am uncertain as to how long I will be away from writing here but still feel free to visit and read the articles already online. Please keep me in prayer as I continue on this journey with the Lord. The book will be available soon as the Lord leads. God Bless you all!

Chae’

Religion Killed Jesus

One day when I was about 13 or 14 my mom looked at me and said, “Never discuss politics or religion.” I assumed that she made this statement because they can be very heated topics so I shrugged my shoulders and went on about my business. I didn’t have much to say about either topic so that was an easy request to fulfill, until now.

What is religion?

After being saved I began to wonder what religion was. Was religion different from Christianity? Apparently it was as I kept hearing others mention how disturbing and unrighteous religion is. It was then that I began to ask God to show me religion and furthermore, show me if there are any religious aspects in my life. I don’t want to know religion. I want to know Jesus.

Micah 6:6-8 (NIV):” ⁶ With what shall I come before the LORD and bow down before the exalted God? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? ⁷ Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of olive oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? ⁸ He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Religion is very much explained in Colossians 2:23(NIV): “Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.” Religion is idolatry as it ultimately tries to edify man. Christianity, on the other hand, was never meant to be a religion. Christianity is the spiritual relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I had an interesting conversation with a young man yesterday. He mentioned how he believed in spirituality, didn’t believe in religion, but was still uncertain about his stance on Christianity. In the midst of our conversation he asked me what exactly spirituality means to me and if it has anything to do with Christianity. I started off by stating that we are a spirit with a body, not a body with a spirit. The young man continued to tell me about a school he once attended as a child. He mentioned how he was confused by the teaching there and how he was instructed to say, “Praise Jesus,” after every statement, literally. It isn’t funny but it is very crazy to me. I will admit that I laughed, only because I saw how religious that was. The young man described the school as being hypocritical while adding Jesus’ name on the end of everything to try to justify the dirt they were doing. The young man then began to question if religion is something new to our generation and I reminded him that nothing is new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9) and that even Jesus pointed out religion during His time on earth.

The Pharisees and the Sadducees were religious! They claimed to be holy and they claimed to be anointed but they plotted the destruction of our Messiah. Why? Because they were religious. In Mark 3 it states how they believed that Jesus was possessed by Beelzebub and that being the reason why Jesus had the power to drive out demons. Some of them were wealthy, some of them were educated, and some of them held festivals but guess what Scripture says? Amos 5:21-24 (NIV): ” ²¹ “I hate, I despise your religious festivals; your assemblies are a stench to me. ²² Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. ²³ Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. ²⁴ But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!” 

There was a female who asked me a week or two ago if I was a Christian. After answering yes, we had about an hour-long discussion about Christianity. The young lady mentioned how much she didn’t trust Christianity but when I asked her why, she could only give me examples of religion. She mentioned how she and her family went to church with the focus of being the best looking family. She mentioned people exercising spiritual gifts in a questionable manner and proud hypocrites crowding the pews. 1 John 4:1-3 (KJV): “¹Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.²Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God: ³And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.” After hearing all of this I could only reassure this young lady that what she hated was religion since she hadn’t yet experienced Christianity. It was sad to see that her perception of Christianity had been skewed by religion but I did have hope in knowing that she hadn’t rejected the true Gospel simply because she hadn’t yet heard the true Gospel.

Acts 17:22 (NIV): “Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: “Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious.” Religion is relevant is our generation, it was relevant in the generation before us and will be even more so in the generations to come. As the body of Christ, we need to work to abolish religion so that the fruit of the Spirit may drench every corner of the earth. Deuteronomy 12:31(NIV): “You must not worship the Lord your God in their way, because in worshipping their gods, they do all kinds of destestable things the Lord hates. They even burn their sons and daughters in the fire as sacrifices to their gods.” Get out of self. Find fellowship with true followers of Christ and avoid individuals who desperately want to gain religious titles. It is easy to identify religion as it claims a lot but fails to produces fruits of the Spirit. Test the spirit by the Spirit.

Hate religion as much as God does. When we see religion we need to run the other way into the arms of our Groom. We cannot exchange an intimate relationship with Christ with legalism. The idea of religion is new to me but it didn’t take long for me to realize the poison it produces. Religion can detour the lost, sway the desperate, and corrupt the innocent. We should become so consumed with a personal relationship with Christ that there won’t be any room for religion in our lives. If you recognize religion in your walk simply ask God to remove it. We need to come to God with our hearts, not with our checks. Isaiah 29:13 (NIV): “The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.” You know if you are living righteously or not. Be honest with yourself because being religious does nothing but anger God. Religion is man-made, just like denominations as stated in my article One in Christ . When religion says that you can work your way into Heaven, Ephesians 2:8-9 (KJV) states, “⁸For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: ⁹Not of works, lest any man should boast.” Jesus hated religion and religious leaders hated Jesus. See the issue? Abolish religion.

James 1:27 (NIV): “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

I Am Not A Thief

Ephesians 4:28 (KJV): “²⁸ Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.”

This is another article inspired by God showing me something about myself, as usual. Growing up I was never really interested in materials but there was always something that I felt like I HAD to have. It was typically something related to technology. If I wanted it, I told my dad and chances were, he got it for me. I never understood how someone could steal. While I had my share of sin, I always felt too scary to steal something. I felt like I was in trouble even if I thought about it. I always imagined that if I had stolen something, that I would give it back, immediately. For example, I went shopping once and a worker forgot to take the censor off one of my items. As I went to leave the store the alarm began going off. My eyes got wide and all I kept saying was,”I didn’t steal anything!” Of course the worker came and explained how she had forgotten to take it off and all was well. Just the thought made me afraid. I always thought, “Man, someone must be really tough if they can steal.” One day a few months ago I was thinking of all that God had delivered me from, giving Him thanks. I found myself praying against all stealing spirits and I thought, “Wait…what!?? I’ve never stolen anything!”

John 10:10 (KJV): “¹⁰ The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

I sat there, trying to figure out what would make me pray against that. I pray against anything that God puts on my heart but this prayer was almost like a confessing prayer. I thought really hard. I wasn’t a thief. Was I? God quickly brought to my mind the many songs that I had in my iTunes. I had over 3,000 songs a year ago and guess what!? I had gotten all of them illegally. It felt awkward to think that while it seemed like no big deal then, I was indeed a thief and my music library was proof. I then felt like I was in a dilemma because half of me wanted to delete the music but that would mean that I would have to restart my music library. I tried to pretend like it didn’t matter but I felt convicted, each time I pushed play. At that time I had only been listening to gospel music, which made me feel worse. I was listening to illegal worship. I made up my mind. I decided to erase everything in my library and if I were to listen or download music that I would either listen on Youtube or download them from iTunes.

Proverbs 10:2 (KJV): “² Treasures of wickedness profit nothing: but righteousness delivereth from death.”

After I had gotten rid of all of my illegal songs I found myself asking God again, “God am I a thief?” What He showed me was and is very important. I had/have sometimes a bad habit of annoying others the way that they annoy me. I never think about intentionally giving someone a taste of their own medicine but I guess I subconsciously find myself doing or tempted to do that. How does this relate to being a thief? Because if someone stole my joy I would steal theirs. When Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy, it isn’t always with materials. The devil can also steal joy, happiness, prosperity etc. When I found myself operating in the flesh and directly or indirectly causing people to feel the way I felt, I was a thief. Even if my joy had been stolen, that is never a reason to steal from others. Misery loves company? So aside from the illegal music, I had a history of stealing the joy from others. If someone ruined my day; theirs was going to be ruined too. I guess in my mind that would show them how it feels? Or to never upset me again? Regardless of my foolish thinking, I was operating the way Satan does. It doesn’t matter what he steals, just know that he comes to steal all things. So while I may have never stolen anything from a “store” I had indeed been a thief and it took me to surrender to God, to be humble enough to hear from Him, to see Scriptural evidence, and to gain His perspective to see myself clearly. I promise, God never fails to show us what we need to know. It is important that we ask Him to show us, so that we can turn from our wicked ways. Stealing anything is wicked and the works of Satan.

Exodus 20:15 (KJV): “¹⁵ Thou shalt not steal.”

Uncomfortable For Christ

2 Corinthians 3:5 (KJV): “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God.”

While studying abroad I took a Biomedical Ethics course and I absolutely loved it! I was able to concentrate on medicine and philosophical ethics at the very same time. During the course we focused a lot on the physician/patient relationship and a very important aspect was the competency of the doctor. Even after medical school physicians have the duty to remain abreast on latest epidemics, resources, treatment etc. so that they may be able to provide the best care for their patients. I often think about the position I was in when the Lord began to draw me nigh and I remind myself that I need to have a growing passion and zeal for the Lord each day that I serve Him.

2 Peter 3:18 (KJV): “¹⁸ But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.”

I don’t know any Christians who consciously agree to become slack in their walk with the Lord. However, I believe that we all have been guilty of at some point saying, “Oh, I’ll read the Bible later,” “I’ve prayed about that a long time ago,” or, “I already know that.” While we may have prayed about something many weeks, months, years ago; that doesn’t mean the Father doesn’t want us to remain fervent in prayer about it. When we first receive salvation we are usually in bad condition and we yearn for God to give us peace, to give us a breakthrough but once some of our strongholds are broken reading the Bible can “Come later.” There is always  something to be aware of as a vessel for the Lord. Especially in the last days we are always to be aware of the seducing spirits and the anti-Christ, which are trying to exalt itself against the knowledge of Christ. How can we be His soldiers if we don’t know the tactics and resources of the enemy? How can we remain competent and effective for the Father if we are still holding onto yesterday’s prayers and this morning’s Bible reading? We have busy schedules, sure we do but as soon as we put life before God, we become ineffective. God isn’t overbearing and He allows us to take care of business as long as we have everything in its proper place. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18  (KJV): “¹⁶ Rejoice evermore.¹⁷ Pray without ceasing.¹⁸ In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

As humans we want to be comfortable. We love to be comfortable actually,which I know to be true for myself firsthand. I hate discomfort but I have learned from the 20 years that I have been alive that I have always performed best when I was uncomfortable. Moving to new locations and attending new schools usually produced some of the best aspects of my life. However, I also noticed that when I had done particularly well in a semester, the semester following became a “comfortable semester” and my grades showed. To anyone who watches the pattern of my grades will see that in the beginning I’m excited and do well then comfort sets in so I become LAZY, then I become anxious to do well again, then grades improve and the cycle continues. For many years I couldn’t understand why I would operate that way but I now understand that it is simply because I am human. Whether it be in the realm of academia or relationships, comfort is bad business. When entering a relationship individuals go the extra mile to woo the other individual but the moment they feel as if they are “accomplished” their comfort kicks in. This is when many individuals become upset with their spouses because they feel like they are no longer with the person that they married. Women sometimes marry a man who they believe will always send them flowers when appropriate and who will spend hours looking for the most extravagant restaurant to dine at. Men sometimes marry women believing that their wives will work effortlessly to surprise them with their favorite dish and who will spend hours in stores finding cute things to add to their well furnished homes. Certainly many things come with marriage and not all things will remain the same but I am simply mentioning how comfort and ultimately laziness can cause someone to quickly become disgusted. This goes way beyond spending money and eating but even concerning the small things, like saying I love you?

1 Peter 1:25 (KJV): “But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.”

If a couple can become exasperated because of comfort how do you think God feels? When we tell Him we no longer have to bind and rebuke that demon because we are “Through with that?” The Bible tells us that Satan comes to tempt in seasons and while Christ has delivered many of us from many forms of bondage we should never stop praising Him nor should we believe that we are invincible. The moment we think we are humble it is then that we have lost it. We should be confident and rest assured in His deliverance but we also should never be comfortable and let down our guard. We should never be so holy that we cannot take constructive criticism or be open to hear a word from a brother or sister in the Lord. Scripture makes it clear that the journey with Christ requires us to be competent each day, each hour, each minute, each second.We need to grow in His glory daily and the only way we can do that is if we constantly thirst for His living water.

Luke 9:23 (KJV): “²³ And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”

Whenever I read a verse and I see something that mentions daily or every I try to make a mental note of it. When I received salvation I wasn’t sure how often I should pray a certain prayer or enter His gates with praise. How often should I thank Him for deliverance? How often do I need to read the Word? When someone asks me a question? How often should I pray and talk to the Lord? Every chance I get.

Lamentations 3:22-23 (KJV): “²² It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.²³ They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”

We are called to be the salt of the Earth but if our salt loses its savour, what can we preserve? Satan is always lurking and sin is always knocking at our doors. How can we stand it without constantly renewing our minds? The life of a Christian is dangerous because if it weren’t then we wouldn’t need the Father and His protection. How can we be vessels if we leave our crosses at home? God tells us to pick up our cross daily; it is no good in our attic. We are to be living testimonies. The Lord’s work in and through us doesn’t stop when we get saved, it is simply that it then becomes alive. I can tell all of you about the story of my salvation but I too have stories up to this day about the mighty works of God. The Father is always prompt and ready to do work. God always knows about our current situation and He is always a step ahead of us, why are we still trying to identify with yesterday? The same way we find refuge in the Lord’s competency, we too need to offer Him our lives as a living sacrifice so that we may be competent and faithful in Him. Not that we can do that on our own, as we already agreed that we are naturally lazy individuals. Too much danger to be comfortable. Too much work to be done to be comfortable. Too much praise to give to be comfortable. Too big of a God to serve to be comfortable. While I tend to lean toward comfort by nature, I am willing to be uncomfortable for Christ. God takes us from glory to glory but while that journey takes place we must earnestly pray that our competency in Christ doesn’t get lost in translation.

Romans 12:2 (KJV): “² And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Father, we thank You for our salvation. We come to You asking that You may keep us on our toes, always finding ways to better please You. We are naturally lazy beings, not wanting to remain uncomfortable. However, our walk with You is important and we are willing to be uncomfortable so that we can produce Your fruit. Salt without savour is good for nothing other than to be trampled underfoot. You have been too good to us and You never deserve lukewarm vessels. You were never lukewarm to us. When we need You, You’re there. When we call, You answer. Lord, please help us stop sending You to voicemail because we think we know “the message You’ll leave.” Please allow us to pray against all sins and all wickedness in high places because while You are constantly delivering us, Satan and his angels are always trying to find ways to bind us again. When one demon is gone another is waiting to be addressed. When one battle is won another is waiting to be fought. We are Your soldiers Lord, please train us to keep our boots on and our guns aimed while in war; even after a win. There is no place for feelings in the Kingdom and “feeling” strong in the Lord and “feeling” like we are past that point are not attitudes we should have. We should always look for ways to better go toward the mark for the prize of God that we have been called to in Christ Jesus. Amen.

Matthew 5:13 (KJV): “¹³ Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.”

Spirit of Rejection, Leave Me Be

To be honest, I don’t even know how to begin this article because there is so much information I want to share but I am having such a difficult time. Thus far, this is the most emotional article I have written. As I sit here with tears in my eyes I will write everything the Lord gives me to write. Although this seems to be more difficult with each word, I must fight to be free from the spirit of rejection. I encourage everyone to look at the videos in this post.

Romans 5:8 (KJV): “⁸ But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

The interesting thing about rejection is that this is the one thing that everyone has experienced, even if they have “never” been rejected on Earth. God gave me the mind to understand that everyone experiences rejection by God before our rebirth. Psalm 51:5 (KJV): ” ⁵Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.” Before we receive salvation our father is Satan, simply because he is who we naturally yield our members to. John 8:44 (KJV): “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” I believe that we all are born with what I call a “flicker of light,” which makes us want to know God and be received by Him. Keep in mind that we are all made in the Father’s image and though that image is damaged by the world of sin, He gives each of us the opportunity to be rekindled. This makes sense considering that we all know that not only does the Word clearly emphasize that love is the greatest of them all (1 Corinthians 13:13), but even the world openly pursues love and acceptance. What truly runs everything? love.

Psalm 5:4-6 (KJV): “⁴For thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee.⁵The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.⁶Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing: the LORD will abhor the bloody and deceitful man.”

From the moment we enter this world we begin our search for love and acceptance. Mind you we already have a deep mission to be accepted by the Heavenly Father but naive and clueless, we seek natural avenues to fulfill spiritual voids. This search creates opportunity for the love of lust, the love of money, the love of flesh. People, myself included, can, have, and will spend many years and a lot of money trying to find what will make their life complete. You know the quote, “Money cannot buy happiness?” It is true because while many think finances will fill our missing void, they soon find that one cannot please lust. You cannot satisfy Satan. Not only does seeking things of the flesh make a foolish individual hopeful that they will become complete, but they begin to believe that their sin loves them back. This is where addictions and idolatry begins because as long as Satan can keep you in bondage, his sin will always be there waiting for you. If an individual you expect to always be there for you isn’t, marijuana, fornication, masturbation,porn, alcohol etc. always seems to enter the front of your mind saying, “Hey, I am here for you. I know they let you down but I’ll always accept you. I know your flesh loves me and I really hate you but I’ll make you believe that I love you.” Our minds become easily tricked because whether we admit it or not, we desperately want to be loved, accepted, and cherished. The whole adventure of life is finding our missing Piece. Once some of us become aware of God we can either go with Him or we can go against Him, rejecting Him from our own hurt. Atheists believe in God and they know He exists but from whatever hurt and turmoil that they’ve experienced, they reject His truth. Even Satan knows God for who He is, why wouldn’t a human? A human doesn’t know anything that God or Satan, angels or demons don’t know. They all knew the Truth before we existed. God is a gentle God and won’t force Himself on anyone but when He takes time to draw you nigh (John 6:44) and you accept, it is then that you can realize that He is who you’ve been missing the entire time. The best part of the journey is that while you may look for a man or woman to love you like you love them, a pet who loves you unquestionably, or merchandise that will keep you in good spirit, God will show you that along this journey He is protecting you, He is loving you, and He has been waiting for you, unconditionally.

Proverbs 8:17 (KJV): “¹⁷ I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.”

John 3:16 (KJV): “¹⁶ For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Rejection is a tough one, as many of us know. I remember for many years knowing that I had an issue but never knowing what the issue was, the root of the issue. I only knew that I was becoming crazier by the minute looking for it. There had been nothing in this world that I wanted and didn’t have yet my heart ached as if someone was slowly pulling it out of my chest. The week before I had gotten saved I sat and thought about how I had become exhausted by every avenue you could thing of. I had tried just about everything you could think of to fill my void. I had collected so many sins, so many bad habits, so many enemies, so many friends who were secretly enemies, so much confusion, so much demonic oppression.. just because I was looking for love in all of the wrong places. You know that love is powerful when even the world goes crazy looking for it. The only twist is that the “world” collectively knows more than what we know individually and for that very reason, it has roller coasters that keep us from His correct path. False religions, extreme behaviors, and materialism keep us bound and chasing a lie. It is like taking a stick with meat and tying it to the back of a dog, just so that it dangles enough for the dog to see it. The dog will run and run and run for that piece of meat only to find that they’ve hit a tree and fallen in a ditch and that they STILL will not receive that meat, even though they have become more desperate by the minute.

Romans 8:37-39 (KJV): “³⁷ Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.³⁸ For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,³⁹ Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

As I write this to everyone reading this, I first write it to myself. To be set free from the spirit of rejection we must…we must come to God. The only one who can fulfill our deepest desires is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. It may not be easy and it may not happen overnight but we have to start somewhere. You will go absolutely crazy if you look to anyone other than God to do a job that only He is equipped to do. It is our human nature to look to friends, family, our spouses to save us from our pain but we will forever become upset and crippled to find out that we are looking for something unconditional in conditional beings. You can begin doing the world, trying to survive off of instant happiness only to find out that the world is doing you and that the joy of life is being sucked out of you by spiritual leeches. Rejection hurts, it is true but if it weren’t in us, we would never come to know God. While rejection is the one thing that every individual can attest to, it is also the very thing that will always make God relevant in our lives. If you think we look to man now…if we could find unconditional love and acceptance in this world, we would kiss God goodbye and become married to the god of this world almost immediately. God is so caring that He gave each of us a drive to know Him and when the Holy Spirit draws us nigh, He awakens that drive. Again, we either reject Him or accept Him. God gives us an ultimate relief because while we have no answer, He is the answer. He puts us out of our misery, regardless of how long we endured. This is also why we cannot effectively recognize love and give it without knowing Him. Our deepest dwellings begin to come alive and spill over when we meet our Source. When I had gotten saved I said to God, “God, love might be real, I am not sure but I am certain that it isn’t for me. If it is real, then why can’t I identify it? Why does everyone have it but me? I have everything and everyone I want but the void remains. I have looked everywhere for this love and though I thought my parents could offer it, even they fall short. Lord, I thought no one loved me more than myself and even my selfish love doesn’t suffice. No one loves self more than self. Love cannot be real so I give up.” He responded, “That’s because you looked everywhere but to Me.”

1 John 4:9-12 (KJV): “⁹ In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. ¹⁰ Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.¹¹ Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.¹² No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.”

Father, we come to You today simply thanking You for who You are. We do not deserve all that You have bestowed upon us. Justice says that we should die but Your mercy and grace gives us Life. Some of us know about our struggle with the spirit of rejection and some of don’t. Right now we bind all spirits of rejection, all spirits of self-rejection, and all spirits of the fear of rejection. Father, we ask that You continue to guide us to the Source of our yearning. Please keep us from pursing avenues that aren’t You. You are the Key to everything about us. Many of us are broken and crippled but we ask for Your love that surpasses all understanding. We believe that You fix hearts and we ask that You fix ours. When we put our trust and hope in man and merchandise, Holy Spirit please convict us and change our ways. Whether individuals admit their yearning to know You or not, we ask that You reveal how mighty You are. Some may feel embarrassed to admit that the deepest part of their being wants love and acceptance. Please wake Your people up and show them that while seeking for love can make one do the craziest things,love can also cause someone to do the most virtuous things. You are love and we accept You as our everything and you..spirit of rejection…leave us be. Amen.

Proverbs 3:3 (KJV): “³ Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart.“

Hem of His Garment

Proverbs 4:20-22 (KJV): “²⁰ My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.²¹ Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.²² For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.”

Adversity with health is different from adversity with anything else. Health is directly connected with life and as humans, it is only a natural instinct to fear death. Anything that even makes us think that we could be approaching death either slowly or quickly, can be mind-boggling. For most of my life I have been a hypochondriac and after coming to know the Lord, my prayer has been that He take all fear from me. I no longer wanted to be crippled by merely the thought of being sick. It didn’t take me long to realize that worrying about my health was an avenue used by Satan to keep me bound. As soon as I even thought something was wrong with me, I went into panic mode acting on feelings and quickly dropping my faith. Of course this is unacceptable so my prayer became that He would purge this from me and guess what? Here I am writing this article.

Exodus 15:26 (KJV): “²⁶ And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the Lord that healeth thee.”

As mentioned in Faithful Is He, after about a week in America I was diagnosed with an illness that I am slowly but surely recovering from. For those who know me personally, I am sure you know that I had a bit of a moment in the hospital where I had to gather myself and decide if I would allow my emotions to get the best of me OR if I would hold on to the fact that I serve a mighty God who says that He knows the plans He has for me. No one truly understands what it means to be sick until they are actually sick. This makes so much sense to me because while doctors are expecting full and a speedy recovery, my current circumstances require for me to do more than just imagine; they require for me to deal realistically. To help me understand it God has to help bring me through it.

Exodus 23:25 (KJV): “²⁵ And ye shall serve the Lord your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee.”

I don’t really want to discuss death too much in this article because I want to save that topic for an article in the future but I do want to talk about how sickness can be spiritually and naturally inspired. We certainly shouldn’t give Satan too much credit, always blaming him for everything that goes wrong. While Satan does his job to the best of his ability, he has no authority over that of God’s and if God sees fit, He will bring it to pass.

John 4:47-52 (KJV): “⁴⁷ When he heard that Jesus was come out of Judaea into Galilee, he went unto him, and besought him that he would come down, and heal his son: for he was at the point of death.⁴⁸ Then said Jesus unto him, Except ye see signs and wonders, ye will not believe.⁴⁹ The nobleman saith unto him, Sir, come down ere my child die.⁵⁰ Jesus saith unto him, Go thy way; thy son liveth. And the man believed the word that Jesus had spoken unto him, and he went his way.⁵¹ And as he was now going down, his servants met him, and told him, saying, Thy son liveth.⁵² Then enquired he of them the hour when he began to amend. And they said unto him, Yesterday at the seventh hour the fever left him.”

We often associate unclean spirits coming in subjection unto the authority of the Father but I find it amazing that the flesh has to obey as well. Illness can be natural, no doubt about that. Natural sicknesses may require natural remedies but it definitely still needs the Lord’s divine intervention. We typically look for physicians to figure out problems with our bodies then we expect them to fix it but when every type of medication and/or treatment is unable to get things back in order, we tend to feel discouraged. We sometimes put too much into man and because of that we feel hopeless when the knowledge doctors gained in medical school runs dry. Hold tight to the fact that everything must come into subjection unto Him. As shared in another article, after being in the hospital I talked with a doctor and they had prescribed me medicine for nausea but since I hadn’t experienced any nausea and didn’t want to waste money, I did not fill the prescription. Of course it is the doctor’s duty to cover all bases and with nausea being a symptom, he wanted to offer me treatment for it. However, I wasn’t too worried since I hadn’t had any trouble with it up to that point. Then I went home and went to sleep but not for long. Maybe 2 or 3 in the morning I was awakened by the most painful and urgent feeling of nausea that I have ever experienced in my life. I said to myself, “Now you can cry and you can become angry or you can call on the name of Jesus and have faith that He will answer your call.” I decided that I would take that as an opportunity to exercise my faith so I closed my eyes and said, “Whether this illness be natural or spiritual, I demand you to come into submission unto the name of Jesus. I don’t know where you came from but I am telling you to leave. I have no power of my own but I am demanding you to bow down in the name of Jesus because I will have peace. My Savior died so that I may have peace,” and when I opened my eyes again it was later in the day and I had no discomfort whatsoever.

Luke 13: 11-13 (KJV): “¹¹ And, behold, there was a woman which had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no wise lift up herself.¹² And when Jesus saw her, he called her to him, and said unto her, Woman, thou art loosed from thine infirmity.¹³ And he laid his hands on her: and immediately she was made straight, and glorified God.”

The passage above gives us a clear indication that the woman had an infirmity that was spiritually inspired. The passage does not specify which type of infirmity but knowing that there is a such thing as a spirit of infirmity is enough for me to know a spirit of infirmity is worth praying against. When we think of deliverance we often think of deliverance from sexual immorality, drugs, idolatry etc. but apparently Christ can deliver us from illnesses as well. Certainly every illness isn’t spiritually driven but that is a base that should be covered because we would be surprised about things that don’t have to be.

John 9:1-3 (KJV): “And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.² And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?³ Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.“

When someone becomes sick it is often that they question what they did wrong and how they can make it better. Being ill is typically viewed as being punishment, something that only falls upon the wicked and unrighteous. However, this passage above in John illustrates that sometimes what we view as being unfortunate can fall upon someone just so that God can manifest His mighty works in the situation. We can become so consumed with trying to blame someone or throwing a pity party for ourselves that we miss when God could very well be using us to show others (and ourselves) just how much of a loving, powerful, and righteous God He is.We always need to have a healthy perspective so we must pray and ask for His perspective. Psalm 119:71 (KJV): “⁷¹ It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.” Sometimes being sick or afflicted in any way can keep us humble, desperately seeking the Lord, and looking to Him for all things. In simple terms, the Lord can put us on our backs just so that we can look up to Him. Even if Satan afflicts a saint, it is still while the Lord’s will be done.

Psalm 30:2 (KJV): “² O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.”

It is no secret that in everything we do, we must have faith. Health issues will try our faith, especially if we become desperate for “wholeness” and we begin to believe that God has lost His efficiency. It can be a battle if you truly want to believe the report of God but the report of the doctor appears to be more promising but sides with the report of Satan. Living in a natural world we tend to look for natural and instant gratifying answers, especially when it comes to self. God has given us doctors on Earth but He is the top physician, He is our Healer. Setting an appointment with a doctor, getting blood work done, and have annual examinations may seem like exercising every possible avenue known in the medical world but when we get down at the feet of our Father and cry out to Him from the bottom of His throne, that’s when things begin to change. I am not taking away the skill of doctors, I actually admire it, but we must never forget that they only know what they know because of what God shared and that man will forever have limits. Walking in shattered faith will set one up for doom from the very beginning.

Mark 6:5-6 (KJV): “⁵ And he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands upon a few sick folk, and healed them.⁶ And he marvelled because of their unbelief. And he went round about the villages, teaching.”

Though Christ wanted to perform miracles and heal the sick (both physically and spiritually), He could only do but so much because of those who did not believe! We would be surprised to know how many blessings haven’t been released simply because we didn’t believe. God could be ready to give to us but when we reject the power thereof, we could remain without and as a result we can become angry and frustrated at Him. Matthew 15:28 (KJV): “²⁸ Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.” Having faith in God and His mighty works is enough to even have someone else healed! The unyielding faith of this woman was sufficient enough that Jesus healed her daughter within the same hour. As the Body of Christ we need to make sure that we are playing our part in prayerfully assisting those who are afflicted. Our faith and our prayers extend way beyond ourselves and our family.

Psalm 41:3 (KJV): “³ The Lord will strengthen him upon the bed of languishing: thou wilt make all his bed in his sickness.”

I am not saying that every affliction or health issue can be quenched by our doing. However, I am saying that we must stand strong believing the promises of God while also asking Him to guide our next move. We cannot run from death or disease because it will happen, it is life. One of the only things promised in life is death and for that very reason, we ought to have His perspective on it. But once knowing and accepting all of this we too must be aware and available to pray for ourselves and intercede for others in their time of need. Even if their situation is natural and taking place according to the plans of God, we can at the very least pray for peace. Pray for endurance. Pray for faith. I personally don’t know how someone can go through disparities without knowing God. Health issues can come accompanied with financial stress, infidelity in the home, unrighteous coping mechanisms etc. Life can be challenging for a believer, one with actual power and authority in the name of Jesus, so it is clear that a sinner doesn’t truly have any type of hope.

The last time I was in the hospital the doctor instructed that I receive an ultrasound. Originally I was fine, watching baseball without a worry in the world. But as soon as I saw the sonographer come in to get me, I panicked automatically. During the ultrasound I was tense, as I am sure anyone would have been able to notice. As an attempt to relax me the sonographer began to ask me what I wanted to be when I “grow up.” My only response was, “Okay, this may sound cliché but it is true. I don’t know what I want to do. I am still waiting for God to tell me.” The woman laughed and I said, “Wait, no really. I won’t know until He tells me. I am waiting for His leading.” I had no idea what was funny until this woman walked away from me to grab her Bible study book. In summary, my ultrasound took about 20 minutes longer than usual because we were in the room talking about the goodness of the Lord. Then as the sonographer began to take me out of the room I said, “Will you be honest with me? Does everything look okay?” The woman responded, “Everything looks fine to me but the doctor will take a look as well.” I am sure my face let the woman know that I was still very concerned. She looked at me again and said, “Everything will be fine but even if things appeared to be bad, you have to trust and have faith in God. You have to believe that He will take care of you and that nothing will happen to you that He hasn’t allowed.” I leaned back in the hospital bed and I closed my eyes, asking God to help me believe. Asking God to help me believe Him.

Isaiah 53:4-5 (KJV): “⁴ Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.⁵ But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.”

Faithful Is He

Ephesians 6:16 (KJV): “¹⁶ Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.”

For those that read Wilderness Anyone? it was clear that I was nervous, anxious, and a bit fearful about entering the biggest wilderness experience of my life thus far. I can honestly say that a lot of healthy progression took place while I was abroad. The Lord has and is doing a mighty work and though I was hesitant, I thank Him for doing for me what I didn’t have the heart or mind to do for myself.

Acts 15:8-9 (KJV): “⁸And God, which knoweth the hearts, bare them witness, giving them the Holy Ghost, even as he did unto us; ⁹ And put no difference between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith.”

On May 19th, 2012 I flew back to America and on the flight leaving Copenhagen I found myself shedding as many tears as I had when I left America. The important thing is that crying on the plane leaving America in January was only a reflection of me not wanting to do what I knew I was supposed to do. However, the tears on the flight back to America were purely tears that encourages faith. I was crying because as I sat there and thought on how great God is to me, to us, I then realized that I had little faith.

2 Corinthians 4:13-14 (KJV): “¹³ We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak;¹⁴ Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.”

I always said that I would hate for Jesus to say, “Oh you of little faith,” to me. From the first time I read verses about faith I agreed that I would try to have lots of faith so I would never have to hear Him say that, at least to me. Within the past 4 months I have learned that we can sometimes have more faith in and for others than we have for ourselves or in Christ. It almost seems natural to preach it and receive it in your minds than it is to live it and believe it in your hearts, especially when faced with adversity. While riding on a plane that cut through the clouds faster than my eyes could capture I began to understand that doing work for the Kingdom and my walk with Christ as a whole is absolutely nothing without faith. We become void vessels when we do not have faith because all of Christ’s works and miracles were done based on the faith He has in the Father. Matthew 8:26 (KJV): “²⁶ And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.” I can know and understand the Bible but if I am without faith, that is a series of red flags. If I am going to continue this journey with my Groom, I must believe, obey, and love. I must have faith.

Hebrews 11:6 (KJV): “⁶ But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

Many of us make promises but less of us remember that God is the only Promise Keeper. Before going to Europe God didn’t make many promises to me personally but He did tell me to hold on to the promises in His Word, which assured me that in summary, He would take care of me. He never specifically told me what He was going to do but He did tell me to trust and to believe. My wilderness experience (which may not necessarily be over but in a different location) has been an interesting one with many, many trials and tribulations,which was expected. I won’t list them all here because we have to be careful of how we witness about the tests that God brings us through because it can quickly turn into complaining but know that whatever it is that you and I go through, He has control.

James 2:14 (KJV): “¹⁴ What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?”

A couple of days after being in America I was diagnosed with a sickness that we are believing will pass sooner than later. I talked with a doctor and they had prescribed me medicine for nausea but since I hadn’t experienced any nausea and didn’t want to waste money, I did not fill the prescription. Of course it is the doctor’s duty to cover all bases and with nausea being a symptom, he wanted to offer me treatment for it. However, I wasn’t too worried since I hadn’t had any trouble with it up to that point. Then I went home and went to sleep but not for long. Maybe 2 or 3 in the morning I was awakened by the most painful and urgent feeling of nausea that I have ever experienced in my life. I said to myself, “Now you can cry and you can become angry or you can call on the name of Jesus and have faith that He will answer your call.” I decided that I would take that as an opportunity to exercise my faith so I closed my eyes and said, “Whether this illness be natural or spiritual, I demand you to come into submission unto the name of Jesus. I don’t know where you came from but I am telling you to leave. I have no power of my own but I am demanding you to bow down in the name of Jesus because I will have peace. My Savior died so that I may have peace,” and when I opened my eyes again it was later in the day and I had no discomfort whatsoever. Walking in that faith allowed me to rest in perfect peace and I didn’t even know it until it was time for me to go on with my day. All situations in our lives won’t go this way and it isn’t necessarily a matter of medication but more so about stepping out on faith. I could have been super drugged up, full with as many drugs as my body would handle and still remain in pain and shattered. I had to hold on to His promises and though we don’t always know how, when, or why He will do things, we have to believe that He will take care of us.

Ephesians 2:8-9 (KJV): “⁸ For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:⁹ Not of works, lest any man should boast.”

Gaining and maintaining faith isn’t always as easy as it may seem. After reading the mighty works that can be done from simply having faith the size of a mustard seed I ran to google “mustard seed” so I could see the true size. My jaw dropped because I only imagined that it would be easy to have faith bigger than the size of a mustard seed! But again, God uses a mustard seed surely to emphasize how rich faith is yet hard to come by. God could have said faith the size of a watermelon or turkey could move mountains but with Him knowing the struggle we endure to receive, act on, and live by faith He didn’t set the standards low but He does set them realistically. God is a just God and if He only asks for a mustard seed of something then we automatically know that it may not be easy but it is possible and it is rewarding.

Hebrews 11:1 (KJV): “11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

We must keep in mind that we are spiritual beings living in a natural world and because of that we are conditioned to understand things naturally. Faith encourages us to stand on the things that we cannot see or (yet see) with confidence and authority and I want to encourage everyone to make that leap. I am learning myself and I pray that I continue to learn. Faith isn’t an option, it is essential in our relationship with Christ. Again, living in faith may not be the easiest thing but if you have a heart to please God and you believe that without faith it is impossible to please God, it is a goal worth maintaining.

2 Corinthians 5:6-7 (KJV): “⁶ Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord:⁷ For we walk by faith, not by sight.”

Lord, I come to You asking You to simply give me faith. I had no idea how difficult it would be but thanks to Your careful guidance, it is beginning to make more sense. There are a lot of adversities that we will experience in life but we must stand strong in You while allowing faith to be our source of life. If we want to be Your servants, we must operate in Your faith. If we want to perform Your miracles, we must exercise Your faith. If we want to believe Your truth then Father we must receive Your faith. Lord, You know each of us and what we need to fulfill the plans You have for our lives. Please lead us, You know what we don’t know but regardless, we must never let go of our faith. During troubles and during peace. Whether it be concerning health or finances or love or our next step in life, help us believe. Not faith in ourselves but in You, our dear Lord. Amen.

Matthew 17:20 (KJV): “²⁰ And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.”

Excuse Your Toes, Please!

Mark 16:15 (KJV): “And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.”

When I first received salvation I loved talking about the Gospel to anyone who would listen. I quickly learned how divine His truth is and I immediately recognized that a conversation about the Lord surpasses any other conversation piece that I could ever try to muster up. As time went on I became nervous to talk to people about the Lord if I even suspected that they weren’t believers. I became concerned about if they would think that I was crazy or in simple terms, that I was stepping on their toes. As mentioned in the article, “How Can You Speak In Tongues And Not Speak To Your Neighbor,” the Lord brought to my attention that I can have many conversations but what do my conversations say about me? What do my conversations say about Him? The one who I claim to be an avid follower of. God never insists that we force the Gospel down someone’s throat but it is no secret that, “For of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh (Luke 6:45).” Constantly just “shooting the breeze” out of fear of rejection can be the very thing that prevents a person from hearing a word from the Lord.

2 Timothy 3:16 (KJV): “ All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.”

A few months ago I found myself with people who were sharing how they felt about homosexuality. The conversation quickly turned into a, “Wait, is it normal? It is abnormal? Where does it stem from? Are people truly born homosexual?” I stood there, nervous to share the truth that God had shared with me. I didn’t want anyone to think I was crazy or going too deep when I shared that homosexuality is spiritual, it is abnormal, but that still doesn’t mean that someone cannot be set free. I decided that I wasn’t going to say anything and keep quiet during the conversation…until. The Holy Spirit began to convict me. The only thing I could hear was, “So you are just going to rest there and not share the Truth that I have shared with you? You know the Truth. Are you going to keep quiet?” I mentioned that I knew homosexuality was spiritual and an abomination to God. The group of people gave me a head nod and got quiet as they thought on the power of His truth. It was then that I realized that I couldn’t keep quiet anymore, I had to speak Truth even during moments of discomfort. Hosea 4:6 (KJV): “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children. ” It is one thing to reject the Truth and it is something completely different to be without knowledge of the Truth. 

As the Body of Christ we have a specific job to do. 1 Corinthians 1:17 (KJV): “For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.” I don’t find it a mistake that since the story shared above, I have been faced with conversations concerning the Truth with atheists, Catholics, Jehovah’s Witnesses etc. The most difficult was the conversations about the false doctrine of Jehovah’s Witnesses because the individual is a very dear and cherished person in my life. Before I continue, my conversations about the Gospel are never focused on which denomination is better than another. We are supposed to be One in Christ. If we believe and read the same Bible and the same Truth, where is the discrepancy? It isn’t a matter of interpretation because the Holy Spirit bears witness of Himself. Even if the Spirit told three people three separate truths, He will bear witness and the understanding will be accepted and appreciated by each of them.

It is important to take note of how much emphasis the Father puts on His people not serving other gods and giving attention to strange nations.Deuteronomy 18:9-12 (KJV): “⁹ When thou art come into the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations.¹⁰ There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch.¹¹ Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.¹² For all that do these things are an abomination unto the Lord: and because of these abominations the Lord thy God doth drive them out from before thee.” We also know that nothing new is under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9). These same strange gods mentioned in the old testament are the same strange religions we witness today. Galations 1:6-9 (KJV): “⁶ I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel:⁷ Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ.⁸ But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.⁹ As we said before, so say I now again, if any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.” We cannot go forth preaching the Gospel without knowing, believing, and standing firm in the fact that there is only one true Gospel. The Bible tells us that there is another gospel, a false one.

1 Thessalonians 2:3-12 (KJV): “³ For our exhortation was not of deceit, nor of uncleanness, nor in guile:⁴ But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts.⁵ For neither at any time used we flattering words, as ye know, nor a cloke of covetousness; God is witness:⁶ Nor of men sought we glory, neither of you, nor yet of others, when we might have been burdensome, as the apostles of Christ.⁷ But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children:⁸ So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us.”⁹ For ye remember, brethren, our labour and travail: for labouring night and day, because we would not be chargeable unto any of you, we preached unto you the gospel of God.¹⁰ Ye are witnesses, and God also, how holily and justly and unblameably we behaved ourselves among you that believe:¹¹ As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children,¹² That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory.”

Before we even think to begin to do the works of God we must be sure that we are walking and working in His Spirit and that we are seeking to please Him. A sinner cannot save a sinner so the light of Christ that dwells within us must be proclaimed. In everything we do, we must do it in love remaining humble as we never lose sight of the fact that none of us are without sin and thus are unqualified to cast the first stone (John 8:7).With Christ being the example, we must adopt the dichotomy of expressing His unyielding love while still addressing sin for what it is. We ought to only speak when He tells us to speak but when we do, we cannot speak in fear. As we go out to be vessels of the Lord we must be able to tell anyone that you can only get to the Father through the Son (John 14:6). Again, we must keep in mind that Christ came not for the whole but for the sick and that the ONLY reason we can witness is because we were once sick too (Luke 5:31). Preaching the Gospel doesn’t mean that you won’t be ridiculed or persecuted; expect that you will. However, the Bible tells us that His people are dying because of the lack of knowledge. It is wonderful to think that one day we can come before the Lord with knowing that we did what He told us to do, without having any blood on our hands. Just think, what if no one preached the Gospel to you? God is the only one who can draw someone nigh but never forget that He has His people planting seeds, watering, and nourishing them along the way.

Father, we come to You right now as we humbly ask that You use us. We do not know the plans that You have for us but please help us submit and be courageous in You. Your people are dying because of the lack of knowledge. Your people are hurting and rejecting You. Your people are in bondage and held captive by Satan. While some people deliberately try to find ways to pervert the Gospel, others fall victim simply because they seek to find You but fall short because they believe the lies of the world. You know Your people and how to reach them and we ask right now that we are available for Your use. Please help us to not melt at the anger and violence that we may experience for proclaiming Your truth. If it doesn’t align with the Word please help us to say it and not become crippled because we don’t want to offend. Lord we know that the Truth only offends the unrighteous. We are only Your messengers Lord since we did not create the Gospel nor did we give it life or power. Regardless of the religion, regardless of the situation, please help us to speak when You tell us to speak and be quiet when You tell us to be quiet. We must not back down because You are with us and You will help us in our time of trouble.  Please help us to not be offended because You are truth. Satan and his demons should be offended. Remind us that people shouldn’t be offended by You but by Satan and the killing, stealing, and destroying he is doing in lives. Lord, we ask that You give us the courage and love to go out and preach the Gospel so that Your people no longer die because of the lack of knowledge. Amen.

2 Corinthians 2:14-16 (KJV): “¹⁴ Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.¹⁵ For we are unto God a sweet savour of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish:¹⁶ To the one we are the savour of death unto death; and to the other the savour of life unto life. And who is sufficient for these things?”

God Shares Thoughts

Proverbs 3:7 (KJV): “⁷ Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.”

My entire life I have wanted to be smart. Of course as a child I did not really know what it meant to be wise but I was familiar with what it meant to be smart. If I didn’t know before, I learned quickly when I caught on to power of grades, tests, and school. Fortunately, I have always loved to read and talk about things that were deeper than gossip and small talk. From what I can remember, I always liked to talk with adults simply because I felt like they had knowledge to offer. If I didn’t know what something was, I asked. Yep, I was that kid with a million and one questions. I suppose this desire for knowledge (after the leading of the Holy Spirit) is what drove me to become a Psychology major and Philosophy minor. I do not believe and receive everything I learn as my the Father is my first teacher and His word is my standard of Truth. Psychologist and especially Philosophers are typically known to be very intelligent and the deepest of the deep. However, to my surprise after coming to know God, I learned that worldly knowledge isn’t deep at all.

Proverbs 1:7 (KJV): “⁷ The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

When I was first saved I heard someone mention praying that the Father give them supernatural wisdom, knowledge, truth, and understanding. I never thought to ask God for that because I thought I was in school to gain knowledge and that wisdom would come with age. But the missing term was supernatural. I was so excited to pray my first few weeks after salvation that I was willing to try this new prayer, just to give me another reason to talk with my Beloved (See I was still treating God like a business partner. We never need a “reason” to talk with Him). Anyway, it seemed like overnight that He answered my prayers. Two things began to happen. My studies became super easy and the Bible became more understandable than ever. I was half disappointed that what I thought to be deep wasn’t deep at all but still very thankful that I had then recognized that God alone is deep AND He gave me the tools to understand the true deepness of His being. James 1:5 (KJV): “⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” Similarly to the understanding of the Word I mentioned in the article Saturate My Mind, the message of the Bible became revealed to me. Certainly my prayer for His wisdom and knowledge will never end because I still have so much to learn but I can honestly say that I have come a long way. James 3:17 (KJV): “¹⁷ But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.” As I sat in my Psychology and Philosophy courses these past few semesters I began to wonder how these authors/scholars/whatever you want to call them could understand everything but the Bible. Even before I began studying Psychology and Philosophy I was a Biology major with a Pre-med concentration and I saw the same pattern, majority of the scientists I had come in contact with understood what seemed to be everything…until it came to the Gospel. Wow.  Thank God, I was on to something. Proverbs 13:10 (KJV): “¹⁰ Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” The true wisdom that we all seek can only come from God! We must be advised by Him. I find it very unfortunate that some individuals find themselves on the road to Truth but become crippled by some type of detour. Even if someone believes 99.9% of the Truth, that 1% of error makes their entire belief untrue. It doesn’t take much to confuse or contaminate. We have to accept His whole truth, not pick and choose. That 1% is definitely something that the Lord can address and change but once our mind has been poisoned by the lies of the world and ultimately Satan, our “wisdom” becomes perverted. Proverbs 19:20 (KJV): “²⁰ Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.” These detours or curve balls that Satan has become so good at presenting is the root of many of the divisions within the Body of Christ. Don’t be surprised to know that false doctrine extracts some of what we all know to be true. I have noticed that in some doctrines, specifically the Jehovah’s Witnesses, tend to insert some truth right before false doctrine is slid in as well. Satan has been around for much longer than we have and if he can feed us enough truth to get us hooked, he can then sneak lies between cracks, playing on ignorance. I spoke with someone who used to study with Jehovah’s Witnesses and though they mentioned the Trinity and did not reject the power thereof, they also did not realize that the Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that Jesus is Michael the Archangel and that they did not believe in Hell. The pieces of Truth caught her attention but the lies and confusion corrupted it. As humans we never like to be wrong, we never like to “not know.” This is what drives individuals to make up stuff, trying to make sense of only something He can help us understand. Proverbs 15:31 (KJV): “³¹ The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise.”

I often speak with a lot of people who state how wise they think I am at such a young age. I want to clarify that I do not have any wisdom of my own. I pray to God each day asking that He give me supernatural wisdom, knowledge, truth, and understanding. It isn’t about age, it is about knowing Jesus. Proverbs 29:11 (KJV): “¹¹ A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” The Father has no respecter of persons and for that very reason He wants to bless each of His children with the wisdom that they ask for. Psalm 37:30 (KJV): “³⁰ The mouth of the righteous speaks wisdom,And his tongue talks of justice.” I had a dream once. There was a black screen with white words that read, “Bachelor’s degree. Master’s degree. Doctorate degree,” and in the background I kept hearing a voice say, “You don’t need a degree to believe.” Now this dream could mean many things but I simply want to address that my belief in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is where my wisdom comes from. I had to learn that my supernatural (only true type of wisdom) can come from God alone, not a degree. 1 Corinthians 1:30 (KJV): “²⁵ Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.”

The Bible puts a huge emphasis on wisdom as the Father specifically identifies Solomon’s request for wisdom when Solomon could have asked for anything.  2 Chronicles 1:10-12 (KJV): “¹⁰ Give me now wisdom and knowledge, that I may go out and come in before this people: for who can judge this thy people, that is so great?¹¹ And God said to Solomon, Because this was in thine heart, and thou hast not asked riches, wealth, or honour, nor the life of thine enemies, neither yet hast asked long life; but hast asked wisdom and knowledge for thyself, that thou mayest judge my people, over whom I have made thee king:¹² Wisdom and knowledge is granted unto thee; and I will give thee riches, and wealth, and honour, such as none of the kings have had that have been before thee, neither shall there any after thee have the like.” Now that is deep. Would I have asked God for wisdom before reading this passage? Probably not. Asking for wisdom isn’t something naturally in us to want. Our fallen nature is selfish and requests things that can only soothe the flesh. The desire to even want the wisdom from God is Holy Spirit inspired. If you want wisdom and understanding, just ask God. I know I do. Proverbs 16:16 (KJV): “¹⁶ How much better is it to get wisdom than gold! and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver!”

I have forever grateful for God to share true wisdom with me, with us. I pray that the Holy Spirit writes these articles. I have no idea what to write because aside from the Father that dwells within, the Truth isn’t in me. My prayer is that He gives me a mind to understand. I often talk with people who are discouraged about not understanding the Gospel. First, it is important to recognize that none of us know or understand everything. No one knows the mind of God and if we knew everything, it is safe to assume that we would indeed become boastful, trying to match the intellect of the Father. Isaiah 55:9 (KJV): “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” I pray that we all earnestly and humbly ask God to give us wisdom. We aren’t deep. God is deep. The Son is deep. The Holy Spirit is deep. The Gospel is deep. If we cannot understand that, we don’t understand anything. Do not be fooled by the false doctrine pushed by the world. There is a lot we can take from the world of academia but the Bible takes things to a whole new level. Sometimes it feels like within a second that the Holy Spirit has given me understanding. We have not because we ask not (James 4:2). Trying to “go deep” with the wrong spirit only makes us look foolish and confused. The Father and His understanding always makes sense, though that doesn’t mean it will always make sense to the world. I find comfort and hope in knowing that I can finally have the wisdom I always wanted and not by being in debt as I seek higher education. In times of needing wisdom, which is all of the time, the only thing I need to do is whisper a prayer to the Father asking, “God, may You share Your thoughts with me?” 

Proverbs 2:10-11 (KJV): “¹⁰ When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; ¹¹ Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee.”

Your Will, Not Mine

Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV): “⁵Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. ⁶In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

As I talked with a dear Sister in the Lord today I thought about what it means to truly walk in the will of God, daily. I mean, we sometimes tend to think more about His will when things are big but what about every day life? What about walking in His will from the big to the small? From the serious to the causal?

Romans 12:2 (KJV): ” ²And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

God,

Hey, it is me again. I want to talk with You about me following Your will. I am learning to trust You concerning my career, my love life, and even about life’s challenges concerning finances and health. But You know, I have been thinking about my trust in You in my daily life. I want to offer myself as a living sacrifice to You. I want to trade the plans I have for today and the schedule I have created for Yours. Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV): “¹¹For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” I never meant to make an agenda and simply fit You into it. I appreciate You renewing my mind because I know You are the reason why I even recognized my error. I want to state that I give You every second of my life, not just the big circumstances. I cannot give You issues concerning my socioeconomic status but try to appoint the revealing of my love life. You know I don’t mean to God. I have just been so used to doing things my way. From the depths of my heart, I surrender to You and Your perfect will. It may be easier said than done but I want to be both a hearer and a doer of Your word. You said that if I love You that I will keep Your commandments. Though Your commandments and instructions in the Bible are clear, I must not overlook the daily leading of the Holy Spirit as He speaks sometimes more often than I am in a position to hear. Help me to be more in tune with You Father. I give You my life to sculpt and mold, even if it is the complete opposite of what I have imagined. Even if Your will appears to seem impossible, unrealistic, intimidating, and even an inconvenience, help me to know that Your thoughts are not my thoughts. When I begin to think that I know something please remind me that I know nothing. I have to thank You for how wise You are. I am learning to stop questioning You and to just trust and thank You instead. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (KJV): ” ¹⁸In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” I could have never imagined the day that I could say this and genuinely mean it: Your will Father, not mine. I am naturally selfish, yes, but You are the perfect example of being selfless. Luke 22:42 (KJV): “Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” Life is throwing me a lot of interesting turns and curves but I need to find refuge in You even if Your will takes me on a detour while on the path You have already planned. Why do I continue to act like I have some type of control? When I get ahead of myself please remind me that You knew me before the Earth was created. I am so foolish and You are so clever. How grateful I am to have You because otherwise I would clearly be a lost cause. I guess this prayer sparked a yearning in my heart because of the many questions that I do not have the answers to. I can’t even answer to what my day will consist of tomorrow but that is fine as I remember that You instruct us to not worry about tomorrow because today has its own troubles. Once upon a time I would try to have everything in what I thought was decently and in order but unless You are the Conductor, that was an unreasonable goal. From the clothes that I wear, to the places that I do, to the things that I pursue, I pray that You are in the midst. I have learned the hard way that You must approve and bless each step so that Your anointing may rest upon it. I want success and prosperity in Your name so yup, I am dropping my will. What do I know? I sometimes forget the day of the week so it is a good thing that I can find comfort in Your plan. I pray that You give me a mind to ask You about everything! I do not want to step out of Your will and spoil your gifts. Your gifts of life and salvation. I have come too far to fall short when Your mercy endures for me and the rest of Your children. I need my mind to be restructured so that everything I do is about You, not me. No room for pride. No room for rejection. No room for condemnation. No room for anything that isn’t of You. I guess I will get ready for bed now Lord. I simply wanted to tell You that I love You and that I want You to take control of my life. I want Your Holy Spirit to drive everything I do from my getting up to my going to sleep. I want to honor You as I humbly exercise Your power as Your vessel. I must have circumcised ears, eyes, and heart to receive You clearly. I want to move when You say move and I want to stay when You tell me to stay. When I accepted You into my heart I dropped mine for Yours. Please give me a mind to not go to man, including myself but instead please give me a burning desire to seek and furthermore fulfill Your perfect and divine plan. Amen.

Isaiah 58:11 (KJV): “¹¹And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.”

But I am Tired!

Matthew 11:28-29 (KJV): “²⁸Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”

I used to think that I had the most baggage in the world. I was absolutely convinced that I had indulged in more sin than anyone I knew and anyone that I would ever meet. I just thank the good Lord that I was wrong but even if that was the case, His love and power goes deeper than any sin I had ever touched. I had baggage when I came to the Lord, no doubt about that!

Psalm 55:22 (KJV): “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

I was encouraged to write this article after many weeks of stress of confusion. I am a worrier. I am not proud of it but it is true and I am working on it. I have noticed that the exact things I stress about after knowing the Lord are the same things I stressed about before knowing the Lord. Something isn’t right. Didn’t Christ die so that we could have abundant life? The issue isn’t Christ taking our burdens but more so us giving Him our burdens and more importantly, us giving our burdens to the Lord and NOT taking them back. Jeremiah 6:16 (KJV): “¹⁶Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.”

I think we all know that baggage can come from every avenue and that different things can be considered baggage depending on the perspective. Our baggage can be sin. Our baggage can be current circumstances. Our baggage can be carried down 4 generations before us leaving the bags torn and covered with holes but still managing to hold curses and the anxieties that go along with them. Galatians 6:2(KJV):“²Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Regardless of the baggage, it is time to give them to God and to leave them there! We have baggage because we are human and if we didn’t get a chance to experience the burden of baggage then we would never get a chance to experience the sovereignty of God as He effortlessly takes our baggage and throws them in the sea of forgetfulness. Psalm 68:19 (KJV): “¹⁹Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah.”

Sometimes when I think of the sins I struggle with I become plain ole tired. When I am encouraged to fight I only think about how tired I am of fighting. Like God, “Why can’t this be gone already? I am tired of this baggage.” The key is that if I am still struggling then that means my flesh still has it. God has nothing to do with anything that is unclean or unrighteous. If something unlike Him is part of our lives, it is because we have a tight grip on it. When God deals with something, He deals with it and He crushes it. When we hold on to baggage it is essentially trying to step on the toes of God and telling Him that we have the power and authority to deal with burdens–even more capable than Him. Isaiah 41:13 (KJV): “¹³For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” We may not intentionally say this to God but when we refuse to give our burdens to Him or rest them at His feet and go to pick them up again, we are saying that we would rather have them. I am guilty of each of these things but it wasn’t intentional. In the world I was so used to operating with my flesh that I was conditioned to believe that I was in charge, making sure everything was being handled. I had no power then to deal with such heaviness and I don’t now but since I now know Christ, I am encouraged to do things the proper way. I now have the mind to pray to God giving Him my burdens regardless of what they are. I am in no position to handle (become weighed down) by them.1 John 5:3 (KJV): “³For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” I want to honor our Father by showing Him that I trust and have faith in the fact that He will work things out with my best interest in mind.

1 Peter 5:7 (KJV): “⁷Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

Lord, please help me to cast all of my burdens unto You. I am tired of the place where I am in You and it is only because I am holding on to my burdens. I need to give these sins to You and not try to end them on my own. I need to give You my broken heart and allow you to mend every muscle, vein, and capillary connected. When I worry, stress, and panic because of anxiety I pray that You remind me of who You are rather than what my burdens are. I am sorry for trying to do Your job. I give You my secret sins. I give You my greatest fears. I give You the pain that runs too deep for me to even discuss. I give You all of my burdens Father. Please help me, I beg of You. Amen.

John 14:27 (KJV):“²⁷Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

Jealousy, Me?

Exodus 20:17 (KJV): “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.”

Jealousy has always been a difficult topic for me. I couldn’t seem to understand why anyone could or would want to be jealous. I didn’t think materialistic things were ever a good enough reason. Ecclesiastes 4:4 (KJV): “Again, I considered all travail, and every right work, that for this a man is envied of his neighbour. This is also vanity and vexation of spirit.” I wasn’t even too sure about characteristics being a reason either because I always thought everyone was special in their own way. As I would read verses and commandments about not being jealous or crippled with covetousness I would scan my mind thinking, “Whew, I am glad that I am not controlled by jealousy. Jealousy has to be a terrible thing. I don’t want anything like that eating me up.”

Galatians 5:19-21 (KJV): “¹⁹Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,²⁰Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,²¹Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”

My rejoicing of not experiencing jealousy was short-lived because He revealed to me that I was. I remember it like yesterday. I sat on my bed in awe at the thought that I indeed was plagued by jealousy. But what made me jealous? Something that I thought shouldn’t even be qualified on the “to be jealous of” list. I was jealous of love. Well not love specifically, but of those who not only were offered love but simply of those who could receive it. Fighting with a spirit of rejection and losing the battle more times than I can count, I found myself jealous and crippled by the thought of someone having something that I thought was vital and deserving to every human walking on this Earth. Ouch. Not only was I jealous but I was jealous of something that didn’t seem to be optional, but something that truly made the world go ’round. I can go “buy” anything but I can’t buy love. What was I to do? Well since I was saved I knew to take that to the Lord but then what? I found myself upset when jealousy got hold of me and began to pick at the sores sealing wounds on my heart. Ouch again. My prayer was that I would no longer be jealous, simply because I am loved by Him unconditionally, before anyone and anything else. Has my revelation ended the jealousy? Not yet but it is a growing process. My heart was so calloused that I didn’t even realize that I was jealous. Then I became aware of my issue and felt pitiful for being jealous of something as simple as love. Then I found myself angry at myself and angry that I could not shake jealousy. I was right, jealousy is a terrible thing. Then I found myself during my moments of jealousy sending verbally silent prayers up to God asking Him to fulfill whatever made me jealous. I am not lying, I have experienced moments where jealousy was given the boot as our Father’s love rushed into my mind, body, and spirit. Yep, He is really that awesome.

James 3:14 (KJV): “But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.”

Jealousy is messy and God knows that, which is why we are specifically instructed to not be consumed by envy.1 Corinthians 3:3 (KJV): “For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?”  Jealousy doesn’t help individuals get far. If anything, it keeps an individual bound by selfishness and greed. James 3:16 (KJV): “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10) so there is no question about the wickedness of jealousy. James 3:14-15 (KJV):“¹⁴But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.¹⁵This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.” God takes covetousness and envy so seriously that He even filters such bugs in our prayer life, purging selfish motives in our supplications. James 4:2-3 (KJV): “²Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.³Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” The consequences of jealousy are death (like any other sin), as it cuts so deep that it can cut through flesh. Proverbs 14:30 (KJV): “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.” I think at one point I even thought, “Can jealousy really bring forth death? I mean everyone gets jealous about something and at some point, right?  “Song of Solomon 8:6 (KJV): “Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.” While we all may have that one thing that makes us jealous, God outlines the importance of us not being devoured by jealousy as an umbrella covering many sins. If someone is willing to lie they are willing to steal and if someone is willing to steal then best believe that they are willing to kill. It begins with envy but it doesn’t stop there.

Proverbs 27:4 (KJV): “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?”

                            The Lost Son

Luke 15: 25-30 (KJV): “²⁵Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.²⁶And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.²⁷And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.²⁸And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.²⁹And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:³⁰But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.”

The first time I read this part of the story about the Prodigal Son the only thing I could think of was, “This guy’s brother was lost then decided to come home and live life differently and the only thing he could focus on was that he wanted a party as well? How could he allow jealousy to steal joy for his bother’s breakthrough?” I guess it is similar to my experience with jealousy. How could I be jealous watching someone else receive love and affection, even if it was the very thing I wanted more than anything in this world? Why couldn’t I just be happy that someone else didn’t feel as empty as me? I can only guess that the answer is flesh but the better answer is when I asked Him to be my Comforter. The only one qualified to be jealous is God. Deuteronomy 4:24 (KJV):“For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.” The jealousy of God should even reinforce our reverence for Him, helping us avoid His wrath. Zechariah 8:2 (KJV): “Thus saith the LORD of hosts; I was jealous for Zion with great jealousy, and I was jealous for her with great fury.”

But wait. There is something else interesting that the Lord revealed to me. There is something beneficial to jealousy. If presented and enforced by God, it can produce His fruit. God has used jealousy to bring sinners out of their wickedness as they began to want the light living inside of His redeemed. The first example of this is when God offers salvation to the Gentiles so that Israel may turn away from their wicked ways. Deuteronomy 32:21 (KJV): “They have moved me to jealousy with that which is not God; they have provoked me to anger with their vanities: and I will move them to jealousy with those which are not a people; I will provoke them to anger with a foolish nation.” I often associate jealousy with negativity (as we usually should) but I was amazed to know that jealousy could produce positivity. Romans 10:19 (KJV): “But I say, Did not Israel know? First Moses saith, I will provoke you to jealousy by them that are no people, and by a foolish nation I will anger you.” We ought to pray for Israel and that they come back to their first Love and reject all false doctrine. I am truly grateful that I have been offered salvation and that I am now in position to pray for Israel’s submission to the Father. John 1:11-12 (KJV): “¹¹He came unto his own, and his own received him not.¹² But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.” In addition to Israel, anyone who isn’t a believer should be jealous of those who have the Holy Spirit dwelling within. It is troubling to think that Christians can have the Way, the Truth, and the Life without catching the attention of someone living in darkness. As God’s chosen people we have the Key, the answer, the perfect gift. We should question if sinners cannot see the fruit of God in the lives of Christians, let alone be jealous of it. This should be a reminder that we as Christians should allow Godly jealousy to prick the hearts of sinners, potentially leading them not to us but to Him who dwells within. Let your light shine from the tops of hills, not hiding the flicker under a bushel. 

Romans 11:11 (KJV): ” I say then, Have they stumbled that they should fall? God forbid: but rather through their fall salvation is come unto the Gentiles, for to provoke them to jealousy. 

Excuse My Manners

For the times when we have selective perspectives, favoring the perspective that dwells on the negative.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (KJV):“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

Psalms 75:1 (KJV): “Unto thee, O God, do we give thanks, unto thee do we give thanks: for that thy name is near thy wondrous works declare.”

This week has been a challenging one. I mean challenging in every way. From the numerous phone calls I have had to make to my home college to the many nights I spent trying to reach the ear of God—it has been challenging. Like in the video above, I found myself wondering what I had to be thankful for. As I was walking home a few days ago I began to have a battle in my mind. The anger and frustrations in my heart was trying to push out the Scripture vibrating through my headphones. My heart was a ball of fury but I knew the truth of His Spirit knocking on the door of my soul was much more important than my angry rant. I reluctantly gave in, rolling my eyes as I let go of how upset I was and tried to provide open access for the Holy Spirit. The interesting thing was that the battle did not stop there. For about two minutes my flesh was fighting with His Spirit but then free will came in. I had the will to welcome Him so that I could have the mind of Christ OR I could be disobedient and act as if the world owed me something. I thought of the joy I had that very morning as I smiled looking to the sky while I skipped to the bus,  30 minutes ahead of time. I missed my joy. So I said this very thing, “Okay. I am angry but I will let You in because You have been too good to me. Again I repeat, I am angry. But I will let it go. I can think on You instead and give thanks for all that You have done in, through, and for me.” Within seconds my anger was somewhere beneath me and I turned my music up as I began looking to the sky and smiling at God once again. Before I even consciously thought about it a simple, “Thank You God” flew out of my mouth. Wait. When was the last time I told God thank you? I don’t mean after He answered a desperate prayer but simply because of who He is?

Philippians 4:6 (KJV): “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

Later that day my Mom called and before hanging up she said, “And cheer up. I hope next time we talk you are in better spirits.” I hadn’t thought to curb my attitude during our conversation. I wanted to hurry and hang up so that I could think more on my current unfortunate circumstances. I grudgingly said,” Well okay. I am just dealing with some things.” My Mother began to attempt to find out what was bothering me but my usual response to stress is to not share it unless it is necessary or if I become so weary that it runs out of my mouth before I catch it. While she was fishing for answers I put my iPad away from my face and thought: She is paying attention. 1 Chronicles 16:8 (KJV):“Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people.” Am I going to give my joy away or am I going to give God thanks?

Ephesians 5:4 (KJV): “Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.”

How is that we have better manners when dealing with individuals on Earth than we do with our Heavenly Father? I often find myself showering people with thank yous and excuse mes. Why was it a conscious effort to say to God? It was new for me to praise my way out of my fury because when I am upset I tend to get tunnel vision, only focusing on what rubbed me the wrong way. What a new beginning that was for me because no one likes to be angry. The issues that I faced are still relevant but I pray that I praise my way through the rest as well. I know for sure that the good outweighs the bad, no doubt about that.

Ephesians 5:20 (KJV): “Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Today I found myself frustrated and deciding that I would go home early from school right after my doctor’s appointment but while sitting in the doctor’s office I had time to reflect. There I was sitting in the office with full insurance, playing on my iPad, thinking about the many options I would have for dinner, and looking down at my shoes and thinking that I want new ones although the current pair aren’t ruined….in summary still being unsatisfied. It really hit me when I saw a sickly man come out of the doctor’s office with a bunch of band aids covering the places where he had to get blood drawn. Within 10 minutes my blood was drawn, tested, and I was released to go home with perfectly normal levels. At that moment I had to thank God. There I was with perfect health and with every thing I have practically ever wanted sitting in my lap and I was aimlessly walking with a frown on my face. That was something to be checked. Sure, things in my life aren’t perfect but I rest assured knowing that there is no such thing. But even above health, finance, and other miscellaneous blessings (though people with poor health, shaky finances, and who have close to nothing to call their own can still be rich in Spirit) I can give thanks because I have salvation. If I were hospitalized with an estimated 2 weeks to live and accustomed to moving from place to place like a nomad without anyone to call friend or family I would still have a reason to say thank You to the Father. He is just that much of an almighty God.

Psalms 79:13 (KJV): “So we thy people and sheep of thy pasture will give thee thanks for ever: we will shew forth thy praise to all generations.”

We must not forget the greatest gift of all; salvation. Not even the world can forcefully take that away from us. I talked with a dear Sister in the Lord today and though our flesh would rather complain and look for pity, we asked for God to allow us to sharpen each other during our trying time. Our only answer was to take matters to the Lord as we swallowed anger and sadness so that we could open our mouths to pour out love, blessings, and praise. We must forever sing His praise! It is always easier to give thanks when things seem favorable in our eyes but the true test is when we are able to give thanks in the midst of trouble. Even if the world were to shatter before my eyes I pray that I hold on to my salvation as the most valuable thing that I possess. It is nothing that I worked for. It is nothing that I could demand. It is simply a gift from a Father who loved me when I didn’t love myself. I can only humbly accept, offering my body as a living sacrifice.

Lord, please give me a mind to give thanks to You at all times. Praising You because You are worthy. Praising You because You are bigger than our problems. Simply praising You for who You are.

Psalm 100:4 (KJV): ” ⁴Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.”

A Dehydrated Well

John 4:13-14 (KJV): “¹³Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again:¹⁴But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.”

I love water. I love the way it tastes, the health benefits it offers, and how abundant the supply is. However, while on Spring Break vacation I was traveling so much that I was not able to consume as much water as my body is used to and my body recognized. I found myself light-headed, wanting to drink more than I wanted to eat, having numerous headaches, unable to sleep because of nausea, and experiencing weakness. I didn’t like this feeling so I made it my business to get water each time that I could, even if it resulted in me rushing to the restroom all throughout the night. It was worth it because I didn’t want to do damage to my body. My water intake needed to be monitored because it is clearly vital for our existence, as we know that our body is made up of more water than anything else.

John 7:38 (KJV): “³⁸He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.”

Have you ever felt that God was far away? Like He is wasn’t as close as He used to be? The same way my flesh let me know that I physically needed water, my spirit has also alarmed me of my spiritual dehydration as well.

Isaiah 44:3 (KJV): ” ³For I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground: I will pour my spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thine offspring.”

These past few weeks I have found myself asking God where He is. When I don’t seem to hear a response I begin to think. Similarly to how I used to do as a child when I heard my parents yell my name with super authority. I would scan my mind of all of the things that I could have done wrong. When asking God where He is I find myself scanning my mind, thinking of sins I may have committed to push Him away. Sure, I sin each and every day but I couldn’t think of any sin I was freely indulging in. I began to think it was something different that He wanted to bring to my attention. The transgressions that came to mind were sins that I had been fighting against and repented for, plus God didn’t put on my heart that there was something specific that He wasn’t pleased with. So what else could it be? Why does my bestfriend seem so far? Why does Satan feel closer than God? Where could my First Love be? Does He know that I love Him? I know that He loves me. So where is He? Is He really quiet or can I simply not hear Him? Am I talking too much, not giving Him enough time or opportunity to talk? Is He talking but not saying what I want to hear? Something isn’t right and I can’t sweep it under the carpet. I want to address it so my Father and I can continue in holy collaboration.

Psalm 42: 1-2 (KJV): “¹As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.²My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?”

I am learning that aside from our sins, God can hide from us JUST so that we can seek Him. It is a terrible feeling to feel distant from someone you care for so deeply. But the key is that if we REALLY love God, we will take heed to His getting our attention. We often say that we love Him but the proof is if we keep His commandments (John 14:15). I appreciate that I am even able to recognize the presence of God because I was only aware after I stopped treating God like a business partner and began to seek Him as a Groom. He gives us a mind to know when something isn’t right. We have no wisdom. We have no knowledge. We have no insight– aside from what He gives us. We must praise Him for giving us understanding of spiritual things.

John 7:37 (KJV): ” ³⁷In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.”

I understand what God is doing in my life at the moment. He is allowing me to know what it is like for Him to not feel as close as what I am used to. I thank Him for giving me a mind and heart to recognize what is going on and I pray that He gives me the perseverance to forever seek Him. Thirst that will drive me to pick up the Bible before I pick up a fashion magazine or listen to a sermon rather than seeing what the world is up to. Being thirsty for Him will encourage me to pray as soon as I open my eyes rather checking my iPad as soon as I realize I am awake. God gives us things and people to enjoy but our thirst puts Him first. The fact that I am clueless and unsure about a lot of things in my life right now gives opportunity for the thirst for our Savior to provide answers. The questions I have can only be answered by Him and guess what? He will only give them if I seek Him. He isn’t a machine that spits out what we want after we push a button and He doesn’t work like Google–one click cannot solve all of our problems. Thirst allows us to become hidden in Him but it is different from anything that is and will ever be required for us to do on Earth. He knows that, which is why He gets our attention –so that we can step it up for Him. We live by His standards, not the world’s.

Matthew 5:6 (KJV): “⁶Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

I am forever grateful knowing that my thirst in Him can be filled. It is only because I am human that I have potential to have a spiritually dehydrated well. I mean we naturally try to become complete in the world and unfortunately we become so comfortable that we sometimes lose our integrity of remaining competent in our Father’s kingdom. Or maybe it is fortunate because our weakness and folly allows His divine interventions to give Him glory. Our thirst for Him humbles us and reminds us that WE NEED HIM! I appreciate anything that gives our Father glory and I pray that I take the necessary steps to edify Him in all that I do.

John 19:28 (KJV): “²⁸After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the scripture might be fulfilled, saith, I thirst.”

Lord, I am nothing without You. I am weak, but I want to boast in Your strength. I am thirsty for You and I want Your living water to flow through me. I have been selfish but I ask that You to make me selfless. I confess that when You feel far, my life shatters. I want more of You and nothing less. I want You in my heart, forever–as I pray that I follow You all of the way to glory. You are my everything Father. If I am in error in any way, please correct my path. I beg that You search my heart and expose any wicked way that be in me. I pray for humility, that I may humbly do Your work only remaining confident in the ability of Your power, Your authority, and Your strength. This is why I can boast in my weakness, because it provides opportunity for Your edification. I want You to consume my entire being. I want the sweet scent of Your word to be entangled in every fiber of existence. I want my flesh completely crucified and my spirit to be completely alive in You. Help me remain thirsty Lord, I beg of You. I love You only because You loved me first. I want the Holy Ghost fire to shock my system, causing my heart to beat to a rhythm unknown to man. I want a new song of praise, a new dance, a new jubilee unto You. I don’t want the muddy water from puddles in the world. I don’t want artificially flavored water from Satan. I want Your holy water! I pray that You keep me focused, desperate, eager, and thirsty for You. All of the way to glory. Amen.

Revelation 7:16-17 (KJV): “¹⁶They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat.¹⁷For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.”

Universal Prevail

I am currently on vacation in Florence (Tuscany) Italy at the moment. A friend and I couldn’t imagine not doing anything today and since we didn’t have a church to attend today, we decided to go to our favorite mountain top and have our own service. It was spectacular to say the least. It was amazing to cry out to Him while looking down at the country.

 Psalm 65:6 (KJV): ” ⁶Which by his strength setteth fast the mountains; being girded with power.”

I had an interesting experience in Milan, Italy–right before I left for Florence. I was tired when I landed in Italy and so my friend and I decided to take a taxi to our hotel in Milan. As we approached the hotel we saw women standing in front of their cars just lounging and talking. As we passed the women the taxi driver stated, “You are staying in the prostitute district. Keep your doors locked and eyes open at all times.” My eyes nearly fell out of my head when I heard that we were staying in a prostitution district. While I wasn’t too concerned about the prostitutes, I thought about the men who typically become involved with these women. The taxi driver mentioned us being cautious a few more times, making me more concerned. Then at one point my friend and I said, “Well we were going to be careful anyway. It probably isn’t that big of a deal.”

Until…we got into the hotel.

The first thing the receptionist did was asked for us to fill out a police report. I was confused about what was going on because the hotel was pretty expensive and had great reviews. We felt tricked and nervous about having to fill out a police report before even paying the remainder of the payment for the room. It was after 1 am and we had nowhere else to go so we gathered our things and went up the steps into our room. We were supposed to stay there until about noon the next day but we already knew that our schedule needed to change. I will admit, we were terrified– trying to stay close in the room, not touching anything if we didn’t have to. We refused to sit on the beds and certainly didn’t plan to shower there. The uneasiness in the room was strong enough to grab the attention of even the most skeptical non-believer. It was time to pray.

1 Peter 3:8 (KJV): ” ⁸ Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.”

We began praying for our protection and peace within and around us. I soon found myself beginning to pray for the women and men who are indulging in these sinful acts. I began praying for their salvation and that Satan’s hold would be broken in their lives. That caught me by a surprise because I began praying for myself and ended up praying for them. This shows me that the Lord was taking over because my flesh only thinks of itself but He is selfless and thinks of others. My friend and I spent the rest of the night listening to Gospel and reading Scripture. I was hoping to make a breakthrough as a vessel to help any captive souls willing to receive Christ as their Lord and Savior. I wanted the Spirit of God to dwell in that place, disturbing all wickedness taking over. I was praying that the blood of Jesus would prevail for all of those who wish to know Him.

On our special mountain top I thought about that experience in Milan, how His blood prevails universally. I have prayed many prayers in America and Denmark but I never imagined to pray that same prayer in Italy. My friend and I encouraged each other to trample over fear and rejoice in His power. At one point I said, ” Well, God can save anyone! Even a prostitute. I mean, if He can change a hardcore atheist.. it isn’t over unless He says it is over.” Then my friend responded, ” Yep, Look at Mary Magdalene.”

Psalm 95:4 (KJV): “In his hand are the deep places of the earth: the strength of the hills is his also.”

After reading the resurrection passage this afternoon I rejoiced while thinking of His blood offering redemption to each and every one of us. While we may need to be in a certain state to get the new Apple product first or be in a specific country to have the best tasting water– His blood has no boundaries.

Psalm 36:6 (KJV): “Thy righteousness is like the great mountains; thy judgments are a great deep: O Lord, thou preservest man and beast.”

I looked to my left and saw some random things piled together and I thought,”Why is this ugly stuff in the center of this beautiful view?” But similarly,  we can always question why ugly sin rests in His beautiful temples. The picture below was small compared to the rest of the scenery but it was “ugly” enough to constantly catch my attention. That is our sin.

It is refreshing to have His blood purge all filth from us–one moment at a time.

Amos 9:13 (KJV):  “¹³Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that the plowman shall overtake the reaper, and the treader of grapes him that soweth seed; and the mountains shall drop sweet wine, and all the hills shall melt.”

Even when we try to hide our sins. Yep, those secret sins–He sees those too. Don’t be too ashamed to admit and confess. Thank Him for searching your heart and discovering all that is deeply rooted and dormant.

Follow the path that He has already paved for you. His blood has already conquered death, conquered sin, conquered disease, conquered generational curses–conquered all wickedness in high places. He went before us because He had the heart and mind to be obedient to the Father and do what none of us could do.

Hold tight Body of Christ! He has shed His precious blood so that we may have life, so that we may have redemption. I loved being able to feel His presence and His forgiveness all of the away on the hills of Italy. The blood isn’t only for me but also for you. I spoke with my Mother today as she told me how she enjoyed her first time in church, after maybe 5 years. Towards the end of the conversation my Mom began to compare her walk with others, using them as a guide. My only suggestion is that she look for God to lead her, not man. It is always vital for us to meet Christ before we meet the Christian. The same thing He does for one vessel He can do for another.

Romans 2:11 (KJV): ” ¹¹For there is no respect of persons with God.”

We cannot forget that His blood prevails universally!

Preparing For His Many Seasons

Where do I start?

 Genesis 1:14 (KJV): “And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years.” 

God has seasons, many of them. The Bible even tells us so that we can be prepared. It isn’t a matter of possibly entering a season or leaving one because it WILL happen. If anything, it is a matter of preparation.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 (KJV):“¹To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; ³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;⁵A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;⁶A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;⁷A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;⁸A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.⁹What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?¹⁰I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.¹¹He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.”

Within the past few months God has been showing a tiny bit of the way He works, when He transitions us through seasons. My studying abroad just being one of them, He has gotten my attention in a very unusual way. I received news a few weeks ago and while the news isn’t really important–it was so shocking that I had to run into the bathroom and simply cry. I cried because God was preparing me for a new season, a season that I knew would be coming. While in the bathroom for a short while I gathered myself, deciding to reach out and talk with someone from back home. I decided to call a special young man in my life, who I call Calev. I was frustrated with the fact that while trying to reach out to America my email shut down, I couldn’t make phonecalls, and text messages barely went through. It seemed like everything was being blocked. At one point Calev was able to send me a text that read, ” Maybe God is trying to get your attention. Maybe He is shutting everything down so that you can cry out to Him.” This made perfect sense. Why didn’t I think of that? And so I did. I went back into the bathroom and I cried and cried and cried. I cried not because the news was necessarily bad, and not necessarily because I was informed that a new season was approaching but I was crying because I didn’t feel prepared for the season to change. I could only ask the Lord to help me be ready. As I cried out to Him all I could say was, “Lord, please just give me a little more time.”

Acts 1:7 (KJV): “And he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power.”

Will God give me more time? Who knows. But do I need to get ready…regardless? I sure do.

I want to share another example. As I prepare for my last year in college, I find myself intimidated by the season I am leaving and the season that is waiting for me. I don’t know the season but I know there has to be one, God doesn’t run out of seasons or plans for us.

I had a dream months ago about my family throwing me a going away party before I left to travel abroad. The dream was odd to me because as individuals came to my house, they each had a baby gift. As I saw each baby gift I thought, ” Why are they bringing all of this baby stuff? I am no baby!” But as the dream continued, I found myself sitting on my living room floor similar to how I used to when I was about 3 or 4 years old, playing with dolls. Not only was my house full with baby gifts, but I was sitting on the floor acting like a baby! After the dream I decided I would no longer fear studying abroad or my life changing according to His will.

Last week I had another dream. In the dream it was the graduation day of this year’s class, 2012. As the seniors of my college crossed the stage my school brought out a cake crowning my class, 2013, the new seniors. Within seconds everyone disappeared and I was alone with the cake. I looked to my left and there was a baby crawling towards the cake. I looked, wondering whose baby it was. The baby and I seemed to understand how each other was feeling, although we didn’t say a word to each other. For the remainder of the dream the baby and I sat in front of the cake, slowly eating the icing until there was none left covering the cake.

Genesis 8:22 (KJV): “While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.” 

Now, I don’t like to go deep into interpreting dreams unless the Lord gives me wisdom and insight. However, these dreams seem to have a clear message. I am fearful of the seasons before me. Just as I  shared above, my prayer has been, “God give me more time,” when they should actually be, “God, prepare me for this new season.” We can’t run or hide from the seasons that await us. We must only ask that we are prepared for them. A season to begin new relationships. A season to end old relationships. Even a season to have physically distant relationships, which allow you to become more spiritually connected. Some seasons are temporary, while others can be permanent. 

Daniel 2:12 (KJV): “And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding.”

Wouldn’t life be boring and probably fruitless without seasons? I know I certainly wouldn’t want Satan riding me for more than a season! He is annoying just for the season he gets to tempt. Luke 4:13 (KJV): ” And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a season.” God does us a favor with giving us time to prepare even for our season of temptation. Sometimes entering a new season can make us feel discouraged, especially if things are tight and seem to lack very little fruit, if any at all.Galatians 6:9 (KJV): “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Know that even the Heavens and the Earth adhere to His seasons. Psalm 104:19 (KJV): “He appointed the moon for seasons: the sun knoweth his going down. The seasons of the year are only possible because He embedded seasonal instructions into them. Everything truly does have a season.

I want everyone to be encouraged by the seasons He is taking you out of or bringing you into. He says He knows the plans He has for us (Jeremiah 29:11). I write this to you all as I first write to myself–do not fear. Our God is a mighty God and everything He does, He does it with our best interest in mind. So many seasons, so many changes, so many blessings. Even the seasons that are storms, still remain as blessings. Some seasons may seem more drastic than others or more unexpected than the last but hold tight– He isn’t an overbearing or overwhelming God. I often feel like I am not ready for a new season simply because I had gotten so comfortable in the season that I was in. I was so comfortable in the old that I became intimidated and fearful for the new. We all experience this stage of uncertainty at some point but we MUST be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).

 1 Thessalonians 5:1 (KJV): “But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you.”

Again, it isn’t a matter of there being a change of seasons. The goal is simply that we are ready for the change. We must not rush the seasons. We must not try to postpone the seasons. We must merely buckle down and prepare for His many seasons. Keeping in mind that obedience is better than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22) . If we hold fast to the leading of the Holy Spirit, it is only then that we can be prepared for our seasons in Him, decently and in order (1 Corinthians 14:40). 

Matthew 24:32 (KJV): “Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When his branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is nigh.” 

Help us prepare Lord. As we stand with our armor on. As we stand with an open mind and heart to Your leading. As we stand singing songs of praise during our quiet times with You. As we cry out to You yelling, “Abba!” As we nervously ask for directions from You. As we recognize that the world doesn’t have the answers…. but that You do. As we fervently seek, pray and fast to serve You in Spirit and in Truth– prepare us. Even if our hearts ache in disappointment. Even if our mind is foggy with confusion. Even if we rant in anger. Please break our flesh and prepare our spirit. Your will above our own. Amen.

 

Psalm 1:3 (KJV): “And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.“

Stolen Identity

I can’t find my ID. I have looked everywhere.

In my wallet.

In my car.

I’ve called and asked my parents.

I’ve called and asked my friends.

I have even tried to search my heart.

I still can’t find my identity. Would you happen to know where it is? No, not you– I am asking God. I have already made the mistake of seeking such answers from man.

Ephesians 1:3-8 (KJV): “³Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:⁴According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: ⁵Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, ⁶To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. ⁷In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace; ⁸Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence.”

I had a conversation with a woman earlier this week. She shared issues going on in her home and in the middle of the conversation I said, “You don’t know who you are. You don’t know who you are in Christ.” She immediately broke down in tears and whispered, “You’re right. I don’t know who I am. I am 37 years old and I don’t know who I am.” My heart goes out this woman. I am 20 years old and I dislike the thought of not yet knowing who I am in Christ and I certainly don’t want to grow a day older not knowing who I am in Him. For so many years this woman had tried to find her identity in her two children, her husband, her financial status, and essentially, in the sin of world. A few seconds later in the conversation she became upset and said,”I am worthless. That’s what I am. I am nothing. I am weak. I have nothing. I am nothing.” Certainly that isn’t true–they are all lies from the pit of Hell that I am all too familiar with. It is difficult because if you know nothing else, the lies of Satan become pathetically believable simply out of desperation to be somebody, to be something.

Satan is a thief on every level you can think of. If he has potential to take lives, don’t you think he has potential to take identities?

John 10:10 (KJV): “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

So again, I know about the lies stated by this woman because I believed them myself. The world will give you the identity as being a whore, worthless, stupid, ugly, shameful, pitiful, useless, broken, weak, rejected, filthy– the list could go on. As children of God, our identities have been stolen from us before being born again. While unsaved, we had no idea of the spirit that was behind the comments of being called the most beautiful, the most handsome, the best at this and the most qualified at that. The deceiving spirit behind these “compliments” condition us to think that the world has much to offer us. When we are consumed by these identities we give the world and ultimately Satan, the authority to adopt, name, and identify us. Some attributes and characteristics are indeed given by God but it is always backwards if we seek our identity in the world opposed to seeking, finding, and receiving our identity in our Lord and Savior. Before salvation we found our identities in worldly things but now that we are adopted into His royal family, our identities must change.

My question has usually been..where do I start with finding my identity? Forget the physical stuff. Forget finding identity in my school. Forget my career. Forget the identity in my last name. Forget my material possessions. What is the identity that will follow me all of the way to Glory?

John 1:12 (KJV): “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.”

After we realize that we are so much MORE than any identity the world can give us; it is only natural to want to go deeper. God tells us that we are His children. We are His friend. And if we keep His commandments and submit to the will of God we can be His brother, sister, and mother (Matthew 12:50). Once I received that I was a child of the most high God I wanted to know more. Don’t get me wrong, being His child is more than enough. If God never shared another part of my identity with me–being His child, His friend, or even His servant is enough for me. I just know that God has made us individuals, we are each unique and special to Him. With that, it seemed only natural for me to want to know the special identity He has given me. What makes me…me? We are so special that He knows each hair on our head (Luke 12:7) and He bottles our tears (Psalm 56:8). I can only assume that He has given us an identity in Spirit. I want to know who He made me. I want to know the gift(s) and fruit(s) of the Spirit He has embedded in me. I want to know my position in the Body of Christ. It is not to become prideful. It is not to take credit from His work. No one else has to know, only you and God. Knowing our identities can help us operate the way He wants us to. Knowing our identities can give us a mind to thank Him for loving and caring for us so much that He makes us the apple of His eye (Zechariah 2:8). If you are in the army and you don’t know your position, your duty– you ruin the flow of the rest of the Body. You may not be in the military on Earth but if you’re a follower of Christ, you ought to be a soldier in His army. One identity in Christ is better than a million given by Satan.

I want to drop off my old identity. Can you believe for all of these years I have allowed Satan to tell me who I was?  I am so much more in Him than what I have believed for so many years. When the world tells you to blend in with others, be homogeneous, to be androgynous– God tells us to be a light before men so that we may glorify our Father in Heaven (Matthew 5:16). I have found myself standing as a servant of Christ, in a middle platform, moving from the false identity to the true one. Do I have moments when I wonder if some of the old identity was true? Yes, but does God confirm that a lie is a lie when He outshines it with His truth? Absolutely.

When your false identity in Satan tells you that you are incomplete and that you need someone, something to complete you.

God says: Colossians 2:9-10 (KJV): “⁹For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily.¹⁰And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power.”

When your false identity in Satan says that you’re so wicked and that you have no choice but to end up in Hell.

God says: Philippians 3:20 (KJV): “For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ.”

When your false identity in Satan says that you are nothing and that you have nothing.

God says: Colossians 3:1-4 (KJV): “¹If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. ²Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.³For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.⁴When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.”

When your false identity in Satan tells you that you have no family; you have no friends.

God says: Galatians 4:6-7 (KJV): “⁶And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.⁷Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.”

When your false identity in Satan tells you that there is always someone better than you; that God could never want YOU.

God says: Galatians 3:26-28 (KJV): “²⁶For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.²⁷For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.²⁸There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”

When your false identity in Satan tells you that you cannot produce good or offer anything to God.

God says: John 15:16 (KJV): “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.”

When your false identity in Satan tells you that you can’t do anything to become saved–it is true but this is the catch.

God says: Ephesians 2:8-9 (KJV): “⁸For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: ⁹Not of works, lest any man should boast.”

When your false identity in Satan tells you that you aren’t attractive or smart enough to be married or wanted by someone else.

God says: Revelation 19: 7-9 (KJV): “⁷Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.⁸And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.⁹And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.”

I encourage and challenge everyone reading this article to not go another day without knowing their identity in Christ. It is a never-ending process but let us get the ball rolling. No one in this world can give you the true identity that has been assigned to you. We aren’t robots, God knows us individually. We have gifts. We have weaknesses. We have strengths. Satan can and will tell you a lot of lies if you give him the opportunity. Ask God to renew your mind and search your heart so that not even a piece of your old identity remains. We cannot come together with someone or even rush into having children to find our identities because the void will remain. Trust me. Regardless of the avenues you seek, the pain you endure, or the instant gratification you obtain– His identity can only be received from Him and from His throne. This identity can’t be picked up at your school’s student office or at the DMV after you pass your driver’s test. You cannot be more familiar with motherhood than you are with servanthood. Being a father or mother, son or daughter, brother or sister, or friend–can be great gifts from God but it isn’t wise to come before God with a list of identities that doesn’t begin with a true relationship with Him. Prepare intimate time with God and simply ask who you are in Him. We have not because we ask not, as long as we obey (1 John 3:22). Before you push to gain more titles and beg to be given an identity by the world, know your identity in Him. He is all to us.

Miserably Misunderstood

John 14:27 (KJV): “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

I used to think that I was the most misunderstood person in the world. I began to accept that some people will never understand me and that I should just give up trying to help others understand me. I am unsure where the misunderstanding comes from but in addition to my communication skills not being the strongest, I sometimes have become so frustrated that I have given up. I don’t mean being misunderstood in the sense of an argument or confusion. I simply mean being misunderstood, or not understood at all. There has been times when I have tried to explain something to someone and they just did not get it. I will admit that even in my frustration, I have been guilty of saying ,”Yes, that’s what I mean,” just so the individual would drop the topic. Agreeing to something that I didn’t mean at all. I began to get tired of the moments when I felt so frustrated and anxious about trying to explain something to someone and for them to understand what I was trying to say.  For a little while I decided not to talk about anything but that didn’t work for long because we NEED to share things. The key is just WHO we share them with. In my talking with the Lord about feeling misunderstood, He has shown me that not only am I not always understood by others, but I am not always understood by myself either.

Job 28: 12-13 (KJV): “¹²But where shall wisdom be found? and where is the place of understanding? ¹³Man knoweth not the price thereof; neither is it found in the land of the living.”

Understanding is spiritual. Wisdom is spiritual. We are spiritual.

Hebrews 11:3 (KJV): “Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.”

All of this makes sense as only God truly understands ALL things. No matter how long we have known someone or how close we are to them–no one will understand us, what we go through, how we feel, or what we experience the way He can and does. Could you imagine if that weren’t the case? So much idolatry would be presented in our lives if our spouses, family, and friends had the mind of God and therefore could understand all things. This brings me comfort, when God reminds me the special things He saves unto Himself. If everyone or anyone on earth understood everything, we would naturally never go to God.

As I walked home yesterday I began talking with God, thanking Him for understanding me. When I try to express something spiritual that I am experiencing and no one understands, He does. When I am struggling with school and no one understands why, He does. When I feel a certain way but can’t understand it enough to put it in words, He does. When I am upset and can’t figure out why, He knows. When I am so joyful and want to scream the Gospel from mountain tops, He understands. When I am nervous and afraid and people think it is foolish, He knows how to make sense of it. When I am unsure and just can’t understand something, He understands it for me. When I am rebellious and disobedient and no one knows the root of it, He knows the root and prepares to pull it out. When I do the things that I don’t want to do and others or myself don’t understand why, He does. I can rest assured knowing that even when I don’t understand, He does. When I am misunderstood on earth, I don’t have to panic. He never leaves us misunderstood in Him.

Last summer I was a teacher’s assistant and I had a student who is extremely bright but who had a difficult time expressing himself and his thoughts. One day he wanted to tell me a joke but he just couldn’t get it out. As I watched this 6-year-old young boy bounce from side to side and nervously twirl his fingers–he burst out in tears. My eyes got bigger because…. I saw myself. Sure, we may think that explaining a joke is no big deal but to this young boy it was. And beyond just joke telling, it can be overwhelming to so desperately want someone to understand but they just don’t seem to be able to. I tried my best to calm the young boy, knowing all too well the feeling he was experiencing. Before we knew it I was able to bridge our language and age barrier and I was able to help him out and as a result, he was able to share his joke. We laughed and laughed and laughed. The joke was cute but our breakthrough was even cuter. He was 6 and I was 19 and we each knew what it felt like to be misunderstood. Although I was able to help him, sometimes things won’t work out that way for us. We must remember that humans are only humans, like you and I.

Regardless if you express yourself effectively or not, some things are to remain for God. I have been misunderstood in many areas, even with consequences coming out in a skewed way, when my intentions had been good. I’ve been misunderstood in the classroom, in friendships, and in conversation–just to name a few. However, at this point the only thing that still sometimes bothers me is being misunderstood in my walk. God does give us help in our Christian walk but no one can ever replace Him. Sometimes I have a spiritual question and before I even ask someone about it I just KNOW that I should take it directly to the Lord. He hasn’t failed me yet. Cry out to Him who has the knowledge to understand all things and all people.

I am learning that it is okay to be misunderstood to and by the world, fore I am always understood in the Father.

Job 26:14 (KJV): “Lo, these are parts of his ways: but how little a portion is heard of him? but the thunder of his power who can understand?”

His Great Love

Ephesians 1:7 (KJV): In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace.”

Today, as I listened to one stanza of the song posted below, God began to do a mighty work in me. Never lose sight of His promises:

He breaks the power of cancelled sin
He sets the prisoners free
His blood can make the foulest clean
His blood availed for me

Psalm 139: 23-24 (KJV): “²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:²⁴And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Saturate My Mind

2 Timothy 3:16-17(KJV): “¹⁶All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: ¹⁷That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”

The importance of staying in the Word has been on my heart for these past few weeks. Since being saved I have learned how important it is to constantly renew our mind but I am now seeing that it is more than important, it is vital. The other day I was talking with God and I asked Him, “God, what is my problem? Why do I sin even without temptation?” He had to remind me that even without temptation, my flesh is naturally wicked. Mark 7:21 (KJV): “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders.” It makes perfect sense because if in my natural form I am wicked, I don’t stand a chance in saying no to sin without the leading of His Spirit. Being inconsistent in our reading and studying of the Word makes us a victim to the wickedness of flesh and the perverse nature of Satan. When I first got saved I was always eager to read the Word. I read the Bible each time I got a chance, desperately asking God for deliverance and life. But now that He has started answering my petitions, I must do my job in filling my empty rooms with His Spirit. Matthew 12:44-45 (KJV): “⁴³When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none.⁴⁴Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished.⁴⁵Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.”

I read the entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelation in a matter of months, just because I couldn’t put the book down. Of course we never “finish” reading the Bible, that was only the beginning for me. I thought about reading different verses each day but as much as I have read books, I started with the way I knew how–from the beginning. Genesis 1:1 (KJV): “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.” There is no correct way to read the Bible, this is just the approach I decided to take. I read it during meetings, during times of the night that my body begged me to sleep, in the morning before class, when I took breaks between doing homework, and when I found myself surrounded by conversation that seemed too pointless for me to partake in.

Today, a little over a year later, I ask God for that same zeal so that my mind may be saturated in His word.

Matthew 12: 43-45 (KJV): “43 When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. 44 Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. 45 Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.”

You actually read the Bible?

A few weeks ago someone mentioned that Christianity is only the first testament of the Bible. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t feel led to but I certainly wondered what this person was talking about. About a minute later the same lady said to me, “I assume you only read the new testament as well.” I responded, “Nope. I read the old and new.” The woman and everyone else at the table stopped talking and looked at me. Then she asked,”Well why?” So then I said, “It is never a good idea to only read half of a book.” She nodded her head and that was the end of the conversation. Apparently that is a common misconception but that was the first time I had heard of it. As much as I have camped out in libraries and books stores, not once had I ever heard of someone reading only half of a book. That only shows you that there is something special about the Bible. There is life in the Bible—-why else would it be suggested that individuals skip over parts? I told someone a few months ago, “You can’t study Adam and not study Jesus. You can’t study the fall and not study the resurrection.” We must be logical, don’t allow ignorance to skew the perception of our God.

Why the Bible?

A few days later that same woman began to mention how she isn’t sure if she can believe the Bible. Her argument was that the Bible has been “tampered” with too much. I never understood how and why individuals use this as an argument for why they think the Bible is sketchy. My thing is that, we believe every word written in History books that supposedly give us insight into what took place years before even our grandparents were born. Some individuals suggest that our history has been saved and patiently documented regardless of what we hear through the grapevine. If you think the information we receive in our American History books are raw and honest, I am sorry to disappoint you. We all know that our history’s documents are skewed and the most tampered with. So what is the issue again? No one has come back from the dead to tell me about George Washington but in the past the Holy Spirit has given me Scripture to say in prayer that I had never read before, bearing witness of Himself. Not saying that our academic books doesn’t share some of our country’s history with us but I am saying that our books are no match for His book. People think I am crazy when I tell them that I believe everything the Bible says and guess what? I pray that I believe it more and more each day. So when people ask how can I to be sure that what is written in the Bible is true and accurate, my initial answer is…….. I can believe the Bible because I know and trust the Author.

If I was an author and I had written a book but an individual had suspicion that someone was interpreting my book wrong, was tampering with my verbiage, or was misleading my children—- all that individual would have to do is call or email me. It would be a pleasure for me to respond by letting that individual know either yes, the fruit of my book is being presented righteously OR that the pages of my book were being perverted by others. We should have that same relationship with God. I know the Word is truth because the Holy Spirit dwelling within me bears witness. If I am naturally wicked and I have the mind to tell a reader that my book has been tampered with, why wouldn’t He who is Holy do that and much more?

Luke 11:11 (KJV): “If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? of if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?”

A few weeks ago I began to have a strong desire to buy a new Bible, KJV version, and do some heavy studying. So I ordered a new Bible, KJV, with Hebrew and Greek keynotes. I am really excited if you haven’t noticed. I plan to dedicate time each day to read the Word, meditate, and pray with active and genuine fasting. I read the Word but definitely not as much as I should or must—but that is a work in progress, just like everything else. Reading the Word is vital for all of our spiritual growth. We can’t fight Satan in our own name or with our own authority so we certainly need to know His. Nothing I say in my name can be taken seriously in the natural or the spiritual realm (Ephesians 6:10-17). How can we fight in a war of we don’t know our weapons and maybe more importantly, how to effectively use them?

Matthew 4:2 (KJV): “But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.”

 

I wanted to share something else. When I am out of the will of God one of the ways He gets my attention is when I try reading the Word. There has been times when I have tried to read a verse which I have read and understood many times before but at a specific time I suddenly sat there, confused and worried. 1 Corinthians 2:13 (KJV): “Which things also we speak, not in the words which man’s wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.” It takes supernatural wisdom, knowledge, truth, and understanding to understand the Word of God. Not being in alignment with God will certainly hide His truth from us. For those who have a hard time understanding the Bible, you must be making a genuine and fruitful effort to live righteously and without spot or blemish. It is not impossible to understand Scripture but it is an honor to be able to do so. There has been times that I have read a verse—- had a difficult time understanding it—-prayed and asked for understanding—- read the Scripture again and it made perfect and complete sense to me. Also, I want to mention that the way Scripture applies to our life can change as we change. Don’t be surprised.

I usually pray and ask God to lead me to read whatever it is He wants me to read. One time I was reading Esther but my Bible and Bible app kept going back to Job. I took that as God wanting me to read Job as I would wake up at all different times of the night with my Bible open to Job. As I read Job, I was able to extract something still truthful but different from the many times I read it before. God is that amazing! His Word never comes back void. Never. Ever. Romans 15:4 (KJV): “For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.”

Some of my favorite verses are below. When I first read this passage a year ago I had an understanding that we should eat the Word. Now, don’t go tearing out pages of your Bible and start eating them. I mean that we shouldn’t only read the Bible but we should eat and digest it, so that it becomes part of us. We must take note that the Bible isn’t just a book. It is a way of life.

 

Ezekiel 3:1-4 (KJV): “¹Moreover he said unto me, Son of man, eat that thou findest; eat this roll, and go speak unto the house of Israel.²So I opened my mouth, and he caused me to eat that roll. ³And he said unto me, Son of man, cause thy belly to eat, and fill thy bowels with this roll that I give thee. Then did I eat it; and it was in my mouth as honey for sweetness. ⁴And he said unto me, Son of man, go, get thee unto the house of Israel, and speak with my words unto them.”

I want this post to be of encouragement to myself and everyone else who may be reading it. Lets be honest, God knows if you genuinely want to know Him more or if you sit at your desk grudgingly skimming through the pages of the Bible. You will only frustrate yourself more. When reading the Bible you must come with a desire to want to understand more, discern better, and retain abundantly. Our Word is our weapon and never lose sight of that. Without Scripture wrapped in our spirit, hidden in our heart, saturating our mind, and crucifying our flesh–we are doomed. In the natural, if we want to know more about something we read a book about it. If we want to know more about a person we read their autobiography. Why do we rush to read books that explain homeostasis to us? Books that give us an accurate breakdown of the economy? And even books containing pictures and stories about our past, trying to evaluate and validate our identity? Our entire existence is naturally hidden but spiritually revealed on each page of the Bible. Everything you need is in there, whether you are anticipating its truth or not.

I say all of this to say…..

Lord, saturate my mind. You know about every hair on my head. You know about every pore on my body. You know my days numbered on this earth. You know me. Why don’t I know You the way You know me? Why do I sometimes forget the words life You have given me to speak during moments of death? Why do I sometimes unsuccessfully seek for Scriptures of light because I can’t find my way through the discouragement of darkness? Enough. I have had enough. Oh Lord, saturate my mind.

 

Hebrews 4:12 (KJV): “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

Lord, Please Give Me New Friends

The topic of friendship has been on my mind a lot lately. I guess this idea has been heavy on my mind because being abroad, away from the fellowship familiar to me back in America, I have started to experience some loneliness. Friends have never really mattered too much to me because it almost seemed as though I always had friends; like they found me before I even got a chance to find them. I will admit, however, that these individuals were more so associates and furthermore, only individuals who indulged in the same sin as I had. After salvation I knew that this needed to change because just as we have friends in the world, we too need new friends in the Kingdom, essentially called the Body of Christ.

So like mentioned before, I often had many friends, or associates rather. Although I wasn’t extremely close to all of them, I was often referred to as one of the popular kids, which is one of the reasons why it was difficult for me to adjust when God told me to let these relationships go. God showed me two important things (probably even more) during this separation. The first thing is that these friendships were a form of idolatry in my life. When God began to tell me to disconnect from old friends I began to wonder if people would think that after being saved that I began to think that I was better than them. I began to worry about if I would ever gain a new solid friendship with others. God quickly reminded me that He is the very best friend. James 4:8 (KJV): “⁸Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.” Sidenote: Since being saved God has also placed on my heart His stance on a best friend. Having a best friend usually denotes having a friendship with someone who you refuse to allow anything to come between, someone who you spend tons of time with, and someone who knows your deepest and darkest secrets. God began to show me that He should be all of that and if He isn’t, our best friend for life is nothing more than idolatry. Exodus 20:5 (KJV): “Thou shalt not bow thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.” At one point I told God that if He takes all of my friends away, please don’t that this one specific friend away. I now realize that God probably didn’t like that too much; me willing to put an idolatrous friendship before His will. We must make sure all of our friendships are righteous and fruitful.

The second thing the Lord began to show me was how I must come out and be separate. 2 Corinthians 6:17 (KJV): “Therefore “Come out from among them. And be separate, says the Lord.Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you.” I knew for sure that people would REALLY think that I thought that I was better than them if I told them that verse. The only thing that brought me comfort during that time is the fact that the Lord assured me that if anything, me coming away from old friends and ultimately old sins, has potential of pricking the hearts of sinners, convicting them until they too want to seek salvation. Even after knowing that I tried to plead with God, begging Him to allow me to hang around old friends since I no longer desire to indulge in old sins. You know the response I got? 1 Corinthians 15:33 (KJV): “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” Even after reading this I tried to hang out, trying to dwell among sinners while still a weak babe in Christ myself. Of course sometimes God will use us to minister to sinners but God had to break all ties before He could use me in that way. Going out to get dinner started off as just spending time with old friends (although I decided to live life differently), and ended up bringing me closer to relapsing in sin. Hearing curse words, being in the midst of lustful conversations, and smelling the scent of alcohol and marijuana was too much for me to handle as it began to make me numb to sin. The decision I had to make was if I would keep these friends and lose God or keep God and lose old friends. I chose to keep God and lose old friends. Proverbs 13:20 (KJV): “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

After all of this I spent a lot of time alone and I enjoyed it. I was the only child for many years and even now, I cherish my moments of solitude. In addition to me getting closer to Christ, being alone helped me become more independent and efficient with my time management. It didn’t take long though for me to become curious about the rest of the members of the Body of Christ. Right before I left for Europe God led me to write an email to a woman and share my testimony with her. I had only viewed articles on her blog and I will admit, I was inspired and encouraged after reading her posts but I had no intention of contacting her. I thought this lady would think that I was a weirdo, randomly emailing her. But it was about 4 am one morning and I was unable to sleep. When I asked God to allow me to sleep all I had a mind to do was email this woman and so I did. I emailed her, writing everything God put on my heart and I sent it and guess what? I was able to sleep! In summary, that was the beginning of an encouraging friendship in the Lord. Although our communication up to this point has been merely electronic, God has used each of us in a unique way. We are at two different places in our walks with Him and for that very reason we are able to offer different, but still righteous, perspectives. I am so glad that I took heed to the leading of the Holy Spirit because I feel like I have truly gained a new Sister in Christ and it was at a perfect time because I was worried about finding fellowship here in Europe. Proverbs 27:17 (KJV): “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” God was beginning to show me that He can and desires to put us in contact with the body of Christ in ways that we think would never be effective. When will we realize that His ways aren’t like our ways and that His thoughts aren’t like our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9)?

So now that I am here in Denmark, I have been finding myself truly wanting fellowship with other members of the Body of Christ. Proverbs 11:14 (KJV): “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” In a country where many are non believers, I spend a lot of time sharing the Gospel. I certainly don’t mind introducing the Gospel but I desperately want to be able to converse with other believers about the Gospel as well. I have never realized how tiring it can sometimes be as we carry our cross and witness to the masses. I miss the refreshing feeling of when fellow believers fellowship together, encourage, inspire, and even help to correct the paths of other members. The love shared within the Body of Christ is what I mean. John 15:12-15 (KJV): “¹² This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.¹³Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.¹⁴Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.¹⁵Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.”

I know of two things that can come out of this time of feeling lonely. My dependency is building on the Father and I am recognizing more clearly what it is to be a member of the Body of Christ. Colossians 3:12 (KJV): “¹²Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;¹³Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.¹⁴And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.” As I mentioned to my mother-in-Christ early last week, the fellowship shared between the body of Christ shouldn’t only be on Sundays. I want to fellowship and spend time when it works with our schedule because we enjoy it, not because it is a chore. Having dinner together, studying the Word together, and participating in different events. The other day my host mom ( I am staying with a host family here in Europe) told me that although I don’t drink, there is nothing wrong with me going to a bar and hanging out. Although going to a bar might feel neutral to some, sitting in a bar is not even a bit interesting to me. The only way I want to go into a bar is if I am on a mission for the Kingdom and Christ is with me.

There is something righteous in friendships shared within the Body of Christ as there are many examples in the Bible. 1 Samuel 18: 1-3 (KJV): “¹And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.²And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father’s house.³Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.” This is the type of friendship I want. Proverbs 17:17 (KJV): “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Although it was difficult breaking away from old friendships, I knew that it needed to be done. God reminded me not to worry about old friends as He reminds me that I only need to make sure that I am obedient to Him. Proverbs 12:26 (KJV): “The righteous is more excellent than his neighbour: but the way of the wicked seduceth them.” I want to build lasting relationships with the Body of Christ. Anyone else with me?

Dear God

Dear God,

It feels like it has been a long time since we last talked. I mean I know You are always talking to me but sometimes I am not in a position to hear You. And I know I always try to talk to You but I somehow always become distracted. I know I have been saying that I would spend time in prayer with You more often for most of my life but please give me a mind to. Please give me supernatural wisdom, knowledge, truth, and understanding so that I will desperately pray at Your feet each time I get a chance. You have shown me how wonderful and magnificent Your presence is, so why do I seek that fulfillment in everything but intimate time with You? Foolish of me, I know but I thank You for being patient with me. I really want to keep the intimacy we share and furthermore, I am ready to enhance that intimacy but there are a few problems, can we address the biggest? See God, I am sure that You already know this but there are some breaches in my spiritual wall that needs to be filled as I continue to do work for the Kingdom. This struggle with the spirit of rejection has to go. These past few weeks have been hard and these past few days have been even harder. Just when I thought my little heart was being fixed, it has started to feel like it is shattering into pieces again. I don’t want to find comfort in past sinful habits and I don’t want try coping with this rejection by being rebellious like I have in the past. Why does this have to hurt so badly God? Why am I always reminded, almost like I am being teased? Does the whole world know that I am suffering from rejection? It sure does feel like it sometimes. You know, the very comments that make me feel rejected are the same comments that chase me down the most. You must be trying to heal me. Things can’t be like this for the rest of my life, I mean, You came to give me life not misery. Oh, and God, why am I being ridiculed for preaching the Gospel? Yea, I know they persecuted Jesus but sheesh, I just want to preach Your message. The comments of being lame, a weirdo, and crazy are kind of starting to hurt now. And the people I was once friends with who no longer speak to me after speaking Your truth, yea, their mocking kind of hurts too. I suppose this is making me stronger but I sure have cried a lot these past few weeks. Does that make me weak? Of course not, I almost forgot that Jesus wept. Please watch over my parents and my siblings God, biological and in-Christ alike. I miss them so much. I know they miss me too but remind them that You only need me in Europe for a little while. Please keep them in Your hand from all hurt, harm and danger. Also God, please help the rest of my family find salvation. Please save those who need to be saved and keep those who need to be kept. I sometimes become so consumed with feelings of rejection. Trying to be mindful that I can’t possibly forget of all of the love You have given me. I haven’t forgotten the nights I spent at Your feet laughing, crying, and just venting. Remember the time when I was stretched out on the floor begging for You to take all of my burdens and in the midst of it all I jumped up singing songs of praise? It felt like You had a golden pitcher full of honey, which came straight from Heaven as You poured each ounce of honey into my empty heart. The chambers of my heart were so cold and vacant that I almost didn’t know how to react when the warmth of the honey thawed out the frozen muscles surrounding my aorta. Remember when my heart began to beat during its broken stages? Yea, I will never forget that day either. I didn’t know hurt could go that deep but more importantly, I didn’t know that Your healing could go even deeper. See, during moments like these I have to reflect on my quiet times with You and seek to make more. I didn’t even ask You for the love shared between Calev and I but You must have been making love matches in Heaven and for that I thank you. Just when I thought that You weren’t doing anything you reminded me that You are always doing something. I want to know You more God. You are the most amazing, interesting, and divine being that I have ever encountered. Some question if You are real but I no longer question, I just thank You for being real. You are the only realistic truth that extends beyond the falsehood of fantasy. You are really amazing and today I had a moment when I wanted to rush home and talk with You. You are such a great listener but You are an even better speaker. You know, I am so glad that You aren’t selfish. I don’t always hold up my end of the deal with things but I become inspired when I see You always prompt and ready for our dates. You’ve never let me down. What did I do to deserve all of this love? Wait, really? Nothing? The world doesn’t work like that God. Is someone paying You under the table? Right, Right, You are a righteous and upright God and You are love in every sense of the word. How could I forget that I love You because You first loved me? But you also said that those who love You will keep Your commandments. Please help me keep that in mind when I am tempted to do something sexually immoral, listen to secular music, break laws, and be mischievous. Help my love for You to outshine my flesh’s love to sin. Well, I guess this is all for now God. I simply wanted to write You this letter because this is one of the best ways that I know how to express myself. My sin is enough for You not to read it but the redemption I receive from the blood of Christ is another reason for You to read it, so thanks again. Can you give me a new heart God? Can you give me the faith to heal the sick and the courage to cast demons out of the captive? Yea, I believe in miracles God. Honestly, I think that You are about to do some of Your best work yet. Can you use me? I know I complain a lot and I am working on that but I really do want to fight in Your army God. I can see us now, the body of Christ punching Satan from the left as You follow up and knock him out from the right. You have such a sense of humor, why didn’t I know that before? Yea, probably because I wasn’t taking the time to talk to You. You know everything about me, even the number of hairs on my head, why don’t I know what You said in the second chapter, third verse in the book of Matthew?? Thanks for the conviction Holy Spirit, You’re right, I should must spend more time in the Word of God. His Word is what renews my soul and spirit and even body is You ask me. I want to tell You that I love You God, although I should say it more. Will you forgive me for being inconsistent in prayer, shaky in my faith, and lukewarm in my committment? I am getting better I know but I want to get the best, not just better, if that makes sense. Well, Your thoughts are as the Heavens are higher than the earth so I am sure You get my point none-the-less. Give me a mind to change God. Please search me and see if there be some wicked way in me. No more shattered faith. No more fearful nights. No more scattered days. No more doubtful evenings. No more lonely winters. No more sin filled summers. Just me and You, growing as each day is sweeter than the last.

As I write this letter I renounce all authority I have given spirits of rejection, anger, hatred, fear, sexual immorality, alcoholism, smoking, destruction, doubt, and selfishness. You know the rest but thanks for at least letting me know these ones. I pray to become even closer to You. I pray to be set free from bondage through You. I pray to serve You with every fiber of my being.

Hey God, I yearn to meet with You in the secret place, forever.

Love,

Your daughter.

Comfy Cozy

Do any of you think that your photo could be on this poster? Exclaiming that you don’t hate sin but too ashamed to show all of your face because you call yourself a man or woman of God? I think many of us have a sin that we know we should be addressing aggressively but instead we find ourselves kind of shrugging it off because ….we can be around sin and not partake in it right?

Wrong.

2 Corinthians 2:14-16 (NIV): ” ¹⁴ But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. ¹⁵ For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. ¹⁶To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task?”

I want to take time to examine how God views sin and how we as His servants should also view sin.

John 3:36 (KJV): “He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; and he who does not believe the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.”

Apparently God doesn’t take sin lightly if He warns us of His wrath because of it. A stench coming from sin consumes the aroma of the world because many of us have forgotten who God is and have ineffectively shared His Gospel. There is a clear distinction between the consequences the righteous and unrighteous will experience. We all often focus on Heaven but try to overlook Hell. We often give praise for “good” deeds but try to water down wicked ones. The picture below is an accurate description of how the world looks at sin. The picture is actually associated with homosexuality and the world’s attempt to make the wicked become acceptable. I think homosexuality is a great example for this article because it is a hot topic right now. Are you comfortable with homosexuality? Leviticus 18:22(NIV): “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.” When seeing or spending time with homosexuals are you praying and interceding on their behalf so that they may be set free or are you encouraging them and pumping them up to think that they are the most fashionable?

As Christians we need to be uncomfortable with sin. Regardless of the sin, we need to feel some sense of discomfort. Why? Because this is stated in Psalm 11:5-7(KJV): ” ⁵The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth.⁶Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and a horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup.⁷For the righteous LORD loveth righteousness; his countenance doth behold the upright.” As God’s people, how can we mingle with sinners without concern for their souls? Not some phony concern but a concern that encourages us to cry out on their behalf.

Quick story. One day I was with a group of people who I was once really close with. One of the individuals began to curse and I cringed. I was so surprised because I had never been offended by cursing before. For most of my life I had a potty mouth; cursing like a sailor not because I wanted to be a rebel but because it felt so natural and normal to me. So here I was, after salvation feeling uncomfortable by the very words I once coined to be my own personal favorite. Who shall I give thanks to? God of course. It was then that I noticed that I was gaining the same perspective that God had concerning sin. I would sometimes have the, “Well it is sin but I am not the one committing it” perspective. But guess what? God never committed a sin and He is still angered by sin. See the comparison? As His children, as His servants, as His light of the world are we seriously and aggressively addressing sin? We cannot hate sin and watch reality shows that openly encourages homosexuality, fornication, blasphemy etc. That is hypocritical as we are intentionally taking part in wickedness and indirectly conditioning ourselves to be okay with sin.

Isaiah 52:11(NIV): “Depart, depart, go out from there! Touch no unclean thing! Come out from it and be pure, you who carry the vessels of the Lord.” 

I am not suggesting that we should go around acting holier than thou and making rude remarks to sinners. However, we certainly should be clearly set apart from the sins they commit. Even the sins that we still commit and are honestly asking to be delivered from, we should distinctively be identified as wanting to be free. A sinner and a Christian’s struggle with sin should be different. While a sinner indulges in sin, a Christian should be fasting,praying, and begging the Lord to set us free. A sinner cannot take us seriously if we sit in bars with them knocking back beers, getting as much contact as possible from the marijuana in the air, and finding enjoyment in viewing soft porn.

As with all of my articles, I write this message first to myself. Individuals, especially sinners, are always looking at Christians to see what exactly makes followers of Christ different. If Christians partake in the same things as sinners, “What really makes Christianity special,” is what someone may ask. We need to gain the same disgust and hatred for sin. This doesn’t mean we should go around trying to kill sinners but with Christ as our example, we need to always act in love. Don’t become confused with the world’s definition of love because the love of Christ chastises so that sinners may come to repent. Hebrews 12:6 (KJV): “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.”  Not wanting to step on the toes of sinners is not loving, it is transgressing against God. Galatians 6:1(NIV): “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” How can we uplift the weak if we are in the strip club hitting the same blunt as they are?

Luke 23:34(NIV): “Jesus said,” Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.” We need to have the heart and mind of Jesus. Jesus is gentle, Jesus is kind, and Jesus is compassionate but He never overlooked sin. Actually, it was His ability to be loving while still addressing transgression that makes Him so unique. While the Bible encourages us to care about the soul of the sinner but to hate the sin, the world tells us to accept and love all aspects, sin included. I cannot speak for anyone else but after reading the Bible I have a clear understanding that Jesus set the desperate free and casted out demons along the way. When we recognize sin we ought to run away from it, pleading with Jesus to set us free and others. We need to love the things that God loves and hate the things that He hates. Forget what we have been so comfortable with, if God hates it, it needs to then become our enemy. Don’t be comfortable with sin! Find sin as repulsive and offensive as God does!

Taking Blows For Jesus!

If you are willing to be a solider in the army of Christ, expect to get beaten up by Satan. But with that, also expect full recovery; if not on earth then certainly in Heaven. Luke 9:23 (NIV): “Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.“ While we are called to pick up our cross, we are never told that the cross wouldn’t hit us in the head, fall on our toes, or that we wouldn’t find it chaffing against our skin. But when the Lord tells us to deny ourselves, we are in some sense prepared to be bruised. Denying ourselves will cause us to get stronger as we pick up our cross even after it smashes our toes, gain tougher skin after the chaffing, and become wiser in the way we hold it after it hits us in the head. Self would say, “My head hurts. My feet hurt. I am tired. My skin burns. God can you give me something else to hold? Like an unlit candle?” My point is that when doing the will of God, carrying our cross, be mindful that Satan will try to use that cross to anger or discourage us to the point where we want to drop it.

This past weekend I went on an academic trip to Western Denmark as a requirement for my major course. I almost didn’t go as earlier last week I was diagnosed with having a respiratory infection. I had no idea I even had an infection until I noticed one of my lymph nodes had swollen up to the size of a marble and was beginning to protrude from my neck. I was creeped out, I will admit. But after gathering myself I was able to give God praise for it being an infection that could be treated with antibiotics within a week.     I missed two days of school but I knew it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to miss the trip to Western Denmark. I felt like God would give me the strength to do all that I needed to do, so I went.

The first day in Ribe, Denmark was pretty cool. They had amazing architecture and tasty traditional Danish meals. Our first academic stop was visiting a school for troubled teens. Teens who had experienced everything you could imagine but who somehow became resilient students through the program offered at the school. There were about 10 students who my class and I was given the opportunity to converse with for about 3 hours. As I listened to each of them share their story, one girl who I will call Joy, caught my attention. She poured out her heart about how she had been diagnosed with anxiety and how she has been told by many psychologists that she has an extreme case of sociofobia that she will only be able to cope with, but never fully overcome. She continued to talk but the last thing that she said which kept replaying in my mind was, “I am getting better with my social skills because I don’t know if I can ever fully be free.” From that moment I kept saying to myself, “Yes you can be free, and I am a witness.” There were 4 teens in our group but as they went around introducing themselves I felt something special regarding Joy. I felt so much compassion as she forced herself to engage in conversation. I watched as she desperately wanted to look at her new American friends in the eye but could only find comfort in gazing at the ceiling. The more she talked, the more red her throat became. This may sound crazy but as she fought against her demonic oppression, the heavier the red prints showed around her neck as if someone was choking her. There were red marks on the right and left of her neck that looked like stripes, or fingers. It was then that I knew this was a spiritual mission. I took a step back to see all of Joy. She was dressed in black from head to toe as she wore several layers to protect her body from the cold that crept through the holes in her clothing. I said a prayer to God telling Him that if He wanted me to do or say anything to Joy about Him, I knew He would create the opportunity.

After our group was dismissed I looked up to go talk with Joy but she disappeared. I thought maybe I was wrong about talking to her so I went to the restroom before our next activity started. To my surprise, when I got back to the classroom Joy was back inside, alone in the corner and I knew that was an opportunity presented by God. I went over to Joy to talk with her, nervous and hoping that she wouldn’t think I was a weirdo. I felt a tight clinching in my stomach as I usually do when I am about to do something that damages Satan’s kingdom so I walked over faster. I began to tell Joy how proud I was that she was willing to take necessary steps that would help her overcome her sociofobia. I looked at her and the demons that recognized the presence of God became extremely nervous and went to hide so immediately, instead of seeing the demons, I saw Joy. For those who don’t understand, ask God for understanding. I didn’t see demons in the flesh but the discernment that only comes from God allowed me to see the many demons manifesting in Joy as they plotted her destruction. Joy and I continued to talk and I began to share some of my testimony with her. Joy stated that she did not have a religion but that she was still open to listening to me tell her about Jesus. Regardless of how much of my testimony she received, I know the part about anxiety is what she held on to. Long story short, I was at one point diagnosed with anxiety. I didn’t REALLY have anxiety but demons were trying to play tricks on my mind so I knew all too well what Joy was referring to. The difference is that I was saved and I immediately prayed that my mind be set free while Joy was convinced that this was an inevitable part of her life. I only had anxiety for a week; I couldn’t imagine Joy suffering from it for years. I told her that she can be set free from all oppression and more importantly, that Christ WANTS to set her free. I continued to tell her how the love of Christ surpasses all understanding and how He has changed my life. Sharing with Joy the love of Christ and how He yearns to fill her with His love and glory, Joy smiled for the first time since we met, 5 hours before. I knew then that a seed was planted. I offered to give Joy my email address as she doesn’t have many friends and is terribly afraid of being social with others. I wrote my email on paper and she grabbed the paper so quickly and almost ran to put it in her purse. It wasn’t her words that showed me I did what God wanted me to do but her actions.

Later that night my class and I had gone to a Chinese restaurant to get dinner. While the rest of the students decided on what they wanted to eat I had gone to the restroom. The last thing I remember was going down the restaurant’s steep steps and holding onto the wall. Before I knew it I was on the ground trying to remember what happened. After recognizing that my head and back were hurting, I concluded that I had fallen. Although it felt like seconds, friends said I had been gone for a while leading me to believe that I may have blacked out for a while. The ambulance was called and I was rushed to the hospital. In the ambulance I spent time praying to God in the midst of machines beeping because of their inability to read my vitals and a paramedic repeatedly asking me to try to move my limbs. For some time I couldn’t move my legs or my arms and after having a moment of spazzing, I began to ask God for faith, trust, and relaxation and He gave it to me. I was rushed to the hospital to be checked for a brain hemorrhage and within the first few minutes I was asked to sign my name on a document. I cried when I went to write my name but couldn’t because I had forgotten how to write letters. I was able to write the first two letters of my name but even those two letters were overlapped like a toddler learning how to write their name for the very first time. I knew in my mind how to spell my name but my brain wasn’t effectively communicating with the rest of my body, or that’s what I think. I began to cry harder, asking the doctor to allow me to call my biological parents and parents-in-Christ. I was wondering how I would finish school and if I would have memory loss for the rest of my life. Talking with the teacher who accompanied me was a struggle as I would forget what I was saying in mid-conversation. I was now suffering from a respiratory infection and a concussion after only being in Europe for about 3 weeks. Who said a wilderness experience would be all flowers and candy?

I was praying and talking to God alone but I remembered that my teacher was in the room with me so I started sharing the Gospel with her. I found it interesting that although I had forgotten some stuff, I didn’t forget a bit of the Gospel. My first comment about the goodness of the Lord started an hour and a half long conversation about Him. I shared my testimony, even the most personal. Why? Because God put it on my heart. Some parts of my testimony that I am usually ashamed to share flew out of my mouth as the Holy Spirit put it on my heart to say and I know me not having my usual filter played a part in that. I am not sure how much of what I was saying was received by my teacher but she appeared to have been engaged the entire time, asking questions and smiling along with me. I usually talk with my hands and I was thrilled to recognize that although I had a difficult time moving my limbs hours ago, I was then moving them freely as I talked about my Groom. I was so excited and I sat up, stating how God was giving me my mind back. The doctor came back inside and to his surprise, aside from my headache– my eyes were now focusing correctly, I was able to move, my ears were adjusting and guess what? I was able to write my name, decently and in order. I jumped out of the hospital bed excited by the goodness of the Lord and as my teacher and I went to the office to handle insurance matters, we were informed that all of my medical bills had been covered. We insisted that they hadn’t been but the hospital assured us that they had and I was released to go home. *My European insurance has been delayed and is about two weeks late. With that, I would have had to pay for that visit out-of-pocket. Thank You God.

How does this relate to taking blows for Jesus? Well the time I spent on the floor after the fall and the time I spent in the hospital bed I kept thinking about Joy and how the Lord had used me. It was in a sense Satan’s way of trying to scare me from helping others and ultimately his way of trying to get “back at me.” Sure, not everything bad that happens comes from Satan but in this situation, he was trying to wound a solider. As I walked home yesterday from the bus I told God that regardless of my sore throat, regardless of the pressure from the infection in my chest, regardless of the swelling of my skull, regardless of the pain in my head from post-concussion syndrome, and regardless of feeling lonely during these hardships, I will fight in His army. I will willfully take blows for the Kingdom as my Lord is with me. My concussion was worth every bit of me sharing the Gospel with Joy and my teacher. The blood of Jesus always prevails on our behalf so even if I am wounded, I am trusting in Him and that His breath will cleanse and bandage every cut and bruise.  Put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and keep on throwing grenades in the enemy’s camp.

What Time Does Church Start?

“What church do you attend?”

That is the most commonly asked question I receive after talking with someone about the Lord. I thought that was interesting because since I have been saved, I haven’t asked anyone what church they attended. But the real interesting part is that individuals don’t believe me when I tell them that I currently do not belong to a church. Actually, I have had people look at me like I was crazy and immediately give me a card with their church’s information on it. I began to feel like when I tell people that I didn’t belong to a church they begin to question my salvation. Why can’t someone be Christian and not identify with misconceptions produced by religion? Why is that so hard to believe? I have no idea. But I feel like religion has something to do with it.

To make things clear, I have absolutely no opposition to having a church home. Actually, when I first got saved I did a lot of church searching, hoping to find the anointed southern church that I had always imagined I would attend. During the process of trying to find a church that seemed best for me I had been lied to, encouraged to believe false doctrine, and bombarded with religious beliefs. And I still to this day can’t understand why everybody always tried to lay hands on me. You know, those crazy religious beliefs that crowd you with a bunch of rules and regulations that is not supported by the Word of God. John the Baptist reminds us that although he baptized individuals with water for repentance, Jesus was coming to baptize us with the Holy Spirit and with fire (Matthew 3:11). I began to become very confused, wondering why no one could teach the Truth. There I was, a babe in Christ desperately wanting to have other believers to fellowship with and all I came in contact with were perverts, liars, and witches. Yes, there are witches in the church. Not the Church but the church.

After a while I decided to have Bible study on Sundays just to continue the studying of Scripture I did during the week. I began to notice that I was spiritually fed more through my personal time with God for at least an hour than I did from being in church for about 3 hours. I knew something wasn’t right so I told God that if He wanted me in a church, then I will allow Him to lead me there. Don’t get me wrong, there is no perfect church and although I believe we are sometimes called to eat the meat and throw away the bones, I don’t believe spending hours trying to filter false doctrine is one of them. I had visited a few campus ministries and while the sermons where trying to accommodate the diverse religions of the student body, I was frustrated with trying to decipher which part of the sermon was for me, the muslims, the religious, or for the scientologists.

I suppose many are confused about me not attending a church because we have been so brainwashed with seeking man to be the bridge between us and God. I can’t speak for anyone else but the only bridge I need between me and God is Jesus. A pastor ordained by God will reinforce and confirm personal teachings that first come from God. God may even introduce knowledge and conviction through His people to plant the seed as He prepares us for the moment when He brings it to us personally. That often reminds me of people I have known who did everything they could to converse with the most popular prophets who would visit the city. I couldn’t understand how people would run all around, spend a bunch of money, and create unrealistic expectations when wanting to hear a word from God. How is it that every prophet you see tells you about the favorable but doesn’t mention trials and tribulations? My God tells me about both Paradise and Hell and if someone else who claims to be anointed by Him can’t offer the Truth, stay away. But furthermore, I always tell people that if God wants to speak to me through someone else, God certainly knows how to make the paths of His children cross. So why would I try to squeeze beautiful lies out of false prophets? Test the spirit by the Spirit. Everything and everybody that claims to be Godly isn’t.

I will admit, some of the fault is on the Body of Christ. The light that Christ yearns to shine through us will set us apart from religion and false doctrine. Sinners and even other saints will be able to fellowship with believers as they will be drawn not to us, but to the Spirit of God that dwells within us. We need to step up. How is it that as a babe in Christ I couldn’t find a church preaching the truth in the middle of Atlanta? As big and diverse as that city is. I just thank God for protecting me from false doctrine. But what about individuals who do not yet recognize the voice of God? Too many individuals are swept into the lies pushed by Satan and my mother was one of them. God is at this very moment renewing her mind from being soaked in the poison introduced to her by Jehovah’s Witnesses. What a mighty God we serve! I had no idea how to help her understand that Jehovah’s Witnesses are a cult but God knew how to reach her. But up to this point in her life, she hadn’t come in contact with a church that what truly seeking the heart and face of God so what standard did she have?

Fortunately, there is currently a church that I have been following: Omega Ministries. Some people have asked me how they can really know if they are in the right church or if they are reading the true word of God. The best advice I can give to anyone is to first have that personal and intimate relationship with God. If you know God, He will bear witness regarding what is Him. I used an example when I was talking with my host mom yesterday. If I was an author and I had written a book but an individual had suspicion that someone was interpreting my book wrong, was tampering with my verbiage, or was misleading my children, all that individual would have to do is call or email me. It would be a pleasure for me to respond by letting that individual know either yes, the fruit of my book is being presented righteously OR that the pages of my book were being perverted by others.

Matthew 7:11(NIV): “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!”

With the same emphasis shared on being a follower of Christ rather than being a follower of a denomination, we too should focus on our personal relationship with Christ rather than allowing a building to be our idol. Every church does not have the Spirit of God resting there. Everyone who claims to be a pastor isn’t going to Heaven. The loudest person running through the aisles isn’t always the most grateful. The large audience of a mega church isn’t evidence that they preach the Gospel. Satan is the god of this world and he is capable of providing his people with wealth. And everyone who claims to have spiritual gifts did not receive them from the one true living God. Aside from Sunday, what fruit are you producing from Monday to Saturday? Don’t allow the person who volunteers to help teach Sunday school and Wednesday prayer to fool you into thinking they are holier than thou. Do you feel good every time you leave church? That is a red flag within itself because the Holy Spirit won’t always make you feel good. If you aren’t living righteously expect the Holy Spirit to convict and discipline you as the Lord disciplines those who He loves (Hebrews 12:6). You aren’t clapping your hands for a pastor who is allowing a Torah to be wrapped around him are you?

We shouldn’t get too caught up with church in the sense of it being the only place where God is. My sentiments are similar to the article I had written, One in Christ. God said that when two or more are gathered in His name He will be there (Matthew 18:20). We are the Church. Christ isn’t coming back for a ton of bricks on a corner, He is coming back for His bride. As I continue to spend my personal time with God I am open to the fact that He may one day lead me to attend a church to fellowship with other believers. Sometimes God will have us in a place for a season then He will move us on. Even going to a church where God really does dwell, we still cannot gain eternal salvation through the faith of our pastor, his wife, or their children. If we want a chance for God to say, “Well done my good and faithful servant (Matthew 25:23),” we need to know Him for ourselves. Once we begin building our relationship with God and spending fervent time fasting, praying, and reading His word, He can then lead us to fellowship with other believers and witness to sinners. If the hierarchy isn’t right, the building on the corner with a wooden cross as tall as the tower of babel will sadly become our idol.

Let loose of religion and tightly grasp onto the Gospel that comes directly from the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. The moment when I open my Bible and ask God to open my eyes, ears, and heart so that I may receive Him.. is when church starts for me.

How Can You Speak In Tongues And Not Speak To Your Neighbor?

1 John 4:20-21(NIV): “²⁰ Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. ²¹ And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” 

We must be sure that as disciples of Christ that we are doing our duty to be Christ-like. This duty includes being loving, compassionate, and long-suffering towards others. Too often do we proclaim to be ambassadors of Christ but fail to be active listeners and sympathetic toward our brothers and sisters-in-Christ and more importantly, sinners. Remember, Christ came back for sinners not for the righteous (Mark 2:17).

1 Corinthians 13:1(NIV): “¹ If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

There is a female who attends my home college who has for the past 3 years been viewed as one of the most serious Christ followers in our female population. As a new believer I didn’t necessarily wear a I serve Jesus sign on my shirt but if my relationship with Him came up, I was more than happy to share the story of how I gained salvation. This female and I would constantly bump into each other so one day I decided to say hello to her. To my surprise she walked right by me, as if I wasn’t even there. I didn’t think much of it until it was a constant pattern–me taking an initiative to say hello and her looking down or away trying to avoid saying hello back. About a month later we happened to both be at a Christian event on campus. She made a comment along the lines that she didn’t know that I was believer. I couldn’t help but think about how fake I thought she was. And yes, since that day she rushes to greet me. But why did I have to be a believer for her to speak to me? What if I was still a sinner desperately in need of hearing the Gospel?

Hebrews 13:2(NIV): “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”

Christian cliques formed around only believers are not Christ-like. Cliques stunt spiritual growth and furthermore ignore the purpose of the Kingdom’s business. As servants of God we are supposed to be the light of the world and the salt that preserves the earth but we cannot reach our full potential if we are not effectively engaging in healthy and Godly relationships with others. A pure and genuine relationship with our neighbors must be founded in love. 1 Corinthians 13:4(NIV):“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” The Bible gives us specific instructions about how to be Christ-like and the characteristics we ought to aspire to obtain.

While I usually speak to people who are close enough to hear me, God showed me something else about myself. He showed me that as many people as I talked with, that I sometimes didn’t mention Him at all. I mean for Him to be my Everything, He ought to come up at least every now and again, right? Basically God was telling me that there shouldn’t be a question whether I serve Him as my actions and conversation ought to be a reflection of Him. The next thing God led me to think about was how had I received wisdom yet didn’t seek to share it with others? Why wasn’t I sharing what I knew? So from that day I decided to go forth and spread the Gospel.

My freshman year in college there was a cafeteria worker who stood out to me. She appeared to have maybe gone through some rough circumstances but regardless always appeared so peaceful when I saw her. At my school at least, we don’t spend too much time interacting with workers who aren’t professors. I couldn’t figure out why I kept feeling led to talk with her but then unsaved, I brushed the idea off and forgot about it. The end of freshman year I felt led to give this cafeteria worker some cards with Scriptures on them that had been passed down to me from my Grandmother after she died from breast cancer. I kept telling myself that I would give the lady the cards but before I knew it, the semester was over and the lady was gone. I wasn’t saved so I didn’t care too much. I even began to question if I was just having one of my “caught up in my feelings” moments. I didn’t see the woman again until the first semester of my junior year. To make a long story short, I somehow sparked a conversation up with this lady only for her to tell me that she didn’t remember me. As we continued to talk she told me about some issues she had been experiencing so I decided to print out some of these articles for her. I hadn’t told her I was the author for a while until she began to ask where she could get more articles. I didn’t mention being the author because I know that isn’t important but once I told her, that opened the door for us to talk about Christianity more. The woman thought I was merely finding stuff online and giving it to her, which caused her to not really engage in conversation about specific issues she was facing. After that moment we would meet each day in the cafeteria and talk about God. She would come over to me, acting like she was cleaning my table as I shared Scriptures with her. I would print articles as often as I could and gave them to her so that she could read them on the bus going home or during her lunch break. And I prayed with her for her and her family whenever her supervisor was away busy doing something. I wasn’t taking her from her work but she didn’t want to appear to be doing nothing. Before I knew it she would be waiting for me at dinner time, excited to talk about the goodness of the Lord. It was an amazing feeling to be able to be used by God as only a 20-year-old for a woman is well in her 40s. Before I knew it her supervisor was coming up to me stating that she wanted what I had; that she wanted salvation. Her supervisor said that she isn’t a part of a church so she is unable to receive salvation and I told her that when she was ready, that we could pray right there in the cafeteria as Christ has no ordained place for us to accept Him as our Lord and Savior.

As the semester got closer to ending, prayer with this lady became a regular part of our lives. She even shared with me her most personal and difficult struggles as I would go home to pray for her and bring back Scriptures that God had put on my heart to share with her. And guess what? The last day of classes God reminded me to give her the cards with the Scriptures on them. I ran to my room and asked God to give me a mind to give her every verse that He knew she could receive. When I ran back downstairs to give her the cards she looked at me, trying to hold back tears and hugged me for what felt like 3 hours..although I am sure it was more like 1-2 mins. She was sharing her gratitude. There I was in the middle of the cafeteria, while students were trying to figure out what was going on, and I stood hugging a woman who had known Christ at a very young age but who had given up hope after being trampled by every sin you could think of. But the light of Christ that dwells within me was able to draw her nigh, leading her to come back to her Father. She went from referencing God as merely a memory to being active in church, reading her Bible regularly, praying, fasting, and seeking fellowship with other believers. All of this is so wonderful that it makes me wonder….what if I didn’t speak to my neighbor?

1 Corinthians 14:22-35 (NIV): “²² Tongues, then, are a sign, not for believers but for unbelievers; prophecy, however, is not for unbelievers but for believers. ²³ So if the whole church comes together and everyone speaks in tongues, and inquirers or unbelievers come in, will they not say that you are out of your mind? ²⁴ But if an unbeliever or an inquirer comes in while everyone is prophesying, they are convicted of sin and are brought under judgment by all, ²⁵ as the secrets of their hearts are laid bare. So they will fall down and worship God, exclaiming, “God is really among you!”

We cannot gain spiritual gifts and forget the true purpose of our existence. We are instructed to yield unto the Lord and to humble our flesh, ultimately becoming vessels and full property of the Lord. As vessels of Christ, we need to be examples. Someone is ALWAYS watching. To love the Lord is to love your brother.

Superwoman Syndrome

Luke 7: 36-50(NIV): Jesus Anointed by a Sinful Woman

 ³⁶ When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. ³⁷ A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. ³⁸ As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.³⁹ When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.” ⁴⁰ Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said.⁴¹ “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. ⁴² Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” ⁴³ Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. ⁴⁴ Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. ⁴⁵ You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. ⁴⁶ You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. ⁴⁷ Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” ⁴⁸ Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” ⁴⁹ The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” ⁵⁰ Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

How many of us hear stories like this one? Stories about women who eagerly desire to give up their all for Christ? From the very first time I read this passage about a year ago I noticed that the woman did not have a name. She was merely the woman who was known as a sinner. Obviously the emphasis what put on what she did rather than who she was. The next thing I noticed was how brave this woman was. Could you imagine entering the house of a Pharisee as a commonly known sinner? This woman had faith that led her to do the unthinkable even if it would cause her to lose her life. She doesn’t sound like a Superwoman to me; she sounds like a Proverbs 31 woman who desperately wants to be consumed by the power, love, and presence of her Lord.

Like I mentioned before, it isn’t often that we hear stories like this one. Our world is too consumed with the spirit of Jezebel. For those who aren’t familiar, Jezebel was a rebellious woman in the Bible who was very powerful and wicked. She married King Ahab and they together worshiped the false god, Baal. Jezebel was a witch and operated with a spirit of control as she indulged in covetousness, taking everything she or her husband desired, even if it meant shedding the blood of an innocent individual. While I think about women in the media during my life I think of Lil Kim and Nicki Minaj, as they are clear examples of the I will sexually seduce a man, make him my slave, destroy him, then dismiss him.  There are MANY more but just focusing on these two, do you think these two women know what it means to be the bride of the most high God? God doesn’t want a wild, rough neck, blasphemous wife. I know because I was once that type of individual. I would spot a guy, make up in my mind that he is the guy I wanted, get him until I was bored with him, then throw him back into the sea. And no, that isn’t being an independent woman living life freely, it is being a whore.

I am currently enrolled in a woman’s art and identity course. Trust me, I am not in the class because I think that kind of stuff is interesting but because my college requires us to take a women’s studies course. In summary, I think the class is really weird. I guess I really dislike the class because of the spiritual aspect of it. A year ago I might have been with the class, engaged as they pump their fists while they discuss the power of women, or the lack there of. But after receiving wisdom from God, I just sit in class and watch a spirit of Jezebel greet a spirit of lesbianism for an entire class period. We all know that woman experienced inequality and we know that God never means for us to be treated like dirt but lets not mask that as reasons for us to be man haters. Yes, woman was made after man and yes, there is much to say about that. Women have a specific role and I can guarantee that trying to be superior to a man isn’t one of them. How can we not respect and be righteously submissive to a man on earth and expect that we will be humble, gentle, yielding, and sensitive to God?

I can’t speak for anyone else but I love being a woman and I love and accept that I am not a man. In class, as we read articles written by feminist authors, I cringe as they constantly desire to be like men, if not more superior. Many wonder why men are unable to rise and be men while many women knowingly or unknowingly castrate men before they even get a chance to express their masculinity. A little less than a year ago I was in a relationship with a young man who I call Calev, but things were very difficult as I was still brainwashed with the whole, I am an independent Black woman mindset. Calev desperately wanted to be a man and wanted to provide for and protect me but all I could think about was graduating and coming out on top. When he wanted to talk I would sometimes brush him off stating that my academic work was more important that talking to him. When he suggested us living different places I immediately told him that I want to live in Georgia so if he doesn’t like Georgia then he needs to move on. I can give many more examples but my point is that the idea that I didn’t need anyone else, especially a man, was overtaking my mind. Of course school is important but who wants to be one of those women who makes 6  figures but comes home to spend her evenings in quiet, without a husband or children? All too often have I come across women who are physically attractive, who have a great sense of style, who are well-educated, and who can’t even identify with the term debt but hate their lives. They stand around giving speeches about how successful they are but dip and dodge mentioning the reality of how lonely they feel.

Mind you most of these women aren’t saved because there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. With Christ we are never lonely nor are we ever alone. Actually, we don’t have to speak about a woman being able to be with a man physically because frankly, every woman in the world won’t experience an earthly wedding but if she is the bride of Christ, then there will certainly be a spiritual wedding. Back to Calev, things are much different and healthier now. It is the small things that I appreciate like when he takes the initiative to pray first and when he takes responsibility to be the man God wants him to be. I have happily stepped down from wanting to always be first, heard the loudest, and heard most often. We aren’t dating anymore as there is nothing in the Bible that mentions dating but we are courting and in this process God has been showing me that I am no Superwoman. When the world tells us that we can do everything a man can do or better, it is a blatant lie. When I watch Calev seek the plan God has for his life, I see the things he does and how he does them in such a way that only a man can. With that, I also recognize the way I operate and how is it unique to womanhood. Men and women don’t complete but rather compliment each other. There is such beauty in allowing a man to be a man. The women in my family have been known to lead matriarchal households where they are the head and the men just kind of tag along. When we come to our Groom that must change because Christianity is patriarchal. I was raised to never need a man, if I get married to always have my personal stash of money and possessions aside from what my husband and I shared, and that a man should never come between me and my female friends. Does anyone else see how these “rules” set us up to be lesbians before we even know what a lesbian is? If God pairs us with a husband who is after His own heart why would we want to keep anything from him? Why would a grown woman be married but remain closer to a female friend than to her husband? I personally believe that once we reach a certain age that we innately want to  have our tightest earthly relationship with the opposite sex. I would be concerned if a woman shares her deepest and most personal sentiments with another woman when she should be sharing that intimacy with her husband. And if you are with someone who you feel like you can’t trust, then you shouldn’t be with them.

The Superwoman Syndrome conditions us at a very young age to believe that we should postpone marriage and children until we get our own piece of the American pie. If I collected a nickel for each time I heard the, “If a man cannot match you financially then he isn’t for you” phrase, I would be rich. I believe that you can marry a rich bum and that you can also marry a poor bum. Forget the money, I need a husband who is willing to fast and pray for me, not a man who finds comfort in the fact that he can commit adultery and make things better by upgrading my wedding band.

I know I always go back to Proverbs 31 but it is always relevant, just as every word of God is. Two weeks ago I was at the hair salon and my stylist began asking me about all that was new in my life. As usual, I started off by telling her my recent accomplishments in school and different career options I have been thinking about pursuing. After about 2 mins she cut me off and said, “Okay enough about business. You have always handled business and been on top of your school work. What about your love life?” I had to laugh because although I am in a courtship, I typically keep those details between me and close friends and family. I was so excited to tell her about all of the love God is giving me from all different directions and how I am just soaking it all up. Could you imagine that months ago I was brushing Calev off for a dollar? To be the most paid woman I know? To prove that I didn’t need a man for anything, other than to fix my car?

Somebody puhleaseee come get this Superwoman cape because there is no place for it here. I have a Groom whose Holy Spirit I need to be vulnerable to, a Groom who desires to protect me and provide for me, and a Groom who is so powerful and divine that I willingly want to be submissive to Him. Actually, now that I think about the goodness of the Lord and Him teaching me my role as His bride, no one needs to come get this Superwoman cape because I am throwing it out my front door. Who needs to be a Superwoman when God surpasses any and every idea of a Superman? Submit to the authority of our God so that we may overcome the spirit of Jezebel.

In Boiling Water

Hmhmm where do I start?

Okay, I will start with being honest. This first week in my wilderness experience feels like it is one of worst weeks of my life. I can’t even tell you why but after looking for every avenue possible for me to get back to America, I have become content with knowing that I am not going anywhere. Not because I said so, not because my parents said so, and not even because my study abroad program director said so… but because God said so.

I was mad at God every day of my first week here. I knew it was wrong but I knew He was the reason I am here and the reason why I ought to remain here. And to make matters worse, frustrating events would happen to make me even more angry. It was almost like Satan was sitting back, having a good laugh while I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off. After spending days late for each of my classes because I got lost in the middle of Europe, buying a pair of expensive gloves to keep my hands warm then losing them within 24 hours, trying to fill up on bread and water at dinner, getting shin splints from all of the walking we have been doing, and feeling unexplainable spiritual oppression…. I told God that I quit.

I wanted to quit writing on the blog, I wanted to end this wilderness experience, and I even possibly wanted to go back to my old way of doing things. I knew all of what I was saying was crazy but I was so mad that I couldn’t help but say it and hoping to mean it. I didn’t mean it but I did want my way. I began to think about Job and the way he talked to God about his conditions. I remember the first time I read Job and thought about how rude he was to God but guess what, I was being just as rude this week. Then I questioned, “Wait…God called Job His servant in Job 1:8 even when He knew how Job would talk to Him?” I am certainly no Job but if Job had his little, God just end things now moment then maybe it wasn’t so odd that I was finding myself at that same place. Interestingly enough, the week leading up to me leaving for Europe God led me to read Job. I always love when God tells Job about himself starting with, Job 38:1 (NIV) “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge?” I was praying that God would tell me off before I really thought or said something that I would truly regret. That is, if I haven’t already.

Lord knows regardless of how foolish I act I certainly would never want to lose my relationship with my Father, my Groom , my Everything. I was walking home the other day and this is what I told God: I hate being here. I hate getting lost. I hate being cold. I hate how boring my classes are. I hate having to walk everywhere. I hate experiencing jet lag. I hate majority of the food. I hate when people try talking to me when I just want to be alone. And I hate…. then I stopped with the next sentence. I can’t even remember what I was going to say next but what I did realize was that God didn’t respond at all. You know when you are having a conversation with someone and you say something then there is an awkward silence and then you wonder if you said the wrong thing? Yea, it was one of those and it humbled me. I immediately apologized and started again with: Thank you God for perfect health. Thank you God for allowing me to be in Europe. Thank you God for a sound mind. Thank you God for financial stability. Thank you God for legs to be able to walk. Thank you God for a coat, thermals, and boots to keep me warm from the cold. Thank you God for friends who wish to know me better. Thank you God for giving me a safe place to sleep. Thank you God for food and a digestive track that allows me to eat anything I wish. Thank you God for letting me know that man does not live on bread alone (Luke 4:4). And thank you God for giving me salvation. Whew! After that I began to feel more like myself. God still remained quiet but at least my last statements didn’t sound like I was being a selfish, spoiled, and foolish brat.

I was telling God to use me, cleanse me, and mold me so that I may fulfill the plan He has for me but in my heart I was saying, “No God I don’t want to. That isn’t what I want. I don’t think I can do that. Can I leave now? Yea, I know I said I was ready but I don’t think I can ever be ready for this. Yes, of course I love you but can I do Your will somewhere else?”

I woke up at 3 a.m. this morning wondering what my issue was. Like what is my problem!? I already told my dad that I want to leave and all he could offer me was encouragement. My selfish power card of getting what I want and when I want it has officially been revoked. Once I faced reality the only thing I could do was cry out to the Lord for answers. I knew He wanted me to write about what I am experiencing right now but I didn’t know where to begin until He put on my heart:

Luke 14:25-30(NIV): The Cost of Being a Disciple “²⁵ Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: ²⁶ “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. ²⁷ And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.²⁸ “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? ²⁹ For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, ³⁰ saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.”

Hmhmm… Maybe I haven’t counted the cost of being a disciple, or at least counted accurately.

Get my sentiments?

So I am sitting here wondering if my perspective is so wrong because I received all of the victories that come from being a disciple and skimmed over the print that mentions trials and tribulations. I am unsure if this is the primary issue but I know it is certainly one of them. Pick up your cross daily it says! I can’t get through today with the faith, ambition, and energy from yesterday! I pray for strength to carry my cross here and everywhere else because seriously…I would be in big trouble if I left my cross at home.

Luke 14:31-32(NIV) “³¹ Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? ³² If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace.”

The only thing I can say is, “I am sorry God.” Sorry God for being selfish. Sorry God for thinking my way is better than Yours. Sorry God for questioning Your wisdom. Sorry God for tossing my faith for comfort. Sorry God for basically saying, “Yea, I was happy that you saved me but now since I am having to deal with unfavorable circumstances I am ready to trade that for the sinful life I once lived. The life of getting everything I wanted including drinking ,smoking, and freakin’ my way to Hell.” That stuff was deadly but at the time I wanted it.

For anyone who finds this article as a surprise, you shouldn’t. We are only human and we each find our way and yes, there will be mistakes along the way. I am not proud or even satisfied about the way I have been acting towards God but I have prayed and asked for help, even in the midst of plotting ways to get back to Georgia. I have to start somewhere and although I currently wish I was home, I pray more, read the Bible more, and try to meditate on the Lord more. There has to be a breakthrough because I am a firm believer that once I step out of the hedge of protection the blood of Jesus provides for me, Satan will be waiting to knock my head off. Losing my salvation and going to Hell is never worth it. Even as I write this article I am finding myself singing songs of praise as if I were back home. Sometimes Satan will try to keep us quiet so that his voice becomes louder than the voice of God.

Nope! Not happening here. I will fight as a frontline warrior of God. Fasting, praying, and reading the Word will be my medicine when I feel spiritually sick and emotionally furious. Just the other day God was showing me how what He is doing on the inside of my cup is pouring outward and I refuse to go backwards. I want to encourage anyone who may be reading this. Count the cost of being a disciple and although things may appear to be difficult, know that counting the cost (even if you have to double-check and recheck 5 times more),and eternal salvation is worth it. All of this turmoil during the first week is only confirmation of the mighty works God has planned! I can either remain childish and say, “I Quit” or say, “God this is difficult but I know You will strengthen and direct me with each step.” This is certainly work but He never said His path was easy. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18), and prepare for war.

Mirror Mirror…

Low self-esteem is certainly difficult for the individual who suffers from it but may be even more difficult for those who are friends or family of the individual. I can recall the many times feeling frustrated as I listened to friends desperately fish for compliments but deny it when I call them out on it. I recognized low self-esteem as being a huge struggle for everyone who hasn’t found their identity in Christ. The most beautiful and the most handsome still have a list of things that they hate about themselves. The most financially stable and the most intelligent still find something that just isn’t up to par. But guess what? The blood of Jesus was shed to bridge the gap between our deficiencies and His perfection.

I saw the commercial above about a month and a half ago and it did not sit well with me at all. I actually couldn’t watch it after the first time but I didn’t understand why. I don’t know Jennifer Hudson and I have never stepped foot in a Weight Watchers a day in my life. I tried to make sense of what made me uncomfortable but I gave it some days for God to reveal it to me.

Self hate.

I am not saying that Jennifer hates herself but that is what the commercial stirred in me. There is a spirit of self-hatred that thrived on the unrealistic pressures society presents in the media and rested on the spiritual ignorance for majority of my life. But how could I have self hate? I have everything I could ask for. How could I not believe that I was beautiful? People offer compliments all of the time. They couldn’t be lying could they? I mean guys think I am attractive and growing up I was apart of the “pretty girls” crew. What more confirmation did I need?

Regardless of what people told me, I knew that I had self-hatred and I thank God for telling me why.

The answer is that beauty cannot be defined by this world! The world recognizes the outside of the cup while the Lord knows the heart hidden inside. As long as the inside of my cup was empty and tainted with sin I was very ugly and in that state I was rejected by God. Although consciously I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t see myself as being beautiful like others did, spiritually it made so much sense.

People try to compensate. Just like rejection (or any other void), people go about coping with low-esteem in different ways. There are people who are arrogant and egotistic, trying to convince not others, but themselves that they are great and attractive. Then there are people, similar to the route I took, who believe the lies of the enemy and become confused about whether they are attractive or not but decide to believe the most negative option.

I was talking with my mother-in-Christ this past summer and I was asking her what makes a woman virtuous. I had already read Proverbs 31 but I wanted to know what attributes she should have. Is she graceful? Beautiful? Charming? Intelligent? Is she thin? Is she tall? Does she have black hair? But more importantly, I wanted to know HOW she got them because honestly…I didn’t want to go another day without them. I was tired of trying to believe the compliments of others and knowing deep down that although I desperately wanted to believe them, I just couldn’t. I knew there had to be an answer and I knew that Christ was the foundation of it.

My mother-in-Christ basically led me back to the Bible, defining beauty the way Christ does. That made sense but those attributes seemed so distant and unrealistic for 2011. “Women don’t work the way the Proverbs 31 woman works,” I thought to myself. How would I prove to be beautiful in that way? There are no fields near me. Again, trying to understand spiritual things with a carnal mind.

So a few days ago I looked at myself in the mirror getting ready for school as usual. But I stopped as I looked at someone who looked like me but with something a little extra, with beauty. This may sound a little weird but I stood there trying to figure out what had changed. Moles still in the same place? Check. Nose the same size? Check. A few freckles still resting under my eyes? Check. Eyes still brown? Check. Lips still above chin? Check. I couldn’t figure out what was different about the person I see most, me. God began to help me make sense of things when He told me that what He was doing on the inside of my cup was pouring outside. For the first time I saw myself as beautiful, pure, and spiritually alive. Believe me, you can look at the face of an individual and see spiritual life or death. It isn’t even that I am beautiful but the beauty of Christ dwells within me. And that is the magnificent thing in all of this. Again, less of us and more of Him.

Take time to read some of the verses about attractiveness stated by the Word of God.

Agreeable 

Proverbs 19:13 (ESV) “A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.” 

Proverbs 21:9 (ESV) “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” 

Proverbs 21:19 (ESV) “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.” 

Excellent 

Proverbs 31:10 (ESV) “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” 

Faithful & Trustworthy 

1 Timothy 3:11 (ESV) “Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.” 

Gracious & Honorable 

Proverbs 12:4 (ESV) “A gracious woman gets honor, and violent men get riches.” 

Helpful 

Genesis 2:18, 22-24  (ESV) “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” … And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” 

Kindhearted & Generous 

Proverbs 31:20-21 (ESV) “She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.”

Proverbs 31:26 (ESV) “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” 

Submissive & Respectful

1 Corinthians 11:3 (ESV) “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” 

Ephesians 5:22-23, 33 (ESV) “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior… However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Colossians 3:18 (ESV) “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. “

Titus 2:2-5  (ESV)“Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. “

1 Peter 3:1-2 (ESV) “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”

Wise 

Proverbs 14:1 (ESV) “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.”

Beautiful Women in the Bible 

Genesis 24:16 (ESV) “The young woman was very attractive in appearance, a maiden whom no man had known. She went down to the spring and filled her jar and came up.”  

Ruth 1:16-17 (ESV) “But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” 

Esther 2:7 (ESV) “He was bringing up Hadassah, that is Esther, the daughter of his uncle, for she had neither father nor mother. The young woman had a beautiful figure and was lovely to look at, and when her father and her mother died, Mordecai took her as his own daughter.“

Song of Solomon 4:1 (ESV) “Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead.”

To be beautiful is to be a fervent servant of Christ. It makes sense to me now and basically, to be attractive to God is to be unattractive to the world. As I continue to look at myself in the mirror, in awe of the “new-found” beauty, I am prepared to be viewed as less attractive to the world. I never understood why people loved my prom and high school graduation pictures so much because although I was attractive to the world, I was empty from His Spirit and full with low self-esteem. It takes the discernment of God for someone to recognize His beauty. Even for males who may be reading this, the beauty of God isn’t only limited to women. Men too should desire to be made beautiful or handsome, whichever you prefer, in the eyes of God. And the key to that is not being muscular enough, thin enough, dark enough, light enough, tall enough, having the best hair texture, having the most beautiful smile, having the most fashionable clothes, or even being the most outgoing. Being a servant of God while He makes you His bride without spot or blemish will allow His beauty to shine through you. If the inside of the cup is attractive, the outside will be a reflection of that. So for all of those who feel unattractive, allow God to carve your beauty as only His eye can identify such virtue. The world can only identify lust.

I can’t speak for anyone else but I find it so cool to finally see myself as being genuinely beautiful. Of course I still have to allow God to remove the lies embedded in my mind for so long but this is a start. Physical attractiveness wasn’t fulfilling the confidence I needed so I began to seek more. I was looking for something that God so desperately wanted to give me. It is really that simple. For the past 20 years I looked into a mirror and saw someone who may be physically attractive but who was certainly spiritually repulsive. Thank God for His amazing sculpting skills.

I have found beauty… in Him, at last. 

Wilderness Anyone?

For those who don’t know, I am approaching my first big wilderness experience. I will be leaving home to reside in another country for almost half of a year. This wilderness experience will be an interesting one as the idea of being alone with God is a new idea within itself. I will admit my hesitation about the trip when I first began to think about those who I will miss the most and the comfort zone I will be leaving. There is a bigger mission to a wilderness experience than just leaving and saying goodbye, you also get a chance to enter and say hello. God reassured me that this time away will be a grooming process and is vital for me to come back home stronger than I left. Believing the truth of God and the many works He wants to do with and through me is enough for me to shake my fears about leaving. His never-ending truth makes me want to never leave the path where He hides me under His wing (Psalm 91:4) while He chisels and molds me as He finds fit (Isaiah 64:8). This wilderness experience will certainly not be entirely easy as God has been reminding me that even Jesus was led into the wilderness to be tempted (Luke 4:1).

I want to share some of the emotional aspects of preparing for my wilderness experience. I am sitting here, face covered with tears, wondering how I asked God for this blessing then became upset when He gave it to me. I have always loved traveling so the opportunity to study abroad was something I have always wanted to do even before college. As shared a bit in I am Going To Be A Dermatologist, at one point my grades had dropped so low that I basically gave up hope of spending a semester anywhere other than at my home institution. Well God had different plans. Going against my own logic and reasoning, I went to the study abroad office and within minutes I had gotten accepted into a program with scholarship and an offer for them to pay for me to visit another country of my choice, free of charge. I couldn’t get out of the study abroad office fast enough to share my joy with family and close friends. I cannot remember the last time I had been that excited but before I knew it I found myself sad, wondering if I had made a mistake by accepting the offer. When I got back to my suite my first questions to God were, “How can I leave those I have grown to love? Who will I have to fellowship with wayyy over there?” Then God responded, “I have My people everywhere.” Once again, I know nothing but God knows everything.

After that conversation with God I became much more confident regarding the trip. I knew it would be intimate time spent with Him and that He is generous enough to allow me to gain college credits along the way. But starting around December 2011, I reluctantly began to count down the days until I left the country trying to pretend that I wasn’t mad at God. I think this was the first time I have been really mad at God and at the same time I became frustrated with myself for being mad at God. How could I be upset with God for giving me what He knows is best and secondly, what I had asked for in the first place? Aside from the excitement of seeing new areas of the world I was extremely saddened by the idea that I would be leaving those who I had grown to love so dearly. In the past I felt like everyone I loved left me, like nothing good would remain in my life. But with this experience I was even more upset because I felt like this time, for the first time in my life, I was leaving them. I knew that people would leave on their own terms and timing but I felt like since this time it was me, it was my fault for the separation. I was angry because I felt like I was the reason for my own pain but once God took over and became the event planner, I wanted to point the finger at Him.

God allowed me to have bit of a pity party for a while but then He made it clear that I could serve Him or not. He is such an understanding God. He knew the hurt I was feeling and gave me time to get it out of my system while still keeping me in check and letting me know when enough was enough. I began to take things a little far as I began to try to find ways to get out of leaving. But when God stated that I could miss out on an opportunity of a lifetime because of immaturity and fear, I was desperate for Him to take me out of my state of confusion. Or to take the state of confusion out of me. The closer I was getting to leaving Atlanta to go to Philly, the more frequently I found myself crying, kicking, and screaming for God to not make me go. I know this sounds more like going to jail than time spent in the Lord but this is exactly how I felt. I was feeling pressure about Europe and even going to Philly to face all types of hurt, pain, and spiritual anguish, all in the same condition I left them, if not worse. I will be honest, I still find myself crying at least once a day as I count down the days until I leave. The thought of my father trying to squeeze as many activities in one day brings tears to my eyes. Hearing my mother asking me to please remain in contact with her makes it hard for me to even respond a simple, “Okay.” My little brother asking me daily which day I come back makes me want to take him with me. Even as I communicate with my father/mother/siblings-in-Christ, I hate to have to say goodbye, or even see you later. I spent a lot of time with this family within the past year and I have been running from the fact that I will miss a sweet 16 birthday party, piano lessons, late nights of playing games on the iPad, and occasional games of H.O.R.S.E. on the basketball court with my siblings–just to name a few. I had gotten so comfortable with being able to run upstairs to my mother-in-Christ’s room to talk/confide/cry/laugh/ask about whatever was on my mind or heart. I didn’t want to accept that for the next 5 months I won’t be able to wait for my father-in-Christ to come home and share any words of wisdom and/or encouragement the Lord had put on his heart that day. God wouldn’t call me to leave all of this love would He? I mean once I truly found love and joy would I really have to leave it all behind, even for the moment?

If I want to serve the one true living God then yes, yes I would.

This song captures my sentiments. Please take a listen.

I have chosen to say yes. I am ready for this wilderness experience. Everything including my wants, desires, fears etc. needs to come into subjection under His feet. Once God began to eliminate most of my tears, mixed emotions, and selfish thinking I was able to see His true mission. I had to let go of the fear of something happening to my father, mother, brother, and even grandparents while I was gone. I began to question who would help them? Who would they call to pray with them? Then God quickly responded, “You are worrying about all of the wrong things. Although they are your relatives, they are My children first. I will deal with them on My own terms the same way I deal with you. You are not anyone’s Superwoman and you aren’t God. Remain focused on what I have you doing and be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).” God is a mighty God and sometimes He has to remind us of our role in His kingdom. My family has to know God for themselves, not through me. I never want my relationship with anyone to become an idol nor do I wish to ever be a distraction. So I let those worries go but then a new gang of concerns began to creep up as they followed the lead of their old buddy, spirit of rejection. I started to worry about my family-in-Christ forgetting about me or replacing me with someone else. What if I came back to America and they completely lost interest in wanting to spend time with me? What if I reached out to them while in Europe but they became uninterested in conversing with me? Would I miss out on priceless moments at my home college? Would my suitemates like their new suitemate better than they liked me? That stuff sounds silly and very childish but a spirit of rejection can present such lies and worries to a person bound by it. As restated by my mother-in-Christ, God first told me that He is the source of the joy in my life. If everything in America changes I need to find comfort in the fact that He won’t. I need to stand on the Word that states when mothers and fathers forsake their children that God will adopt them (Psalm 27:10). It is dangerous territory to put the mission of God on hold to savor moments with man. We serve a jealous God (Exodus 20:5) and we need to be willing to stand alone with Him if He leads us to.

About a month ago, one night as I sat on the bed talking to God, He gave me more understanding. I whispered to God in the dark room with only an ounce of light from my iPod, “Wait… So God you want me to grow up?”  Absolutely!  God wants me to grow! He wants you to grow! He wants His people to grow! God wants me to experience more deliverance! God wants me to share the Gospel! That is what I need to focus on and when I find myself sad, crying, feeling indifferent, I say, “But Father Your will be done.” When my parents-in-Christ drove me to the airport to come to Philly I made it a focus to never again say, “But God no….” and instead “Your will. Your plan. Your purpose. Your mission. Your kingdom.” God knows my heart and He knows how badly my flesh wants to stay but He and I both also know that His plan is best for me. I am sure He has more planned for me than my tiny brain can even imagine right now. I know at the very least that He means for me to know, love, and seek refuge in Him more. As my mother-in-Christ would probably say, “My training wheels need to fall off.” I would hate for any help God has given me to become an idol to me. I would hate to remain comfortable in my current spiritual state. And most importantly, I would hate to not fulfill the plans God has for my life. This is an exciting time in my life and one that I should be very grateful for. God cares for me so much that He is willing to take me away from everyone and everything I am familiar with so that my dependency on Him may increase. With about a 6 hour time difference and lack of phone usage I will be encouraged to come before the Lord rather than to call/text/email a family member or friend. I am sure God will continue to give me help but I will only contact others as He permits. If I thought I was happy and overflowing with love before I can only imagine what God has planned for our personal time. If all of the love, joy, compassion, understanding etc. expressed to me through His people is enough to make me sing songs of praise, how much more fulfilling will it be to experience such intimacy with the Source?

Late last year God began to show me that I was treating Him more like a business partner than like a Groom. God doesn’t want me to know about religion, He wants me to know Him. God doesn’t want me to hear about deliverance, He wants me to experience it. God doesn’t want me to daydream about love, He wants me to be drenched in it. God doesn’t want me to be bound by rejection, He wants me to be set free from it. God doesn’t want me to engage in acts of sexual immorality, He wants me to yield my instruments unto Him. God doesn’t want me to witness my family/friends/strangers live lives of oppression caused by demons, He wants to use me to cast them out. God doesn’t want me to live a life by the unrighteous standards of the world, He wants me to live by the confidence and power found in Him.

So with all of this I am willing to follow the Lord blindfolded, nervous, anxious, uncertain, eager, heart-broken, and prayerful…as long as He leads.

Even when the path is narrow and tight I will be encouraged because I know His path is narrow (Matthew 7:14).

Even if the road seems uncertain and rugged, I will rest assured that He knows the path of life (Psalm 16:11).

I am unsure of the paths ahead of me, but I am willing to take the hand of God and follow Him. My sentiments are best captured by Matthew 26:42 (NIV): “He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” If Jesus humbled Himself and chose the Father’s will over His own, then I too should do the same. I know nothing but the Lord knows everything. If the Lord has a special mission in Europe how dear I go against the plans of God? I could be prolonging the deliverance from the exact sin which has bound me and my ancestors for thousands of years by focusing on self. Side Note: The last sentence makes me question if it is even me who doesn’t want to go. Or rather if there is something in me that doesn’t want to see the light that radiates from the face of God. Demons tremble at the name of Jesus (James 2:19) and with that they will surely have to go!  I once stated that I give all of my wants and desires to God so that He may do as He sees fit. God has a sense of humor as He is currently putting that very statement to the test. With my eyes closed as tightly as a toddler at their second birthday party blowing out the candles on their cake, I am reaching out my little hand to meet the hand of my Groom as He takes me to safety and adopts me into His royalty.

How great is the God we serve? There is obviously an importance in spending time in the wilderness with God as He led His people, the Israelites, through such an experience. Everyone’s wilderness experience is different but we each need to seek to have one. I know people who have had a wilderness experience in their home or even in a new city or state. I even had a smaller wilderness experience my last semester at school. I still attended my home college but God called me to drown to the world as He led me to delete my Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr accounts, deactivate an email account, and even change my phone number. Although this wasn’t as big as leaving the country for almost half of a year, He was preparing me for the moment that I would. Be willing to say yes to God. He wants the best for me, you, and the rest of His children. I leave January 21st, 2012 to begin a new chapter in my walk with Him. I am nervous, sad, and even a little anxious but I will not walk by sight but by faith and not by my power or authority but by His. So with all of this I shared I say thank you God. Thank you for doing for me what I don’t have the wisdom or strength to do for myself. As I embark on this current wilderness experience I seek to be after the heart of God, to be open to being cleansed and purged from all unclean spirits, and to find comfort in the fact that although I am nobody or nothing, He is everything. He has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). I don’t know what any month, week, or even second will entail while I am in Europe but He says that He knows the plans He has for us. So excuse me as I prepare to take my very first step into the wilderness. My Groom has been waiting for me. And for anyone who is reading this, don’t feel like you can’t relate to having a wilderness experience as He may be waiting for you too. Open up your heart and tell the Lord yes.

Give Me Visine!

I had a conversation with my mother-in-Christ about pet peeves a few weeks ago. She mentioned how pet peeves are things that we may have but that we shouldn’t if we are dead to the flesh. I never looked at it that way because I was so conditioned to think that EVERYONE has pet peeves. Not only did I think that everyone had pet peeves but I also thought that as unique individuals we had a right to have them. When God opened my eyes it began to make sense that we should not have pet peeves if we are led by the Spirit. Annoyances are things that stir the flesh, which means annoyances need to be eliminated by the crucifixion of our old man.

Earlier this week God led me to examine my pet peeves. I have tons of pet peeves that I have personally gathered through the years and some inspired by family but none worth mentioning. I believe God wanted me to revisit my recent conversation about pet peeves because He wanted me to realize how many of my pet peeves that I commit. I thought it was interesting because as I thought about the things that annoy and easily bring me to anger, God led the finger around others and back to me. Who would have thought that as much as I find things annoying, rude, wrong, etc. that I would be the queen of mastering a majority of them?

Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV): “³ Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” 

In addition to what I shared above, I was led to write this article because of what God is willing to do in our lives. There has been times when I have caught someone lying and shook my head in disappointment. It was then that God reminded me when I had lied earlier that day. There has been times when I witnessed someone watering down the Gospel to comfort sinners and days later God was convicting me for that same transgression. It is times like that which God uses to lead me to take the plank out of my own eye. Past ourselves, God will sometimes lead us to share His truth with others regarding sin (1 Corinthians 9:23). However, the catch is that we cannot be hypocritical and insensitive as if we don’t have our own spiritual planks. We need to humbly address sin as God leads with the same passion we address our own sins! It is so easy to point the finger at others with fury and disgust but when God turns that finger back around… reality sets in. If we use the same enthusiasm that we use to expose the sins of others to correct our own sins, there will be more personal deliverance. If we pray to God as hard about our sins as we do about the sins of our family and friends then we will find those personal sins disappearing. And if we evangelize the Gospel eagerly to ourselves as we do to sinners, maybe we can grow to have a PERSONAL, TRUE, and INTIMATE relationship with God. Who said Christians don’t have cleaning up to do even as servants of Christ? I know I do.

In the world someone can examine your home and tell you about every issue and thing that needs to be remodeled before your home is destroyed. Then sadly, that same person can leave without concern or feeling of obligation to help. As I sit here writing this article I am so relieved to know that I serve a God who is willing to remove every plank in my walk with Him. After He shows us our spiritual misconduct isn’t it refreshing to know that He is revealing so that He can start removing?  When I see wrong in others I first do a check with the Holy Spirit to see if that is a personal transgression of mine. If you feel like you don’t hear from the Holy Spirit ask Him which sins you commit. He may tell you more than you want to hear but all of it will be righteous and true. When interacting with others, if what I am witnessing is something the Holy Spirit tells me I need to be delivered from, I pray that I am and I thank the Holy Spirit. If the Holy Spirit tells me that I do not struggle with a sin I see operating in an individual I thank the Holy Spirit and I ask for protection against it. Just because we don’t currently suffer from a sin doesn’t mean that the fiery arrows of the devil aren’t ready to be shot our way. It is easy to be swept into sin as I can attest to once stating that I was not a drinker and then one day shortly after, I was on a path to becoming an alcoholic. It is just that easy. There has even been times when the Holy Spirit has assured me that I have been delivered from what I saw manifesting in someone right in front of me. That is always a joyous occasion that should lead us to praise! While I check with the Holy Spirit about my own spiritual standing I try to be in a position to also be selfless so that I can pray and intercede for others. Sometimes the Lord will lead us to speak truth to others and sometimes He won’t. Either way, we need to be doing a check on ourselves. This idea is similar to the article How Am I Lookin’?. With every interaction that we have, we should compare its fruit with the fruit and standards of God. Along the journey of God abolishing the planks out of our eyes we may be led to help saw away pieces of wood in the eye of someone else. For the rest of our lives on earth we will have some type of plank in or around us regardless of the size or location. With that being said, we will never be in a position to call out error regarding others without calling our error on our own behalf.

God is a faithful God and we need to let our faith in Him reign (1 Corinthians 1:9)! Whenever God shows me an area that I need to develop in or change, I am encouraged that He even cares enough to inspect. As we desire to help others it is important that we first work to help ourselves. I don’t mean this in a selfish way but it is hypocrisy at its finest for one to say that they despise thieves but are contemplating when they should wear their newest pair of stolen shoes. Even while I write articles for this blog God has to remind me that we will sometimes have to preach about what we struggle with. There is a fine line between working with God to be free and denying personal transgression. If God tells you to disprove the lies about smoking marijuana being biblically supported in the midst of you fasting and praying to be delivered, don’t feel incapable. You better say what God tells you to say and keep in mind that He wants that same truth you are sharing to live through your life. When the world is living by and condoning the pot calling the kettle black philosophy, God is saying come out from them and be separate (2 Corinthians 6:17). In summary, we need to make sure that we have an agreement with God to start digging out planks infecting our lives before we try to wiggle the plank from someone else. With joy, compassion, understanding and most importantly love, we can be set free as God uses us to free others! God please give us spiritual Visine so that we may see as brightly and clearly as you intend. Thank You Jesus for the power and cleansing that flows from Your precious blood!

Time To Grow Up

I think growing up is so much easier said than done. I am approaching the second semester of my junior year in undergrad and I am beginning to feel some pressure regarding the real world. As college students we may become bombarded with the many questions we are asked by family and friends regarding our future. It is sometimes then that we realize it is time to grow up. Time to be responsible. Time to begin to prepare ourselves to live independently and pay bills. Even if some of us already have the responsibility of paying bills, there may be some intimidation about the fact that whether we are ready for not, the world is waiting for us bright eyed and bushy tailed.

1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV): “When I was a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”

In addition to gaining responsibility and growing up naturally, it is also vital that we grow up spiritually. In the spiritual realm we may not be instructed to have a solid and persuasive resume or to make sure we keep a strong networking community but we definitely receive instruction. We become responsible for our actions and even the roles we play in the actions of others. Just as we are responsible for the sin we commit, we are also responsible for any assistance we play in the sins of others. Rolling a blunt for yourself is just as bad as rolling a blunt for someone else. I think the most difficult part about the idea of growing up is letting go of all comfort and security we have found in others. We cannot achieve eternal salvation through our mother, father, brother, sister, or anyone else. Growing up causes us to let go of excuses and crutches. I always think about when we make reservations for dinner or events as being what we can’t do spiritually. When someone makes a reservation, someone else who knows the correct information can confirm the reservation. If we go to a restaurant and say, “Hey, my sister made a reservation for….” the receptionist will confirm and direct you to a table. Things don’t work like the scenario shared above in the Kingdom of God. You won’t be able to get eternal salvation through someone else’s relationship with God.  Joel 2:28 (KJV): “And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions.” We each need to have an active, healthy, and personal relationship with the one true living God.

Psalms 71:17-18 (NIV): “¹⁷ Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. ¹⁸ Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.” I believed I shared before some of the mixed emotions I had right after I had gotten saved. I was happy that God had saved me but I was indifferent about the fact that I would have to grow up spiritually. I was uneasy because that wasn’t on my to-do list at the time of just turning 19. The only growing up I was focused on was getting accepting into internship programs and going through the drama of registering for GRE classes on my own. I was distraught over the idea that I would be responsible for my spiritual standing and that I would have to change according to the wisdom God had shared with me.

Don’t be discouraged with the thought that you will have to be on this long, scary, and tiring journey with God. It is definitely a beautiful and virtuous journey but certainly isn’t an easy one. The way of God is narrow, which means you have to be spiritually fit to make it down His path. Find comfort in the fact that God does give help . But the key to receiving and enjoying that help is that our dependency needs to be fully on the Lord. If not, our help will be our idol, our god. We have to thank God for setting the order of things so that our priorities do not become distorted. God always knows what He is doing. Isaiah 46:3-4 (NIV): “³Listen to me, you descendants of Jacob, all the remnant of the people of Israel, you whom I have upheld since your birth, and have carried since you were born. ⁴ Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”  God won’t grow us up without His help. God won’t say grow up and leave us stranded and confused. God is ready to grow us up at our own pace, time, and specific circumstances.

I want to take time to recognize that there is beauty and glory in old age. Proverbs 20:29 (NIV): ” The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair is the splendor of the old.” The world views aging as an individual becoming unattractive, struggling to pay bills, and pushed to the side by children and grand-children. Thank you Jesus that in spiritual maturity things are the complete opposite. As we grow and mature in the Lord we become even more beautiful as the beauty of Christ grows within us. We become wise and thus become prosperous in Christ. And we become more in tune with the presence of God so regardless of any company we have in the flesh, we never feel lonely as we never leave the feet of the Lord. That is something worth looking forward to! I spoke with my grandmother a few weeks ago and she said to me, “I don’t want to seek God when I am old and sickly. I want to seek God in my youth.” Mind you this is my grandmother so I chuckled at the thought of her talking about growing old but she has the idea correct. Ecclesiastes 12:1-3 (NIV): “¹ Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I find no pleasure in them”— ² before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars grow dark, and the clouds return after the rain; ³ when the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men stoop, when the grinders cease because they are few, and those looking through the windows grow dim.” All too often do we as humans try to wait to become physically old to begin to become a babe in Christ. Some individuals die without being able to truly experience and exercise the power of God! If being just a babe in Christ is a rejuvenating and praiseworthy experience just imagine what it may be like to mature and grow elderly in Him.

As I am working to grow in Christ I encourage others to do the same. Growing up in God is much different from growing up in the world. When the world is inconsistent with explaining what the future will bring the Word of God gives specific and truthful breakdowns. God will mercifully remove all crutches so that we may reach our full potential as the Body of Christ. Rest assured that growing up spiritually in Christ is one of the most rewarding experiences in Christ if not the most rewarding. Maturing in Christ brings so much joy, power, and authority. In spiritual development other aspects of our lives are affected and will ultimately be a reflection of our ever-increasing relationship with our Father. Leave your childish ways behind and press on toward the goal to win the prize of which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14). Thank You Jesus.

Come Back To Him!

In the past I thought people who grew up in the church had it easy. I never understood how people who knew the truth made a conscious decision to be of the world. I spoke with a young man once who lamented about his inexperience with females and with drinking and smoking. I was surprised to hear him talk about how he desperately wanted to do the things he had seen on tv. As a freshman in college he wanted to go to clubs, become sexually active, and get so drunk that he couldn’t remember anything from the night before. My first thoughts were that this kid was crazy. I kept saying to myself that I wish I had known as much about the spiritual realm when I was growing up. He sounded like a sheltered sheep as he told me how in his household he could not go certain places and engage in certain “cultural” events. For example, his family made an agreement with him regarding prom. If he missed his senior prom then they would rent a car for him for an entire week or so. At the moment he felt like that was the right and wise thing to do but a year later he hates the thought of not having any pictures or memories of his senior prom. Maybe God thought it was best for him to not go to prom, that’s not for me to decide. But I was worried to see this young man so eager to engage in sin. He wanted to leave the flock with hope of coming back in one piece. I tried to explain that to whom much is given, much is expected and that God had shown Himself to this young man at such an early age for a reason. In summary, I tried to explain how dangerous it is to step out of the covering of protection given to us by God. Especially when it is deliberate. I thought his philosophy of viewing his walk with God was absurd. The interesting thing is that God had to remind me that after getting to know the Lord I had my own “prodigal son” experience.

Luke 15:1-7 (NIV):

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

¹ Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. ² But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”³ Then Jesus told them this parable: ⁴ “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? ⁵ And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders ⁶ and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ ⁷ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

I will share a personal story about what ended my “prodigal son” experience. So shortly after the Lord got my attention and showed me how real He is I got a bit discouraged. I felt like God had called me to do His business, which is serious and ought to be treated as such, during my college experience. Although I was “happy” God had saved me, I began to question why I couldn’t have more time to be the average teenager in college, 12 hours away from my hometown. It was obviously a matter of life or death for me as Jesus had to jump in and save me before I hit hell head first. So anyway, one day I decided to go have fun with old friends. I mean I can still serve God regardless if my friends do. I mean, as long as I keep His commands right? I wasn’t fooling anyone but myself. So this night with friends I went to a “kickback” with intentions to “hangout” with friends but ended up in horrible condition. I believe in the past I have been more intoxicated but I think God wanted to teach me a lesson about how serious it is to play with fire. I won’t even get into detail about the numerous alcoholic beverages and illegal substances I had taken that night but it was enough to kill a person. I had absolutely no self-control. And my crutch was the thought, “In the morning I’ll make things right with God but right now, God please watch over me.” After taking several shots of alcohol everything became a blur. I remember specifically at some point lying on a friends bathroom floor in their apartment. I remember being so intoxicated that I was seeing double of everything and all I wanted was for my stomach to be pumped. I had alcohol poisoning for sure. As I lie there I began to feel pain in my hand and neck. I was the “angry” drunk type so at one point I had gotten so upset that I began to punch concrete leaving my knuckles bloody and sore. And I still cannot fully explain where the scratches on my neck that burned for about 2 weeks came from. Friends occasionally checked on me as I was stretched out on the bathroom floor for the rest of the night. But honestly, saI was pretty much was left there helpless. I began to feel so sick and began to ask God to sober me. While still on the floor, I was able to find my phone and call my Grandmother-in-Christ to help take my mind off of where I was. To my surprise she answered, prayed with me, and before you know it I began to sober up. I was still drunk, believe me, but I began to feel it lifting. I hated being at that apartment because it felt like being in a pool of sin. The music was so loud in the apartment and the heavy smoke was making the bathroom feel like a sauna so I decided to go in the hallway of the apartment complex. I staggered into the hallway and I will never forget what happened because I had the most serious and realistic experience to have been so drunk. This whole night was spiritual and no one knew it besides me, I think. So I went into the hallway and I was clearly drunk and had the rambles on the phone. When my Grandmother-in-Christ began talking I had a surreal experience. Something told me to turn to my right and there was a man approaching and staring at me as I stood in the hallway drunk and afraid for my life. I tried to hold my composure and not appear to be “as drunk.” The man turned away and went into his apartment. 2 seconds later something told me to turn to my left and all I saw was a tiny head peaking from around a wall. I wasn’t in my “right” mind so I began to walk closer to see what it was. I stopped in my tracks when I realized that it was a person watching me the entire time, possibly plotting to catch me off guard. My last thought was that you need to go inside right now because I did not know what was being planned. As I ran back to my “friends” apartment there was someone coming out and I turned to tell them about the person who had been watching me and when I turned around, the person watching me was gone. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the man who walked by me on the right knew the guy peaking on the left. I went inside the apartment and locked myself into the bathroom until it was time to go. After several hours had passed my ride decided to take me back to campus. Helping to hold me up from place to place, we somehow managed for me to get back into my room. I sat up in my bed talking to God and preparing a ” I know I am about to die God but I am sorry,” speech. I felt my heart beating slowly and it just felt like everything was slowing down. Almost as if I was in a bubble and everyone was going on with their lives while I was approaching death, slowly but surely. No, I didn’t die but for the next 3 days I was extremely sick. I was unable to keep anything down, my neck and hands were sore, and exposure to the sun caused pain on my skin. It was in the middle of Spring and I was bundled up to keep my skin from pain. There are some other events that happened which are a part of me coming out of my old sinful nature but this one specific event shared above, is my prodigal son experience.

Luke 15:11-32 (NIV):

 The Parable of the Lost Son

^“11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. ¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.²⁵ “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷ ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’²⁸ “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹ But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰ But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ ³¹ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”

God WILL come back for His lost sheep, even if it is one.

For those who were raised in the church, go back to your first love. Go back to Him! He is waiting. When our relationship with God begins to fail it is because we moved or we changed. God is a compassionate and long-suffering God. Don’t become comfortable with sin and don’t believe the lies of Satan that will make you believe you can never go back. Don’t believe the lies that you have done the worst sins and thus cannot be used by Christ. Trust me, there is nothing new under the sun as stated in the Bible and there isn’t any sin that God can’t forgive or deliver us from. Go back to God! The next second or minute is not promised and you don’t want things to end with you not being right with the Lord. Remember, He is waiting for you with open arms. Go back!

Youtube Channel

There is now a Youtube channel where you can listen to the written articles. The Vblogs will not read the articles verbatim but will rather summarize the articles. Also, only the written articles will have sermons and songs attached.

Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/TheePottersHandBlog

There is also a new page added which can be found at the top of the main page of the blog. If anyone wishes to connect to the Youtube channel but forgets the link, the link will be posted there also.

 

Masturbation Said Yes But Mercy Said No

I really think one of the least favorable things to discuss is one’s struggle with masturbation. It is always easier to talk about masturbation in a joking sense but the conversation can become extremely difficult when talking about it from a struggling perspective. Masturbation is a struggle. In the beginning you may find yourself masturbating for pleasure but later find yourself masturbating because you feel like you don’t have a choice. The world is so corrupt that some places even have masturbation marathons, which helps masturbation appear to be socially acceptable because, “Everyone does it.” Or at least has done it. Or even tried to do it; successfully or not. I remember one day trying to check my Facebook page but somehow a website about masturbation popped up. I was a little creeped out because I had not been looking for any information about masturbation but it is clear that God wanted me to examine the content on the page. The website concerning what the Bible says about masturbation changed my perceptive on masturbation forever because it was then that God had shown me His stance on the activity. During high school and currently in college, masturbation is always one of those conversations that is brought up and leaves the crowd feeling awkward. My idea was that masturbation was a normal part of puberty, especially for males. Although puberty is usually the time when individuals discover masturbation, there is nothing normal about it at all. It is time to expose masturbation to be as wicked and perverted as it truly is. I am not here to offend nor am I here to bring comfort. I desire to share truth so that many who are in bondage to masturbation and pornography may be set free.

As we should with everything, ask God to help you receive and extract all valuable information as you watch the video below.

↓↓BELOW IS A POEM ABOUT THE MISERY OF MASTURBATION BY LARRY J. BROWN.↓↓

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE MADNESS, THE MISERY OF MASTURBATION BY: LARRY J. BROWN JR. AKA J-ELIJAH

Restless.

Frustrated.

Frustrated with Myself.

I did it again.
Like a crack addict addicted to crack,
I am addicted to myself.
Seeking quick fixes.
Temporary highs with devastating lows.
Trying to satisfy the lust of my flesh,
With solo trips,
With solo voyages,
In darkness.
Despite disgust, guilt, shame, condemnation.
Knowing what I’m supposed to do,
Continuing to do what I’m not supposed to
Like Paul in Romans 7.
Justifying my sin because of the lesser consequences than fornication.
Losing my respect for people.
Losing my respect for places.
Doing whatever it takes wherever to fulfill my high.
Masturbation becomes my god.
My idol.
My controller.
My oppressor.
My dirty little secret that keeps me bound.
Why do I feel so out of control?
I’m not sleeping around.
I’m sleeping with myself.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation

“God Bless You.”
“I’m Blessed.”
Saying what I need to say to maintain my front.
“Aw, you’re such a good brother.”
Constant compliments from brothers and sisters
Add on to my guilt.
Soon as I get to church I am well greeted.
“Welcome, brother.”
But do you know what I just did.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation
I can’t look at my hands.
My hands are so dirty.
No matter how many times I wash my hands,
No matter how much soap I use,
My hands still feel dirty.
Even though I know it’s wrong,
I keep doing the same thing
Over and over and over again.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation

Turning on the tv,
Lustful images fill the screen
At 5:00 p.m. in the afternoon.
Turning on the radio,
Enticing lyrics over a hypnotic beat
At 5:00 p.m. in the afternoon.
Man, I’m just all messed up.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation

Pornography is masturbation’s best friend.
Exposing myself to what I don’t need to see.
Lying to myself,
Saying I’m just going to watch.
Why can’t I just watch? But I can’t just watch.
The after effects of shame last longer than
The temporary pleasure of the drug of masturbation.
This is Madness. This is Misery.
The pain is outweighing the pleasure.
This is changing me.
Becoming selfish.
Becoming lonesome.
Not wanting to be around people.
Becoming self-consumed.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation

God, take this from me.
Confessing this sin of masturbation,
Of lust,
Of sexual immorality.
Repenting,
Asking for your forgiveness,
Receiving your forgiveness.
Conversing with friends about this,
Finding out many friends have the same weakness.
Praying for each other.
Holding each other accountable.
Satisfying my spirit,
Denying my flesh,
Through the word of God,
Fasting,
Praying,
Confessing.
Stop watching all those crazy music videos.
Guarding.
Guarding.
Guarding my eyes.
Guarding my eyes from what I don’t need to see.
Stop listening to all those lust songs.
Guarding.
Guarding.
Guarding my ears.
Guarding my ears from what I don’t need to hear.
Restless.
Frustrated.
Frustrated with myself.
I did it again.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation

No matter how many times I fall,
Through frustration,
Fighting.
Fighting.
Fighting against myself.
Looking to victory.
Looking to determination.
Going through withdrawal.
Rough nights.
Praying.
Restless.
Frustrated.
Frustrated with myself.
I did it again.
Night sweats. Heart beats fast.
Resist.
Resist.
Resisting temptation.

The Lord is blessing me with clean hands.
My hands are clean.
My hands are clean.
My heart is clean.

Looking to victory,
Looking to determination,
Defeating the drug of masturbation.
Madness is replaced with liberty.
Misery is replaced with freedom.

A Cry for My Brothers and My Sisters
Who Struggle with Masturbation

Heavenly Father,
Lord of Hosts,
In the name of Jesus,
We, your sons and your daughters,
Cry to you Lord.
Thank you Jesus.
We bless you Lord.
We praise you Lord.
We turn to you Jesus.
We confess our sin of masturbation,
Of lust,
Of sexual immorality,
Of selfishness.
We repent.
We repent, we turn away from the sin of masturbation.
Lord, we ask for your forgiveness.
We receive your forgiveness.
Lord, create in us clean hearts.
Bless us with clean hands.
Bless us with self-control.
Lord, help us to live holy,
Through your word,
Through fasting and prayer,
We bind condemnation in the name of Jesus.
We bind shame in the name of Jesus.
We loose peace in the name of Jesus.
We loose encouragement in the name of Jesus.
We will not be defeated.
We overcome masturbation through Christ.
The Lord is Our Deliverer.
Lord of Hosts, deliver your people.
Deliver your people in the name of Jesus.
Amen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Similar to the effects of masturbation mentioned in the poem above by Mr.Brown, masturbation will make you feel ashamed, worthless, embarrassed, and dirty (Just to name a few). After a spirit of masturbation gets you to fulfill its needs it will bring the worst condemnation until it wants to be fed again. When Satan is done using you, he dismisses you until he wishes to use you again. Being in bondage to masturbation and/or pornography is no joke. Although some have independent hardships with either masturbation or pornography, the two are usually dependent on each other. It is important to starve pornography as it gives fuel to masturbation, keeping lustful images in the mind of individuals. I think the struggle with masturbation is unique because of the following reasons. A. It can be done in privacy so no one has to know (Well not really because God and His angels are there). B. It can be done without anyone else so it is STD and pregnancy free. C. It fulfills the sexual desires constantly expressed by society. D. You may find sexual relations with others useless because you feel that no one can fulfill you sexually better than you can. If the orgasm isn’t reached righteously, let it go.

I came across the site, Porn Free, which provides encouraging testimonies of those who have been delivered from bondage to masturbation and porn (To view the article look on the left under the section titled “Sex&God” then click “Author’s Story”). Additionally, below is a video on a young woman who wanted to share her testimony about being delivered from masturbation. Regardless of sex and age, I believe this video is be able to help many. Just when you begin to feel like you are struggling alone and that your struggle is impossible to overcome, testimonies like Dameco’s gives hope to those who so badly want to give up.

What helps? I have a few suggestions. 1. Play Gospel music as often as you can. If possible, don’t turn it off at all. The music should cause tension in your mind when you are thinking on things that are unrighteous. If you can think about smoking weed while listening to your Gospel music, get rid of the music NOW! If you are genuinely serving the Lord you should find it very uncomfortable listening to music exalting the Lord and thinking of pornographic images at the same time. And once that discomfort comes, don’t make the mistake of dismissing the thought of God so that the impure thoughts can remain. 2. Be careful of what you see and hear! There is no such thing as just watching porn. Once the images begin to roll, masturbation is preparing itself for duty. 3. Cast down all imaginations. It is so important to not think about masturbation because it only increases the desire. It might begin with daydreaming about sex then it leads to thinking about porn then you’ll find yourself contemplating whether you should masturbate or not. A few weeks ago I wrote an article on the importance of A Pure Mind. 4. Be mindful of the clothing you wear. Dressing modestly can limit the sexual attraction expressed  by others. And for some, limiting time spent in the shower and unclothed helps. 5. Limit your time alone. If being in your room increases the chances of you masturbating, get out of there! The devil loves to get us alone because it gives him an advantage during temptation. Unless Satan has you bound to a point where you no longer have self-control, you won’t masturbate in public. Don’t take the self-control lightly because if given enough authority, Satan will have you doing things you would have never imagined. Similar to how some of you may have said that you would never be in bondage to masturbation and/or pornography. Satan and his angels do not have any discretion and it is a terrible thing when they have so much power that they can make an individual do something with one simple command.

I want to encourage all who may be struggling with masturbation. As difficult as it may be to talk about, seek God to see if/who He wishes for you to discuss the struggle with. Satan hates to be exposed and keeping this dirty little secret can cause the spirit of masturbation and pornography to thrive. It is important to address this stronghold because each time one masturbates the situation gets worse. Each time an individual watches porn another image is embedded in their mind. Each time an individual masturbates they practice sexual immortality. Some may try to negotiate when comparing masturbation to fornication as masturbation being the lesser of the two evils, but there is no such thing. Masturbation is just as bad. Just take time to really consider how wicked and perverted thoughts have to be to perform masturbation. Matthew 5:29-30 (NIV):“²⁹ If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. ³⁰ And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” As you recognize the severity of sin as a whole, also realize that you aren’t alone. Masturbation being common doesn’t justify it as being right. However, I do believe knowing masturbation is a common denominator among many may help with overcoming the lies that an individual is battling against something they think is unique to them. Romans 6:13 (NIV): ” Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness.”  Ask Him to help you not abuse and misuse your reproductive organs. Ask God to help you use your mind and hands to bring Him glory. Just ask Him.

Be encouraged. God is our Deliverer and He can remove all strongholds from our lives. Cry out to God. Call on the name of Jesus. Starve the flesh. Starve what feeds lust.  Fast to beat down the flesh. Fill idle time with productivity. Let your love for God outshine your flesh’s desire to sin. Pray and ask God to renew your mind, daily. It is extremely important that He erases the perverted imagines printed in the mind of individuals struggling with masturbation. Deliverance is real and it can be done. Some days you may win with the help of Christ and some days you may feel like you lost without Him. Remember that overcoming any struggle is impossible if we approach it by trying to fight it with our own strength. Ask God to take porn and masturbation from you and mean it as genuinely as you can. Trust in His power. Believe in His truth.

I know discussing masturbation may be difficult for some but if anyone has any questions or concerns feel free to email me at theepottershand@hotmail.com .

Liar Liar!

Like many of the other subjects I have been writing about, I was once blinded about what made someone a liar. A liar.. me? “Of course not,” is what I would have said if anyone asked me if I was a liar a year ago. But was I a liar? I sure was.

Below is the story about Sarah, Abraham’s wife, and how she had lied to God. Some may say that she was joking or had simply bent the truth because of fear but honestly, she lied.

Genesis 18:1-15 (AMP):

” ¹ Now the Lord appeared to Abraham by the oaks or terebinths of Mamre; as he sat at the door of his tent in the heat of the day ²He lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, three men stood at a little distance from him. He ran from the tent door to meet them and bowed himself to the ground  ³And said, My lord, if now I have found favor in your sight, do not pass by your servant, I beg of you. ⁴Let a little water be brought, and you may wash your feet and recline and rest yourselves under the tree.⁵And I will bring a morsel (mouthful) of bread to refresh and sustain your hearts before you go on further–for that is why you have come to your servant. And they replied, Do as you have said.⁶So Abraham hastened into the tent to Sarah and said, Quickly get ready three measures of fine meal, knead it, and bake cakes.⁷And Abraham ran to the herd and brought a calf tender and good and gave it to the young man [to butcher]; then he [Abraham] hastened to prepare it.⁸And he took curds and milk and the calf which he had made ready, and set it before [the men]; and he stood by them under the tree while they ate.⁹And they said to him, Where is Sarah your wife? And he said, [She is here] in the tent.¹⁰[The Lord] said, I will surely return to you when the season comes round, and behold, Sarah your wife will have a son. And Sarah was listening and heard it at the tent door which was behind Him.¹¹Now Abraham and Sarah were old, well advanced in years; it had ceased to be with Sarah as with [young] women. [She was past the age of childbearing].¹²Therefore Sarah laughed to herself, saying, After I have become aged shall I have pleasure and delight, my lord (husband), being old also? ¹³And the Lord asked Abraham, Why did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I really bear a child when I am so old? ¹⁴Is anything too hard or too wonderful for the Lord? At the appointed time, when the season [for her delivery] comes around, I will return to you and Sarah shall have borne a son. ¹⁵Then Sarah denied it, saying, I did not laugh; for she was afraid. And He said, No, but you did laugh.”

There is no such thing as a small lie. No such thing as a white lie. Not even a such thing as a big lie. A lie is a lie. The Bible even refers to what we may call compulsive liars but with the truth of what being a compulsive liar is a result of. 1 Timothy 4:2 (NIV): ” Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.” 

This past summer I found myself in a situation where I was momentarily willing to lie. I received a call early in the morning from someone who is really close to me and whom I care a lot about. She called because she had applied for a job position and the company had shown interest in her. After hearing the good news I was extremely happy for her. I knew she and her husband had been unemployed for several years as a result of our recent economical hardships. As the conversation continued she told me why she had called me in the first place. The company asked to speak with a reference and she thought I would be the best person. She quickly gave me the rundown of when the company would call, what I should say, and who exactly I was supposed to be. She sounded so desperate and I was hoping to go back to sleep; so I answered with a simple, “Sure.” She then hung up and I tried to go back to sleep. I tossed and turned for 15 minutes trying to go back sleep but I couldn’t because the Lord was getting my attention.

God: “Call her back and tell her that you cannot lie for her.”

Me: “I am tired God. Can I call and tell her later?”

God: “Don’t let her go another second thinking that you will lie for her. Not if you want to serve Me.”

I decided that I would contact her at that moment but then I found myself uneasy about something else. I began to think about how difficult it would be to tell this lady that I wouldn’t lie for her. She is an older woman who I have known for all of my life and has two kids, one in college. For so many years I had listened to her complain about the struggles of paying her mortgage, her car expenses, and the tuition of her child in college. Couldn’t I just kind of help her out help her sin? Nope. That isn’t helping. A lie is a lie. I began to try to convince God, or myself, that I wouldn’t be lying.

Me: “I mean I can vouch that she is a hard and diligent worker, right?”

What God asked me next shut all of my uncertainty down.

God:“Have you ever worked with her?”

Me: “No.”

God:“Have you ever even worked for that company?”

Me: “No.”

God: “Are you an established woman living in Pennsylvania as described in the role you’ve been given in this lying skit?”

God: “Is anything mentioned in this situation the truth?”

As you may have guessed I got quiet and in that moment of silence God led me to contact her at that very moment. I was reluctant but I eventually contacted her again. I began the conversation saying that I won’t be able to speak with the company as a reference. She quickly asked,”Why”. This would have been so much easier if I had just said no in the first place. I told her that if I spoke with a representative as being an old co-worker of hers I would be lying. And If I want to truly serve God, lying is never acceptable. She said that she understood and then began to explain why she asked me to do her a favor  lie originally. She stated that she had only desperately wanted the job but that she respects my reasoning for not wanting to be a reference. Once the conversation ended I found myself actually feeling bad. Then I had to catch myself and ask if I was conforming to the ways of the world or to the ways of God. I was about to transgress against our Father and my only obligation is to make things right with Him. I felt that I had in some sense led her on and thus had her thinking that I would lie for her so that she may get the job. After all, she did end up getting the job without any lies of mine. How she got a reference, who she got it from, or when she got it is beyond my knowledge. I just did what the Lord told me to do.

Additionally, lying for her could cripple her progress in getting to know the Lord. What if that opportunity was a time God would use to get her attention? My testimony may appear very hypocritical to her or anyone else who I am willing to sin for or with. If I were to lie she could easily dismiss Christianity to be nothing but false religion. If I had gone through with the plan of lying in the situation mentioned earlier I could have presented a skewed perception of my relationship with Christ. Furthermore, God told me that my walk with Him needs to reflect in all areas of my life.  Lying would have allowed this woman to think we are the same because we were both lying. But Christians are supposed to be different. We are supposed to stand out. I would’ve been acting as a follower of Satan’s instructions and how can a follower of Satan’s help free someone who is also held captive by the evil one? Only God’s chosen can do that.

Leviticus 19:11 (NIV): “Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another.”

Psalm 58:3 (NIV): “Even from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward and speak lies.”

Psalms 63:11 (NIV): “But the kind will rejoice in God; all who swear by God’s name will praise him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.”

Psalms 120:2 (NIV): “Save me, O Lord, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues.”

Proverbs 12:22 (NIV): “The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in men who are truthful.”

Proverbs 19:5 (NIV): “A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will not go free.”

Proverbs 19:22 (NIV): “What a mean desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar.” ~~~~I had to read this one 4 times.

Proverbs 6:17 (NIV): “Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood.”

The whole existence of lying is explained in the next verse. John 8:44 (NIV): ” You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out of your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies”  When I get the desire to lie I ask God to remind me what lying does for me. I view it as basically competing with the father of lies for his job. The work of our Heavenly Father is based in truth. The whole being of Christianity is founded in truth. I won’t ease the minds of Muslims or Buddhists by telling lies regarding Jesus being the only true way to God. I pray that I don’t lie to receive a good grade. I pray that I don’t lie to or for a friend. I pray that I don’t lie to or for my parents. I pray that I don’t even lie to myself. How can a lying Christian be a witness of Christ? How can a lying Christian even proclaim the truth of the Gospel? I choose truth and I encourage others to choose truth too.

A Prayer Closet

Colossians 4:2 (NIV): “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”

I have been desiring to have a prayer closet. I don’t mean specifically a closet with a shrine in it but rather preparing a sanctuary where I talk with the Lord. Our body is a temple so wherever we go, our sanctuary goes. Ephesians 6:18 (NIV): “Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.”  I don’t want to pray once a day in this prayer closet, for we are supposed to pray constantly. I refer to being in my prayer closet during times when I turn off all of my electronics and spend time away from work just sitting at the feet of God, talking. Having quiet time. We dedicate time to watch our favorite sitcoms and we dedicate time for school and work meetings but when do we dedicate time to meet with the Lord? This desire came about after reading Matthew 6:5-6 (NIV): “⁵ “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. ⁶ But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” This idea of a prayer closet welcomed a thought of having a meeting with God without any disturbances, distractions, or trouble.

1 Timothy 2:8(NIV): “Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing.”

The Lord showed me that I was once very selfish in prayer. One day I was praying the Lord’s prayer and I began wondering if I should be saying “Me” instead of “We” or “My Father” instead of “Our Father.” It took me a few days to recognize that I should absolutely be praying for more than just myself. Ephesians 6:18-19 (NIV): “¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel.” I also found myself saying that I would pray for someone and simply forget. If we say we are going to pray for someone in need then we need to do it. When I was prepared for bed I knew all of my personal petitions but I somehow couldn’t remember who or what else to pray for. So God told me to either do what I said I would do or not to mention to pray for someone. I didn’t intend to lie to anyone but I guess my laziness and my selfishness had gotten the best of my prayer life. James 5:14-16 (NIV): “¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.¹⁶ Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” God tells us to pray for others and that is exactly what we need to do. Matthew 7:7-11 (NIV): “⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.⁹ “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹ If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

James 5:16 (NIV): “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

Psalm 55:17 (KJV): “Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice.”

At one point I even wanted to take time in the morning to cry out to God after reading Psalm 5:3 (NIV): ” In the morning, LORD, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait expectantly.” When I tried to wake up early before my classes to pray, I found myself hitting my snooze button and begging God to allow me to get just a few more minutes of sleep. Those experiences took me back to the original problem at the time. I would usually pray at night but I didn’t like the idea of immediately calling, texting, and emailing others but taking the entire day to spend quality time with God. Our Father deserves better. He deserves conversation all day long.

Proverbs 15:8 (KJV): “The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is His delight.”

The Lord showed me that I was once very selfish in prayer. One day I was praying the Lord’s prayer and I began wondering if I should be saying “Me” instead of “We” or “My Father” instead of “Our Father.” It took me a few days to recognize that I should absolutely be praying for more than just myself. Ephesians 6:18-19 (NIV): “¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel.” I also found myself saying that I would pray for someone and simply forget. If we say we are going to pray for someone in need then we need to do it. When I was prepared for bed I knew all of my personal petitions but I somehow couldn’t remember who or what else to pray for. So God told me to either do what I said I would do or not to mention to pray for someone. I didn’t intend to lie to anyone but I guess my laziness and my selfishness had gotten the best of my prayer life. James 5:14-16 (NIV): “¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.¹⁶ Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” God tells us to pray for others and that is exactly what we need to do. Matthew 7:7-11 (NIV): “⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.⁹ “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹ If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

James 5:16 (NIV): “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

Psalm 55:17 (KJV): “Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice.”

At one point I even wanted to take time in the morning to cry out to God after reading Psalm 5:3 (NIV): ” In the morning, LORD, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait expectantly.” When I tried to wake up early before my classes to pray, I found myself hitting my snooze button and begging God to allow me to get just a few more minutes of sleep. Those experiences took me back to the original problem at the time. I would usually pray at night but I didn’t like the idea of immediately calling, texting, and emailing others but taking the entire day to spend quality time with God. Our Father deserves better. He deserves conversation all day long.

Proverbs 15:8 (KJV): “The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is His delight.”

I did find a way to begin overcoming soulish prayers as I remember that Satan never wants us to pray for others. If I feel led to pray for someone then I sometimes pray for them at that very moment. I don’t have to wait until bedtime to do so. I also take time talking to God and asking Him to bring to my remembrance who He wants me to pray for and exactly what He wants me to pray about. For example, one day someone asked me to pray for them to keep their job. Now what if God doesn’t want them to keep that job? What if He may be using that current job position as only a temporary stepping stone? I would never want to pray against the plans of God, so what did I do? I prayed that the Lord’s will be done. We know nothing but He knows everything.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV): “¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

1 Corinthians 14:15 (KJV): “What is it then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also: I will sing with the spirit, and I will sing with the understanding also.”

Matthew 21:22 (NIV): “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

John 14:13-14 (NIV): “¹³ And I will do whatever you ask in My name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ You may ask me for anything in My name, and I will do it.”

Prayers not getting answered? What things are you praying for? 

James 4:3 (NIV): ” When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

You ever have prayers that never seem to be answered? Well I am a firm believer that if God said it, He will settle it. Not by our standards, but by His. To me, even “not answering” is answering, just not the way we want or had expected. We must come with reverent submission. Secrets of a Prayer Warrior by Derek Prince gives a great breakdown on prayer. We must have faith. We must be committed. We must pray the name of Jesus.We must approach Gold boldly, without condemnation. We must have the right motives. We must forgive those who have hurt us. We must be directed by the Holy Spirit. We must ask according to God’s Word.

For certain prayers, God does suggest that we pray earnestly.

Luke 18:1-10 (NIV):

The Parable of the Persistent Widow

 “¹ Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. ² He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. ³ And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’⁴ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, ⁵ yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’” ⁶ And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. ⁷ And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? ⁸ I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

Luke 6:12 (NIV): “One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God.”

If Jesus prayed you know we ought to be praying. God wants us to pray! He enjoys talking to us and He enjoys to hear from us. 

Jesus instructs us how to pray. I begin my prayers with the Lord’s prayer because it prepares me to have a focused and sound mind. I don’t want to pray ineffective prayers. I want the Holy Spirit to pray through me, as I don’t know the prayer to pray or how to pray it worthy enough. The Lord’s prayer is so rich with content and supplication yet clear and concise in each verse.We don’t have to pray religious prayers, repeating the same things to appear to be praying a lengthy prayer. Matthew 6:7 (NIV): ” And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 

Matthew 6:9-13 (KJV): 

The Model Prayer

⁹ In this manner, therefore, pray: 

      Our Father in heaven, 
      Hallowed be Your name. 
       ¹⁰ Your kingdom come. 
      Your will be done 
      On earth as it is in heaven. 
       ¹¹ Give us this day our daily bread. 
       ¹² And forgive us our debts, 
      As we forgive our debtors. 
       ¹³ And do not lead us into temptation, 
      But deliver us from the evil one. 
      For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”

In conclusion, DON’T STOP PRAYING! Praying has become so second nature that I find myself praying without even thinking about it. I found that being constant in prayer eliminates one “daily” prayer at night, which is rudely interrupted by yawns and heavy eyelids. As my prayer life continues to develop I find myself more excited to pray. Although God already knows everything, I just love sharing things with Him. And guess what? He shares things with me too. I don’t want to pray babbling prayers. I don’t want to pray soulish prayers. I don’t even want to pray doubtful prayers. I want the Holy Spirit to pray through me. I want to pray and intercede for the captive. I want to pray and talk with my best friend, Our Father, who is never too busy to talk. I just want to pray like Jesus.

A Pure Mind

Romans 12:2 (NIV): “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Take a second to think about the top 5 things you think about on the daily basis. I don’t mean 5 random thoughts but more so the thoughts that plague your mind. Even the thoughts you sometimes question why you cannot shake or get rid of.

My top 5 are:

1. My salvation and essentially my relationship with Christ. Am I being His bride?

2. My family and how they’re doing physically and spiritually. Is there anyone who needs to be saved?

3. Grades and how I am doing academically. Am I really reaching my full potential in school?

4. My career and the preparation for my future. Am I following the path God has for me?

5. The world and humanity as a whole. Am I being the salt of the earth?

Now out of your top 5 thoughts, how many of them are inspired by Christ? Most of my CURRENT top 5 constant thoughts are related to Christ and thus help keep my mind on Him. I do, however, still have other constant thoughts that fall under the umbrella of lust of the flesh and the lust of the world as a whole. It is usually easier to identity the obvious perverted and wicked thoughts to immediately cast them down. But to my surprise even some of the thoughts in my top 5 can begin with the inspiration of Christ and later be manipulated by the inspiration of Satan. I can begin thinking about my relationship with Christ and the things I need to do better as a bride but before you know it I sometimes find myself stressing about why I will never be good enough. Should I be concerned about the paths I take and decisions I make? Of course. Should I become stressed out and uneasy? Nope. God doesn’t torment nor does He seek to make one miserably paranoid. See, if you give Satan an inch he will take a mile. We cannot be hospitable to Satan in any way. In summary, I am saying that we need to have the discernment of God to effectively identify thoughts inspired by God, our flesh, and Satan. It is important to know who is influencing our thoughts before we claim them as being ours. I find it the sweetest thing when God gives me thoughts of ways to please Him. I love when God sends me a compliment to be of encouragement as I prepare myself daily for the battle of my mind. And I simply adore when He draws pictures in my mind to help me have a blueprint of what it is He wants me to do or know. Want to know what else I find really amazing? When I am confused or uncertain, God will take time to color His drawings with His softest pastels to help my tiny brain grasp His huge and important message so that I may make sense of it all.

1 Corinthians 2:16 (NLT): “For, Who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to teach Him? But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ.”

Psalm 7:9 (NIV): “Bring to an end the violence of the wicked and make the righteous secure— you, the righteous God who probes minds and hearts.”

Jeremiah 17:10 (NIV): “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”

Luke 21:14 (NIV): “But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves.”

Luke 24:38 (NIV): “He said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds?”

Romans 7:25 (NIV): “Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.”

Romans 8:5-7 (NIV): ” ⁵ Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶ The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸ Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.”

For the past two weeks I have found myself constantly reciting 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV): ” We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” We all know that the things we think about are important.  Last week I saw an attractive young man and I felt lust rising up. Recite 2 Corinthians 10:5. I saw a female who I once didn’t care too much for and I felt unforgiveness rising up. Recite 2 Corinthians 10:5. Things were beginning to get rough with school and I began to feel so stressed out that I began thinking, “If only I had one drink.” Recite 2 Corinthians 10:5. Side note: it is a lie straight from the pit of Hell to have “one” drink or to smoke “one” blunt. That only gets the ball rolling and I don’t suggest for anyone to play games with Satan. The game Satan plays is intended to gain souls for keeps. Satan doesn’t catch fish to later through them back in the sea to live with only a punctured lip.

I will admit, it is difficult to give your mind to Christ. I met with my advisor about registering for classes next semester a few weeks ago. The conversation began with school and ended focusing on the Lord. I found myself just talking about God and how amazing He is. Sometimes I can get lost in conversation so I had to remind myself that my advisor most likely needs to meet with other students. I looked at my advisor and I was shocked to see her looking at me and smiling. I wasn’t sure if she was smiling because she was following what I was saying or simply because she wanted me to stop talking. I immediately began apologizing for my possible “rambling.” To my surprise, my advisor immediately recited Philippians 4:8 (NIV): ” Finally, brothers, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” It took me a second or two to grasp what she was saying but essentially—what I was sharing wasn’t boring her but rather was intriguing. So we talked for a couple of more minutes. Those who know me on a personal level know that I LOVE to talk and that I usually don’t need anything other than an invitation to get me started. The things I think about are the things I talk about and further are the things that influence my actions. My mind was full with thoughts concerning the righteousness of God and as a result I was super excited to talk about Him and all that He is doing in my life. These pure and righteous thoughts were producing His fruit but what happens when we have impure thoughts? Yep, they produce impure actions.

This past summer I was emailed a sermon pertaining to imagination. I would say I have an “overactive imagination.” When I was once the only child my imagination was of assistance while playing with my dollhouses and imagining exactly what an author was describing in the books I read. Especially now, maybe even then, my imagination is of more damage than help to me. Imagination takes things and can structure them into being everything they aren’t. The mind is the battlefield, which is why we are given specific instructions in Ephesians 6:17 (NIV): ” Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” If you daydream about how pitiful you think your life is do you think God is rejoicing about you being ungrateful of His blessing of even having life? Our eyes and our ears are our gateways. If you are watching porn will you not have a mind eager to replay the images? If you are listening to music that describes violence and brutality are you not conditioning your mind to operate that way? As Christians we are called to renew our mind so that Christ can overflow in our mind! God didn’t give us a troubled or perverted mind but instead He gave us a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7)! Why are you giving the doubt about the existence of God and the fear of financial instability your precious joy? Why are you letting a spirit of rejection rest in your mind after being informed about the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:19)? We set ourselves up for doom when we give a spirit of rejection a pillow and blanket so that it may find comfort in our mind! Kick those negative thoughts out! It is foolish to think you won’t feel compelled to engage in sexual activities after fantasizing about the sexual position of the day.

THE MIND OF A CHRISTIAN IS SCREAMING!

Below I have posted a series of 3 videos on having the mind of Christ. I wrote this article as God has been revealing to me how important it is to think on things inspired by Him. Thoughts clustered with lust and rebelliousness accompanied with scorn and rejection are typically thoughts that try to manipulate their intentions in my mind. But even an untrained dog will eventually urinate on the floor. If you are unsure about certain thoughts or wonder if they are pleasing to God just remember one thing: if no one else ever knows your thoughts, He does. If you only imagine God in your mind examining every thought as mentioned in (Jeremiah 17:10), your decision-making should become much more precise. From experience, it is difficult to think of Christ while thinking about some sexual desire. I am guilty of having dismissed the thought of God to ease the tension of the thoughts of lust. That is not something I am proud of but I thank God for this discomfort because it brings change and basically, it lets me know one of the thoughts has to go. Which thought leaves and which thought remains is up to me each and every time. God has been giving me mental escapes and I find myself taking advantage of them more now than in the past because I am better at recognizing the seed at conception. I kick the devil’s thoughts out of my mind more often and when Satan comes around for round 2 of temptation, God floods my mind with thoughts of power, strength and authority. No one can ever tell me Christ isn’t the best intercessor one could ask for!  Once I dispose the seed of impure thoughts, I won’t have to lament over impure actions. So after all of that, I hand my mind over to you Lord. I know Your hand is gentle yet powerfully built so with your protection, the mind that be in Christ Jesus may also be in me.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Hand Of Thee Potter

I feel led to discuss how this blog got started. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to be an author. I have always loved to read and write but I never had the confidence to truly pursue becoming an author professionally. I spent many summer days in the library and at Borders reading as many books that open hours would allow. I guess you can say that I am a bit of a bibliophile. Most people don’t know that when my friends were collecting magazines, marbles, sports cards, and shoes–I was collecting books. I have majority of the books I have read since I was 6 years old in boxes back home because I wish to one day have a library in my house. Even with this interest, the idea of writing my own book seemed too far out of my range so I decided to simply blog. I thought that then maybe I wouldn’t have to worry about being criticized about not always being grammatically correct or have to deal with the pressures that go along with entrepreneurship.

This past September I was on my way to class and as I stood waiting for the elevator I looked at a mirror in the hallway. I had two thoughts. The first was, “If you want to be an author why haven’t you consulted the Lord to see if that is something He too wishes that you pursue?” And the second, “What is in your way? What is the barrier between wanting to be an author and actually being an author?” As you have probably guessed, I did not have an answer for either of these questions. I did, however, know that it was foolish to not have consulted the Lord. And now that I think about it, THAT was in my way. I was in my own way. It would be giving the enemy too much credit to accuse him of creating a gap in the plans of God. Satan wasn’t holding me back. So who could I point the finger at? Myself. Not because I wasn’t an author writing the book I always dreamed of. But because I was still in the mindset of being stripped and stolen from when the Lord has given me a report of prosperity and progression.

A week later I was where I like to call my second home. I was awake in my room past midnight unable to sleep. I started wondering, “Why do I always feel like I have so much to say and share but yet feel like I never have enough opportunities to do so?” I began having a conversation with God and in summary, this is how it went.

Me: God, I would love to be an author.

God: You have not because you ask not (James 4:2).

Me: But God, I am not sure if I will be a successful author. I just don’t know which career to pursue anymore.

God: But I said I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

Me: Ok…But God I am not that strong of a writer. I am not always grammatically correct. I don’t have a super large vocabulary. And… And… And… God what if no one likes it?

God: You are everything that I say that you are. You will never be a good at anything without My help (Except sinning of course). Have no fear. I will give you everything you will need to complete the task (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Me: God, some of the things you are putting on my heart to share are things I don’t really care to mention. I wanted to forget about past sins. What if people look at me differently?

God: It isn’t about you. It is about Me and My business. Seek My Kingdom and I will handle the rest (Matthew 6:33).

Me: Say no more.

* I started up my computer and created an account with WordPress. I began writing my first post Claim Adoption Into the Royal Family and never looked back. I absolutely love writing articles for this blog. When I first got saved every chance I got I ran somewhere to get alone so that I could pray or read the Bible. Now, when I get free time academically or socially I run to work on a new article.*

How special it is to experience being sculpted by the Lord. Similar to what is explained in my post Where’s My Shell?, God is revealing to me the individual He has planned for me to become. I am not the person I thought I once was and I no longer want to be that person neither. The poisonous mindset of the world had me conditioned to being content with being nothing more than a beautiful whore. A whore in the physical or a whore in the spiritual, if not both. As I am constantly being purged and molded, of course I still face obstacles and struggles daily. One day I asked God, “How can I spread the Gospel when I am still struggling with imperfection?” I was worried about my sins weakening my testimony. But hey, before I was saved was I not out collecting testimonies for times like these after redemption? Again, it isn’t about me. It is all about our Father’s business. I am going through trials and tribulations because my brother and sister in Christ are struggling. Even if the struggle isn’t exactly the same, even if the struggle isn’t at the same time, and even if the person doesn’t want to admit the struggle. My struggle fighting temptation with smoking may be different from your struggle against gambling but are we not fighting the same fight?

Some may even question why God is slowly removing the pieces of the old man. Because not only would I probably go insane if He was to snatch everything at once but personally, it is helping me appreciate deliverance even more. Don’t get me wrong, God can do whatever He wants and it will be done decently and in order each time. However, He certainly knows how to deal with His children in a way that will be most effective for them. I work each day to beat down my flesh so that can I serve and worship God in Spirit and in Truth (John 4:24). And that, I believe He appreciates. Yes, I have days when I fight harder than others. Yes, sometimes I become discouraged when I see my flesh wanting to work in cahoots with the devil. Yes, I am imperfect and I have a laundry list of sins I have committed. Yes, I still experience shame associated with some of those sins. Yes, I sometimes see specks of my old man pop up. But yes on that same note, with the discernment and power of God I have the ability to recognize and demand everything that is not like Christ to go. And yes, even in moments when I feel in distress I understand that this is all a part of the process and beauty of being sculpted by the Potter’s hand.

2 Corinthians 4:7-12 (NIV): ” ⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that His life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.”

2 Corinthians 16:18 (NIV): ” ¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Isaiah 64:8 (NIV): “Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, You are the potter; we are all the work of Your hand.”

Job 10:8-12 (NIV): ” ⁸ “Your hands shaped me and made me. Will You now turn and destroy me? ⁹ Remember that You molded me like clay. Will You now turn me to dust again? ¹⁰ Did You not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese, ¹¹ clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and sinews? ¹² You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit.”

Jeremiah 18:4-6 (NIV):“ ⁴ But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. ⁵ Then the word of the LORD came to me. ⁶ He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the LORD. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in My hand, Israel.”

Jeremiah 18:1-9 (NIV)

At the Potter’s House

 ¹ This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD: ² “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” ³ So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. ⁴ But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

 ⁵ Then the word of the LORD came to me. ⁶ He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the LORD. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel. ⁷ If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, ⁸ and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. ⁹ And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, ¹⁰ and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it.

So yes, I am currently blogging as an author in training. Even if I have to recreate English as I go. I will save the precise and academically acceptable writing for school. I am at an exciting and greatly appreciated place in the Lord. I have experienced some STORMS within the past year but let me tell you… I now see only a portion of the peace God is helping me fight for. I am at a place where I feel like I actually have something to look back at. When I first came to the Lord and was going through the battle of Satan saying, “Oh no. You aren’t taking this one,” and God saying, “Oh yes I am, watch Me!” I often felt as if I couldn’t have any faith or hope because I hadn’t yet reached the end of ANY tunnel. How silly of me. I had ignored the gift of the Holy Spirit drawing me nigh as being just ONE reason that I may have hope. I was certainly a day better after I got saved than I was the day before and yes, I believe that is something worth holding on to. I am sure some of you know what I am talking about. It can make one feel discouraged trying to pull one’s feet out of miry muck that has simmered and hardened for years. But once your feet are placed on solid ground, regardless of how strong the winds are or how heavy the rain drops can be–you can look back and rejoice about where you are no longer. When I am in the rain the Lord gives me a raincoat. There has even been times when He has stood next to me holding an umbrella. And when it was time for me to really begin growing up, He gave me a suitcase with an umbrella, lamp, and raincoat dipped in the sweet scent of His word.

I feel heavy when my clay is damp but I am always refreshed when the Lord dries me in His furnace. I feel uncomfortable when the Lord reaches for the scalpel and naked when He begins carving but I ALWAYS love the new designs He gives me. Such a beautiful and clever architect He is. Shape me–Mold me–Fill me–Use me, oh Lord. Please make me an instrument that You can use. May your Hand remove the debris around and inside of this piece of clay and replace those areas with glory and righteousness. Amen.

Don’t Look Back!

I wasn’t born in a house with a garage. I was born in a house next to an alley that more often than not reeked of urine. My parents were never married. I didn’t grow up attending church every Sunday. Actuality, I remember my closest thing to attending church on the regular basis was Chapel on Wednesdays at my school. My parents never went to college. I grew up wondering what love was and allowing a spirit of rebelliousness to persuade me into partaking in almost every troubling situation that came my way. And yes, by the world’s standards my life was supposed to be another “statistic”. It was nothing but the grace of God that I wasn’t swallowed by the streets of Philadelphia or by the world as a whole. If it were up to past circumstances I would still be caught in the trachea of my hometown, the memories of my sins, and the curses chained to the sins of my ancestors. The torture and bondage of sin is like tumbling back and forth from the constant peristalsis of the esophagus until you are emptied into the worst of things, hydrochloric acid found in the stomach (or the pit of all damnation– Hell).

Everything stated in the last paragraph was to highlight that although there are adversities in my past, I am working to no longer allow myself to be defined by those circumstances. None of these past experiences determine my current and furthermore my future status in the Lord. If an issue arises in my life nothing ….I mean NOTHING….in my past is legitimate enough to be an excuse. God can change the rules of the world. When the world says ,”NO” God has the ability to say, “YES.” And when asked,”How?” He can simply answer, “Because I said so.” I am not suggesting that we shouldn’t follow the law or respect those who have authority but certainly recognize He who is REALLY in charge. Past hardships and misfortunes should not cause a gap in the life of a Christian. When has God ever declared a person crippled and thus unable to complete His tasks because of something in their past? Better yet, when has God not been able to effectively heal the crippled? Usually when we label those disabled it is by our own standards. I mean, by the standards of the world.

Consider those who are legally blind. You ever think that they aren’t as disadvantaged as we sometimes think? What if God has already shown them the beautiful things of this world before birth? What if they know EXACTLY the things we refer to but cannot find a similarity because we ineffectively describe something bigger than words? For every disadvantage God makes an advantage. In (Exodus 4:10) God didn’t tell Moses to be discouraged because of a speech impediment! God told Moses to get up and lead!!! God even instructed Aaron to assist Moses not because Moses was unable to complete the assignment but because God is just that generous. I don’t feel the need to feel regret concerning those who are deaf. They aren’t some type of faulty beings. I am sure deaf Christians can hear from the Lord just as clearly as those who aren’t. And is that not the most critical and respected type of hearing? What is the point of having physical eyes and not being able to see spiritually? Or having physical ears without being able to hear spiritually? God doesn’t make mistakes and nothing can happen unless God first signs His initials on the dotted line.

We should not pity ourselves nor should we want to be pitied by others. I won’t allow the fact that my parents never went to college to be a reason to believe that I cannot receive a degree. I won’t allow the past sins I have engaged in to detour my ability to fully serve the Lord. I won’t allow my past misconceptions about love to determine how I love others. Even as I love, I pray to always love with the love of Christ. I won’t even allow my old passion for medicine to modify the pursuit of happiness in any career God has for me. And ultimately, I won’t allow the lies of the enemy in the past to steal the joy, prosperity, and dominance given to me by the Lord. Haven’t you heard? The past is gone and the new is here (2 Corinthians 5:17) !

You ever find yourself having a hard time reminiscing on painful memories but finding time to daydream about the good ole days? I know I have. As humans we are quick to let go of the bad but want to savor the moments of the good. The statement in the picture above is sometimes what people say as they dwell on when things appear to have been better in the past. Some think on the times when they believe they were the happiest, the most popular, and the most financially stable. This mindset is especially prevalent when we hit a brick wall. We immediately think: Well if I was still….. this wouldn’t be a problem. So what if you were once rich. Was money a form of idolatry? So what if you miss your ex-spouse. Were you two unequally yoked? AND so what if things used to be so much easier. Have you not heard of trials and tribulations purifying us as fire purifies gold? (1 Peter 1:7).

Last week I sat in my two and a half hour Health Psychology class and we somehow got on the subject of Human Anatomy and Physiology. I was answering questions about topics that I forgot I had even learned. I was having so much fun. So much fun that I began to miss when I was always surrounded by the sciences. I began to miss when I was majoring in Biology aspiring to become a Dermatologist. I began to miss the medical conferences. I thought I was beginning to miss the past. For those who have not read my post, I am Going To Be A Dermatologist; God is the source concerning why I am no longer majoring in Biology and He is the reason why I now realize that my life is not my own, including my dreams and aspirations. I had to snap out of my reminiscing session. As I reflect on times spent with my old “friends” and partying habits—I sometimes feel like I am missing out on fun since coming to know the Lord. RED FLAG! RED FLAG! I know for a fact that I was previously admiring sin, flirting with death, and asking to go on dates with the devil so WHY would any of that appear favorable in my new eyes? Because more of my flesh has to die while I concentrate on bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5) .God made it clear: You don’t know what I know. I took you from that place for a reason. Now if you want to return to your own vomit, that is on you (Proverbs 26:11). But let me make it clear–I am the way and the truth and the light (John 14:6). Find refuge in Me and don’t be fooled (Psalm 31:4). Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).

I would be a fool to try and go against His system.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV): “¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Luke 9:62 (NIV): “Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

Haggai 2:9 (NIV): ” The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house, ‘says the Lord Almighty. ‘ And in the place I will grant peace,’ declares the Lord Almighty.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until I found solitude in Christ that I began to realize how much of a pity party I would sometimes have. I was so focused on the past that I was ungrateful for the present. Thankfully, I soon became conscious of the fact that nothing is more dead than the past and Matthew 22:32 (NIV) states, “He is not the God of the dead but of the living.” Don’t identify with the past if the Lord has you in a different place in the present. Do we not trust His judgment?

Genesis 19 (NIV):

Sodom and Gomorrah Destroyed

¹ The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. ² “My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.”

“No,” they answered, “we will spend the night in the square.”

³ But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate. ⁴ Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. ⁵They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.”

⁶ Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him ⁷ and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. ⁸ Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”

⁹ “Get out of our way,” they replied. “This fellow came here as a foreigner, and now he wants to play the judge! We’ll treat you worse than them.” They kept bringing pressure on Lot and moved forward to break down the door.

¹⁰ But the men inside reached out and pulled Lot back into the house and shut the door. ¹¹Then they struck the men who were at the door of the house, young and old, with blindness so that they could not find the door.

¹² The two men said to Lot, “Do you have anyone else here—sons-in-law, sons or daughters, or anyone else in the city who belongs to you? Get them out of here, ¹³ because we are going to destroy this place. The outcry to the LORD against its people is so great that he has sent us to destroy it.”

¹⁴ So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who were pledged to marry his daughters. He said, “Hurry and get out of this place, because the LORD is about to destroy the city!” But his sons-in-law thought he was joking.

¹⁵ With the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, “Hurry! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away when the city is punished.”

¹⁶ When he hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the LORD was merciful to them. ¹⁷ As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!”

¹⁸ But Lot said to them, “No, my lords, please! ¹⁹ Your servant has found favor in your eyes, and you have shown great kindness to me in sparing my life. But I can’t flee to the mountains; this disaster will overtake me, and I’ll die. ²⁰ Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it—it is very small, isn’t it? Then my life will be spared.”

²¹ He said to him, “Very well, I will grant this request too; I will not overthrow the town you speak of. ²² But flee there quickly, because I cannot do anything until you reach it.” (That is why the town was called Zoar).

²³ By the time Lot reached Zoar, the sun had risen over the land. ²⁴ Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. ²⁵ Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, destroying all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. ²⁶ But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

²⁷ Early the next morning Abraham got up and returned to the place where he had stood before the LORD. ²⁸ He looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah, toward all the land of the plain, and he saw dense smoke rising from the land, like smoke from a furnace.

²⁹ So when God destroyed the cities of the plain, he remembered Abraham, and he brought Lot out of the catastrophe that overthrew the cities where Lot had lived.

Whatever your past may be overrun with– let it go. As cliché as it may sound, the present is here for a reason. Don’t have selective memory trying to forget past sins and mistakes but wanting to hold on to the remembrance of money, fame, and old relationships. I believe God has a special place for righteous memories, missing loved ones, and encouraging events. However, I also believe that if we have our focus on God this aspect of our lives will be settled accordingly. Nothing will be able to grip our attention and primarily our mind to a point where we ignore what He is doing in our lives currently. I don’t want to be defined by my past years spent shaped in iniquity but rather by my current and future position in the Lord. Thank you God for the willingness to change and perfect my trajectory. Thank You.

Be Specific, Not Ashamed

James 5:16 (NIV): “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

For the past few weeks I have been thinking about the importance of sharing our testimonies with others. I mean I often think of sharing testimonies with others but I am currently referring to the sins we’ve committed that we think are the heaviest and most burdensome. This misconception is why an individual may find it easier to confess being a liar when compared to confessing being an adulterer. It is important to identify and discard the idea of thinking some sins are heavier than others because that isn’t supported by the Word. James 2:10 (NIV): “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” It is important to recognize that sin is sin and God doesn’t instruct us to hide any specific type of transgression. Place it all at His feet.

Many months ago I once said that there are some things I would NEVER share. I was making empty promises because let me tell you…It hasn’t even been 6 months since I first made that statement and yes, as you can guess, I shared some of my “deepest” and “darkest” secrets. It isn’t a bad thing to share and confess seeing that it is a miraculous experience to be set free by the Truth! The song posted above really engaged my thoughts about being specific in conversations with others. Philippians 2:4 (NIV): “Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” The song is essentially asking God to take away one’s shame and in the same breath asking God to shine His light through them. There are no secrets in Christ Jesus (John 18:20, Matthew 10:26).

As I write this article I am writing it to whomever may be reading it but first I am writing about this concern to myself. Earlier this week I was speaking with a classmate. The conversation began with a simple, “Hey !” but ended with a feeling of accomplishment….well at least for me. At the time that I spoke with my classmate she mentioned the feeling of “backsliding” in her relationship with the Lord, a new battle with the vice of alcohol consumption, and rocky relationships with others. I am no specialist but I can personally attest to the experience of God delivering me from alcohol addiction. As far as rocky relationships? I am constantly asking God to restore His ordained relationships and to remove those that He forbids. I am only saying that I can relate. Consequently, we talked for so long that I was almost late for my next class. You never know how the Holy Spirit will move so I am no longer surprised when things don’t go as I had planned. In conclusion, I was able to share with her my past experience with alcohol addiction. She appeared to be surprised to know that I was once in bondage to a spirit of alcoholism that later presented opportunities for greater entanglement with a spirit of anger. Reflecting on the many weekends I spent hungover is not my favorite thing to do during my spare time but I am proud to proclaim that Christ is the reason why I am no longer. And to think, shame would have kept my mouth closed!

Lets examine a scenario. Imagine having been out of school for two weeks because of a reason beyond your control. When you arrive back to school you find out that everyone did horribly on the last test so the teacher decided to give everyone a second attempt on the most missed questions. After you get caught up on upcoming assignments, the teacher allows the class to partner up to discuss questions they may have regarding the material and to share the answers they had gotten correct. Notice that the teacher gave permission and even encouraged that the individuals help each other. You look around the room and you see everyone working diligently so you immediately become optimistic hoping that your partner will share what is necessary for you to do well on the next test. An hour passes and when you ask your partner for answers or inquire about what to expect on the next exam your partner constantly responds, “Oh, just some stuff.” You look at your partner and ask, “So do you understand how you got the answer? I am a bit confused. Would you mind giving me insight on how you learned how to solve the problem correctly? Then your partner answers, ” Well, I just looked some stuff up online, tried a few things, and then pieces began to fall into place.” —– You would be beyond frustrated right? Well imagine those who are dealing with more serious matters. Think of those who are more than frustrated and are burdened by tormenting, sorrow, and utter desolation. I am a firm believer in the fact that God sometimes kills two birds with one stone. Similar to the strategy used by the teacher in this scenario, our Teacher may be presenting opportunities to take another step closer to becoming free as we help free others. Our obedience or disobedience never stops His show but regardless, do what He tells you to do.

Confessing to God FIRST!! When things are first made right with Him, He may then give instructions regarding how and what to share with others.

Psalm 32:5 (NIV): “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgression to the LORD.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.”

Be specific! You never know who may be waiting and listening for you to share a part of your testimony that they can relate to. This of course should agree with the commands God has given you. There has been times when He has told me to be vague with someone because that person wasn’t in a place to receive what it was I could have shared or merely because at that moment I wasn’t strong enough to share it. Exodus 4:12 (NIV): ” Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” The Holy Spirit is faithful in all things, including guiding conversations to set captives free. You never want to do more damage than help. If God has called you to plant a seed, don’t go around trying to water or nourish them.

Be mindful of the person who may feel the way you one day felt. The person who may be sitting in an audience waiting to know that they aren’t alone in a specific battle. While you may be speaking generally about lust there may be a person yearning to discuss their battle against fornication…or masturbation…or beastility. You may be mentioning past addictions ditching and dodging certain words or phrases while someone in the crowd may be anticipating conversation about alcoholism or specific drugs addictions. Would you want to leave someone in the dark because of the shame you associate with a specific sin you’ve committed in the past??? I mean seriously, envision if the extra help and comfort God has given you was hiding testimonies not because God told them to but because they were too ashamed? I know for myself I would be thinking, forget your shame and lets discuss the issue at hand.

Beat condemnation from Satan to the punch. Condemnation is not from God and thus will not have the ability to taunt you if you place your sins at the altar. I am speaking from experience. I was once the queen of beating around the bush when it came time to confessing sin. HONESTLY: Sometimes I still feel tempted to have “selective discussions.” But on the other end I LOVE when others are specific and completely honest while sharing testimonies with me. Talk about wanting to take it all but not wanting to give anything. Thankfully, God is changing that.

If you’re a murderer then don’t say you didn’t really kill someone when you did. If you have a history of stealing don’t go around stating that you were just borrowing merchandise. If you were once in bondage to alcoholism don’t try to use the infamous “Jesus drank wine” excuse. When confessing sins and sharing them with others, there isn’t any place for kind of(s) or sort of(s). State what it is for what it is. Remain focused on the proposal that you can be the vessel God is using to help bring comfort and support to someone else. Proverbs 28:13 (NIV): “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” Everything the enemy means for evil God will change for good so He may be edified. So be specific and kick shame to the curb.

How Am I Lookin’?

Could you imagine not looking into a mirror for a whole day? Week? Month? Year?? I think we all can agree that it is safe to assume that we would look as crummy as we could only imagine. Our hair would probably be as out-of-place as an amateur bird’s nest while our faces would be freckled with old and discolored condiments. To prevent this we keep pocket mirrors handy, take constant bathroom breaks, and even check our rear-view mirrors before we get out of the car.

Take a moment and think about how much time you spend looking into the mirror each day. Personally, I only look at a mirror when I happen to cross one but when I do, I LOOK as thoroughly as possible! We sometimes become so plagued by the thoughts of being embarrassed that we constantly check on ourselves to see how we are lookin’. No one wants to be caught looking any less than what society considers acceptable or polished.

Discomfort or a disliking brings change, right? Or at least it should. If I look in the mirror and my hair is out-of-place, I comb it. If my eyebrows need to be smoothed down, I get to smoothin’. If I see a pimple growing, I immediately reach for my Noxema. I am sure you get my point. My next question is, why do we sometimes trust the mirror made out of glass more than we trust our spiritual mirror, which is the Word of God? Compared to as frightening as we can become physically from the lack of looking into a natural mirror, we are even more hideous spiritually when we don’t make use of our spiritual mirror.

About a week or two ago I went to the grocery store to buy a few things. After spending about 15 minutes of being on the phone and glancing at each item in every isle I decided to go home before I began to buy unnecessary snacks. I had a case of water at the bottom of my cart so when I reached the register I immediately checked with the cashier to make sure that I wouldn’t have to pick up the heavy 24 pack of water and put it on the counter. Plus, I wanted her to know there was a case under the cart so that I could pay for it. The cashier assured me that I did not have to pick up the case of water and that she could put it in the system by its code. After paying for my items and receiving my receipt the Holy Spirit began leading me to look at my receipt. However, I didn’t want to because I knew exactly what the Holy Spirit was leading me to do. I hadn’t been charged for the water. I began to walk out of the grocery store as I was thinking about how I could use the extra money for gas. I only made about 3 steps until I took the receipt out of my pocket and asked the cashier if she rang up the water. The cashier who appeared to be young, maybe even a college student, stated that she hadn’t charged me for the water. The cashier appeared to be half in distress about the possibility of her supervisor knowing that she had almost mistakenly “given” away merchandise. As a college student I can relate to coping with the pressures of performing well at the workplace. On the other hand, she appeared to be shocked that I turned around to give what I owed. I didn’t even have to look at the receipt because I knew exactly what the issue was. I pulled out my wallet to pay for the water, partially disappointed in myself for attempting to leave without paying but slightly happy with the fact that I took heed to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. In the past, I never put a huge emphasis on having or gaining money but I definitely have had a manipulative and rebellious nature about myself that would try to get over simply because I could. This experience was clearly a test and reminds me of the story in the Bible about Ananias and Sapphira.

Ananias and Sapphira

Acts 5:1-10 (NIV):

¹ Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. ²With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet.³ Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? ⁴ Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human beings but to God.” ⁵ When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. ⁶ Then some young men came forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him.⁷ About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. ⁸ Peter asked her, “Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?”“Yes,” she said, “that is the price.”⁹ Peter said to her, “How could you conspire to test the Spirit of the Lord? Listen! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also.” ¹⁰ At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband. ¹¹ Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events.”

I read the story about Ananias and Sapphira not too long ago so the consequences they faced are fresh in my memory. If someone had asked me if I was a thief or if I would lie to get something for free, I would have said no. Which, again is why we can’t trust our natural mirrors because the reflection of the Word showed me something different. Fortunately, I surrendered to the conviction of the Holy Spirit so that I didn’t act on what I thought was most logical but rather followed the righteousness steps of the Holy Spirit. I am glad I turned around and acknowledged the help of God because I believe as much as I constantly check with God to see what transgressions I have made against Him, He would have brought me back to this situation. Anyone who is serious about serving the Lord will leave wherever they are and whatever they are doing to do what is righteous and just to be free of conviction of the Holy Spirit. To me it feels like God is tapping me on my shoulder and saying, “Hey, you told me that you want to serve me. Let me help you be righteous so that I may be pleased. Even if I have to tap you for hours and days on end, no worries because mercifully, I don’t grow weary.” Thank God for conviction.

2 Corinthians 3:18 (KJV): “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

James 1:23-25 (NIV): “²³ Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror ²⁴ and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. ²⁵ But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”

1 Corinthians 13:12 (NIV): ” Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I am in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

The enemy wants one to see an illusion like the picture below. The devil will have one tricked into believing they are spiritually fit when they have been running with the devil for so long that their running patterns are synchronized with his. Even on the other extreme, Satan can have one believe that they are still struggling with something that God has dismissed out of one’s life. Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44)–why would one ever believe anything he has to say? We cannot make justifications from our own knowledge or understanding because our carnal nature makes us vulnerable to the tricks of the enemy. This is how the mind of individuals who are wonderfully and fearfully made become distorted with corrupt thoughts that lead to disorders such as bulimia and anorexia (Psalm 139:14). Or even how individuals are quick to point out the speck in another’s eye but disregard the plank in their own eye (Matthew 7:3). Only God can and will honestly tell you how you are lookin’— by His standards and not by the standards of the world.

Dont just reflect, reflect with a desire to change. As mentioned in a paragraph above, we must trust the reflection of the Bible even MORE than we trust the reflection of the natural mirror. When we see something unappealing in our natural mirrors, we are quick to move. Lets not act like our shoes are made out of bricks when the Word reveals spiritual misconduct. The Bible will tell you that you are a thief when the world tells you that you are only taking what is yours. The Bible will tell you that you are committing adultery when the world tells you that looking and fantasizing doesn’t hurt. And most importantly, the Bible will tell you that the only way to the Father is through the Son (John 14:6) when the world tells you that there is only one God but many avenues leading to Him. The last example is essential in effective spiritual reflection because until recognition and acceptance regarding Christ as one’s Lord and Saviour, everything else is unobtainable. Remember, never put trust in man or the natural things of this world because it will leave you shattered and traumatized.

I Will Wait For You

Watch video

You know the quote, “When you’re single, all you see are happy couples. And when you’re taken, all you see are happy singles?” I had never been familiar with this quote until recently. I must admit, I cannot relate much to this quote simply because in the past I never paid much attention to anyone else other than myself. However, now I hear this quote all too often from close friends and associates, all who find each relationship more complicated than the last. God has been dealing with me regarding the topic of righteous relationships and marriage. I would like to share the insight I have gained.

I will be honest; in the past I never put much thought into marriage. I guess you could say that I had given up hope before I had any. My perception was that marriage was something that people did only to reassure that they would always have company and a home to crash at by the end of the night. My perspective concerning marriage had been skewed by the many adulterous and “roommate” marriages I had witnessed. When someone brought up the idea of marriage I immediately said, ” I don’t have to get married to be cheated on” or  “How can I love and be with someone for the rest of my life? (Notice I was even too foolish to recognize that my life is not my own) or even the infamous, “No one will ever love me enough to want to marry me and be with me for forever.” As I reflect on my old perspective on marriage all I see is negativity. I think my own inability to recognize, give, and receive love played a role in 50% of this. Even if a married couple had been righteously made one, I am unsure if back then I would have been able to identify it. But even if I had been able to distinguish the truest and purest love, I know for a fact that I would have believed that I was undeserving of such love.

After sharing my old mindset on love and marriage I am sure it isn’t a surprise to mention the role I used to play when I talked to guys. I never allowed a guy to get too close because of the fear of feeling vulnerable but I somehow allowed them to get close enough so that I felt that I was in control. Being controlling made me feel secure and almost as if I didn’t have the ability to be hurt. With new eyes I now see that I was more than hurt, I was bruised and I was the bruiser! I was helping a layer of lies about relationships and intimacy to build. Intimacy isn’t all about sexual relations. True intimacy is when one can talk about the most private and personal things, like the love and zeal one experiences in their relationship with Christ. I cannot speak for everyone, but talking about my walk in Christ is one of the most personal and intimate conversations I can have. Conversation is intimate. Time spent can be intimate. There is an umbrella of things that fall under intimacy but I just wanted to demonstrate how intimacy extends well beyond just sexual contact.

Like mentioned in the paragraph above, I wanted to be the person in control at all times. My goal was to be smooth enough to catch a guy off guard and even to have him eager to see what slick statement I would have to say next. Once I got saved I still had pieces of this in my heart. In the past I wasn’t aware that although I didn’t want to be in a relationship someone, I still didn’t want to see them in a relationship with some else. Yea, I was pretty selfish in that sense. I had a conversation with someone once and she pointed out that everything I did with a guy was inspired by selfish thinking. Even when I decided to give all of myself to God, I was still operating with the old mind subconsciously. I started to make this a focus in prayer, that I may think and act righteously. I began to pray that I take on the role God had given me even if it meant that I would one day have to be submissive, vulnerable, and sensitive. God is stripping me of the old flirtatious nature and replacing it with innocence and integrity. Some things are only meant to be experienced in marriage so even if I never have the chance to be emotionally attached to a man God has set aside for me, I am content with recognizing all things that are good in His eyes. In Christ, being submissive doesn’t make a path to be walked all over, but to remove room for pride. In Christ, being vulnerable shouldn’t cause heartbreak, it should remove walls of fear and barriers that don’t trust the love of God. In Christ, being sensitive doesn’t make one a punk (a big one for me) but instead allows one to first be sensitive to the Spirit of God. God honors marriage (Hebrews 13:4), why should I frown upon it?

Proverbs 31 (NIV):

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

 ¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find? 
   She is worth far more than rubies. 
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her 
 and lacks nothing of value. 
¹² She brings him good, not harm, 
 all the days of her life. 
¹³ She selects wool and flax 
 and works with eager hands. 
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships, 
 bringing her food from afar. 
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night; 
 she provides food for her family 
 and portions for her female servants. 
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it; 
 out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously; 
 her arms are strong for her tasks. 
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable, 
 and her lamp does not go out at night. 
¹⁹ in her hand she holds the distaff 
 and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor 
 and extends her hands to the needy. 
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household; 
 for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 
²² She makes coverings for her bed; 
 she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate, 
 where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them, 
 and supplies the merchants with sashes. 
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity; 
 she can laugh at the days to come. 
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom, 
 and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household 
 and does not eat the bread of idleness. 
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed; 
 her husband also, and he praises her: 
²⁹ “Many women do noble things, 
 but you surpass them all.” 
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; 
 but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done, 
 and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”

It feels just like yesterday that I prayed that specific prayer to God. I was praying it not because I wanted to be in a relationship but because I knew that my actions and thinking was not in agreement with His word. I shouldn’t have been shocked (although I was) when God began showing me how a righteous relationship should be. At one point I began to feel like I was “over” guys because they appeared to sing the same song only in a different tune. I completely overlooked that I was a work in progress too. God started off by refreshing my memory of what an unrighteous relationship is like. The type of relationship that is filled with unrighteous touching and groping, founded on lies, and sealed with materialism. I wasn’t over guys but I was certainly over that.

On a lighter note, I greatly appreciate the night God allowed me to experience last week. The night was filled with laughter, conversations about school, childhood experiences, and ended with prayer/Bible study. It felt so good to spend time not feeling obligated to do something unrighteous afterward. Not even a, “Hey want to come to my room and watch a movie” when it is 12 am and both individuals know that no one will be watching anything. ( I mean that for both males and females). Don’t get me wrong, God deals with everyone differently. I am not saying that anything is wrong with spending time in each other’s room but notice that if you struggle with lust, God won’t put you in a position where saying no to sin seems more difficult than not. This gentleman and I went to prayer not because it appeared to be the religious thing to do but rather because as we are seeking God, we desperately yearn to press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14). Someone who genuinely loves and desires to serve God won’t get bored about talking about God. It won’t even appear to be boring. Not saying that conversations cannot be about other things but keep in mind the loyalty. If someone isn’t loyal and passionate for Christ, once they have committed adultery in their relationship with Christ, you aren’t far behind.

I want to give food for thought for those who are seeking God and are currently in a relationship. Even to those who have been in relationships in the past, which left them feeling hurt and damaged. First examine your relationship from every spectrum. What type of fruit is your relationship producing? Are you two doing anything that can get both of you sent to hell? I had a conversation with someone about two months ago. This gentleman mentioned how he was so distraught over the way his last relationship ended. He said he was truly in love with his ex-girlfriend but that she no longer loved him. Throughout the conversation he also kept mentioning how the plan was for them to get married but now he is confused because she couldn’t even stand to be around him. I first thought about a conversation the gentleman and I had over the summer about him and his ex-girlfriend fornication and engaging in other activities that we both know the Lord was not giving them the desire to pursue. The best advice I could give was to consult the Lord. You won’t be madly in love with someone and they not be madly in love with you too, if God has ordained for you two to be together. God will put the desire in the heart of both individuals to want to be married. A person who loves with a pure heart won’t do something that will send both of you to hell. Are they pressuring you to fornicate? Use drugs? Be deceitful? Or are YOU doing any of these things? Ask these questions to yourself. Remember, He doesn’t do anything by half.

SOME OF US HAVE BEEN FOOLED!

Having sex? Has to be one of the most beautiful things in the Lord. How about just cuddling? Can’t be much without the Lord. Saying I love you and meaning it? Impossible if we are outside of the Lord. Being loyal? Unheard of if we have no loyalty to the Lord. Being changed from the old cheater/liar? Insane if we hadn’t been made new in the Lord. One of our main goals while seeking a relationship is to not be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14). The Bible doesn’t mention a whole bunch of dating, boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. Courting is sometimes necessary but the intent is for things to end in marriage. God won’t lead us to live with someone for years as if we are married if we aren’t. Again, He does things decently and in order (1 Corinthians 14:40). Additionally, everyone who is saved and knows the Lord won’t be the person you are supposed to marry. Some individuals may simply have been put in your life to be friends and/or siblings in Christ. The same way we had friends in the world, we need to be equipped with new friends in Christ.

I would never want my kids to grow up like I did, sometimes feeling like a nomad because I had to pack up to go travel back and forth to my mother’s and father’s house. My parents did the best they could, working and sacrificing so that I may have the best of everything. The issue wasn’t what I had or lacked. The issue was that my parents had a strong disliking for each other and I was in the middle, not wanting to decide which parent was my favorite but constantly questioned about whom would I rather live with. You cannot measure the love of a father nor the love of a mother so the questioning game was pointless. I could only come up with, ” I want to live with both of you.” My personal experience is clearly not identical to the experiences of others but it is personal and relevant to me and has played a huge role in me deciding how I would like my household to be set up. There is something truly special about a child seeing both their father and mother together, married and held together by the third strand–God (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Not to say that my marriage (If I ever get married) will be perfect but I pray that it is Holy. My future children (If I have children) will at least know how to identify a righteous and upright marriage for the time when they have to cross that road. Some believe that we should have control over who we marry. Why would we pray to God about guidance over temporary financial situations and not want Him to shape and mold the person we will spend our lives with? We have to be logical.

Fortunately, to help my view and perspective on marriage develop, God has allowed me to witness seeing a God-fearing marriage firsthand. I mentioned in an earlier article about a woman who I identified as being similar to a mother-in-Christ. It may sound cliché but the marriage shared between her and her husband is beautiful to say the least and I don’t mean beautiful in a worldly sense. I mean beautiful in a sense that they recognize their mission in life, to be an instrument of Christ. The real magnificence in it all is that Christ gave them to each other to be instruments individually and collectively. It is exciting to think that I wouldn’t have to be alone in my daily battle. In addition to God and His army, I may have a husband, willing to lay down his life for me (Ephesians 5:25).

Genesis 2:22-24(NIV): “²² Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.²³ The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” ²⁴ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Proverbs 18:22 (NIV): ” He who finds a wife finds what is good and received favor from the Lord.”

Matthew 19: 4-6 (NIV): “  ⁴ “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ ⁵ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? ⁶ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

1 Corinthians 7:1-16 (NIV): ” ¹ Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” ² But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. ³ The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. ⁵ Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.⁶ I say this as a concession, not as a command. ⁷ I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. ⁸ Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.⁹ But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.¹⁰ To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. ¹¹ But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.¹² To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. ¹³ And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. ¹⁴ For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.  ¹⁵ But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. ¹⁶ How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”

First and foremost, before I even get close to marriage (I mention being married and having children only if it has been ordained by God), I must first be the bride of the Groom. My commitment to Christ is a reflection of every other relationship I am or will be involved in. Perhaps Maya Angelou best captures my sentiments with her quote, “A woman should be so hidden in God that he has to go through Him to get to her.” In conclusion, if God has ordained for me to be married, I pray that he is being patient also, because God isn’t finished with me yet.

I Want A Spirit of Power, Not Fear

Talk about a scary individual–for me that was understatement. I used to be a walking time bomb, easily set off by something as simple as someone jumping from behind me and yelling “Boo!” My favorite statement used to be, “But I am scared.” Everything from sleeping in the complete dark to watching television shows about criminals would cause me to become fearful…… It was/is absolutely ridiculous. To some, the things I used to fear may appear to be super silly or maybe even a joke but living outside of the Lord leaves us vulnerable to the tricks of the enemy. I was being tricked into believing I was or eventually would be a victim of every negative thing possible.

Take a moment and think about how you would define fear. According to Dictionary.com the definition of fear is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. I wanted to define fear to make sure we at least have a general idea of what fear is. Focusing on the definition of fear is necessary because contrary to what I used to (and many others) believe, there is an umbrella of things that are classified as and induced by fear.

Is it wrong to experience fear? Of course not. Jesus’ disciples experienced fear. The issue comes in when we allow fear to prosper. When we willfully allow ourselves to be fearful as Christians we are essentially saying, “God I know I am afraid and in essence I am throwing away my trust, hope, and faith in you and giving authority to this fear.” When we remain fearful we are throwing away the trust in God that shuts down the ideas of fear having the ability to prevail over the power of God. When we remain fearful we give up our hope of believing in Scripture and its validity. When we remain fearful we lose our faith to fear because we disregard the victory Christ gained on the cross.

I used to say, “No big deal. Everyone fears something at some point.” I had to let that philosophy go when I read Revelation 21:8 (NIV): “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars–theirs will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” After reading this verse I began to view fear differently. I was in awe to think that being fearful could be the reason why I spend eternity in hell. It makes sense though, because while doing the Father’s business there is no place for fear. If He sends us into a country that is in the midst of war and we are in bondage to fear then we can already conclude that we have lost the war. Again, He won’t throw us into the lion’s den without an escape. And that is not to say that the escape will be what we imagine because God doesn’t care about the flesh, He cares about our soul.

Mark 4: 35-41 (NIV):

Jesus Calms the Storm

³⁵ That day when evening came, He said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” ³⁶ Leaving the crowd behind, they took Him along, just as He was, in the boat. There were also other boats with Him. ³⁷ A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. ³⁸ Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” ³⁹ He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

⁴⁰ He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

⁴¹ They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him!”

Most importantly what I extracted from this story in the Bible was that while Jesus slept He had control over the situation. WHILE HE WAS SLEEP! Now we know that sleep was necessary for Christ only because He was in the flesh but we also know that He is now in the heavenly realms and He does not slumber nor does He sleep (Psalm 121:4). What do we need to fear when we serve a God who has exercised authority even in His sleep? Thank God man isn’t in charge because I know that for myself, I am as useful as a log while I sleep. That is why no one or no situation is too big or scary enough to cause us to be fearful. Don’t fear people, God tells us not to fear one who can only kill the flesh but has no say about the death of the soul. That was a big one for me because every crazy killing or kidnapping I heard about, I became paranoid that I would be next. It was bizarre, I know, but all thinking outside of Christ is foolish. Personally, some of my fear comes from childhood experiences but although those experiences have crippled me with fear for several years, lo and behold, He came to make all things new! Those old experiences cannot keep me in bondage to fear any longer, thank you Jesus.

Exodus 20:20 (NLT): “Don’t be afraid,” Moses answered them, “for God has come in this way to test you, and so that your fear of Him will keep you from sinning!”

1 Peter 3: 14 (NLT): “But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats.”

2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT): “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

Matthew 10:31 (NIV): “So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

Luke 12:32 (NIV): “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.”

1 John 4:18 (NIV): “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

Matthew 10:28 (NIV): “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”

Romans 8:15 (NIV): “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by Him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

Isaiah 54:4 (NIV): “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV): “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Jeremiah 1:8 (NIV): “Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD.”

Mark 5:36 (NLT): “But Jesus overheard them and said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid. Just have faith.”

Psalm 91: 4-8 (NTL): “ ⁴He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. 
 ⁵Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. 
 6 Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. 
 ⁷ Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. 
 ⁸ Just open your eyes, and see how the wicked are punished.”

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV): “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. 
I will strengthen you and help you; 
   I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:13 (NIV): “For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand 
and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”

Psalm 56:3-4 (NIV): “³When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. ⁴ In God, whose word I praise— 
in God I trust and am not afraid.What can mere mortals do to me?”

Psalm 23:4 (NIV): “Even though I walk 
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; 
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Psalm 27:1 (NIV): “The LORD is my light and my salvation—– whom shall I fear? 
The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?”

As I have gotten older my fears became more than just being afraid of “the boogie-man.” I certainly have had my share of worry and stress regarding things we face in every day experiences. I have a history of worrying about everything—health, grades, my career goals, my salvation–everything you could possibly think of, especially things that didn’t affect me personally but pertained to family and close friends. Trying to figure out why we worry is pretty simple isn’t it? Something we are uncertain about or something that is a little shaky can cause us to WORRY…FEAR! Worrying might as well be another word for fear although I never looked at it that way until recently. Why was I worrying? Because I wasn’t having confidence in the Lord to provide me with good grades, a career, and to protect my family and friends etc.

Like I mentioned before, experiencing fear is a human characteristic. We have the emotion for a reason. However, the only positive thing that comes from fear is when it is associated with having fear and reverence for the Lord. It is respect, not tension or anxiety. My struggle with eliminating all fear out of my life still remains a current battle because I have been operating with a spirit of fear for so long that Christ has to help me identify what I am fearful of and how it affects me from day-to-day. I have operating italicized because I mean operating in a very minimal sense. Fear paralyzes so I definitely wasn’t operating in a way that God means for us to operate. I was merely operating enough to live a functional life but I wasn’t living as if Christ died to give me life more abundantly.

Many of the verses listed above are personal and relevant to my battle with fear. I spent many days and nights reciting those verses as I had them written on post-its and placed above my bed in my dorm. When I began to feel fearful, all I had to do was look up and recite Scripture. That was in the beginning of coming to know the Lord and the enemy did everything in his power to manipulate me into thinking that those verses were not alive and active. My doubt and second guessing fed that manipulation but I was determined to continue reading the verses because I knew that I had to start from somewhere. I hoped that once the verses were received by my spirit, the Holy Spirit could begin to bear witness to the Scriptures I was reading over and over again.

I would never want Christ to say to me, “Oh you of little faith.” That is one of the statements that automatically encourages me to shake off any areas in my life that is filled by anything that counteracts faith. It is such a blessing to have grown from the extremely fearful person I used to be. I am still a work in progress but I don’t find myself unable to sleep because of something that was merely a mental game. I don’t encourage anyone to play games with the devil. I pray that I have the mind of Christ and that I continuously have my mind on good, positive things. As I go day-to-day and explore and learn new things, I pray that stress and worry, which sometimes tries to come masked as something other than fear, are pushed out of my mind by thoughts of power, love, and a sound mind. I try to keep in the forefront of my mind that God is bigger than all of my fears. Any and everything that I could possibly worry or stress about, He has it all in His hand. I want it out of presence because I can’t do anything with the trash anyway. So I give it to Him and I make it a daily obligation to not ask for it back.

I am Going To Be A Dermatologist

Thoughts of reaching a point where I had Jones, M.D. on my personal desk was all that clouded my mind for years. I grew up playing with Chemistry sets and looking at water under microscopes. I was never big on watching television but when I did, my eyes were glued to Animal Plant. I went from wanting to be a Hydrologist to wanting to be a Veterinarian then later a Psychologist but eventually settled on becoming a Dermatologist. When I was nominated to participate in  “doctor camp” at a university near my home while still in high school, I was sold. I had the opportunity to get a taste of what it would be like to be a student in medical school.  I learned how to create medical memorandums, how to stitch up wounds, and how to administer blood pressure checks. I didn’t even bother looking into other careers because I just knew becoming a doctor was for me.

Entering my freshman year of undergrad I wanted to major in Psychology but was told by several people that I had to major in Biology to get accepted into medical school. I was upset to have to change my major but I was willing to do whatever was necessary to become the doctor everyone (including myself) was anticipating. I now know that majoring in anything with a pre-medical concentration can get one into medical school–evidence of how seeking advice from man can lead to confusion. My parents were ecstatic and I thought I had everything figured out. I was going to be a Dermatologist and there was nothing in my way.  My parents were happy. I was happy. Medicine seemed to be what I was most familiar with and what I only really cared about–perfect. My parents were even networking with doctors at Temple University and University of Pennsylvania on my behalf. I was enrolled in a Chemistry course for Chemistry majors and I was proud to say that I was holding my own, although I had no special interest in Chemistry. After many nights without sleep and days spent in the library I received an offer to study medicine in China or Australia for a summer. All of the good news had me on an artificial high. Everything was perfect…. until about 6 months later.

My back was against a wall. I went from getting 98% on Chemistry tests to hoping I could get an 85%. I went from reading a chapter in Biology a week ahead of time to being 5 chapters behind. I will admit that the Lord had been putting on my heart to change my major and that maybe becoming a physician was something He hadn’t ordained for me. I began hating every class I was enrolled in. I was behind in my work because I wasn’t studying, going to class, or even paying attention when I actually went to class. I was miserable in the back of every class and I didn’t care to even pretend that I wanted to be there. I loved the enthusiasm some of the other students had but for me–mine was long gone. I hated everything I was doing starting with when I entered the classroom and had to sign my name on the attendance sheet. I even began considering dropping out of college because I knew that the issue was solely that I didn’t have any drive or ambition to learn the content being covered. I learned that it is different when you decide how much of something you do and when someone else tells you how much of it you have to do. This is when I began to panic.

For a couple more months I went back and forth with the idea of changing my major. My two biggest issues with changing my major was that I didn’t feel as though I was good at anything else other than medicine and that most people change their major from Biology because of the inability to keep up with the work. I had too much pride to let anyone even think I wasn’t able to learn and comprehend the material. But in all actuality, my lack of caring to even DO my work was what was really pathetic. After swallowing my pride I changed my major to Psychology and declared a minor in Philosophy. I wasn’t saved at the time but I currently recognize the hand of the Lord and how He was guiding me the entire time. I felt like I was taking a chance and I was certainly hoping it was a smart one because it was already time to begin registering for classes for my junior year.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV): “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 

Isaiah 58:11 (NIV): “The LORD will guide you always;  He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”

Psalm 37:23 (NIV): “The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him.”

Proverbs 16:9 (NIV): “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.”

Proverbs 3:5 (NIV): “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

Psalm 48:14 (NIV): “For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our guide even to the end.”

Jeremiah 10:23 (NIV): Jeremiah’s Prayer “LORD, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps.”

Psalm 37: 4-6 (NIV): “⁴ Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. ⁵ Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him and He will do this: ⁶ He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.”

I have always had an interest in Psychology because it has a combination of Human (brain) Anatomy and Physiology, with an ounce of intellect. I guess it is safe to say that my first Psychology class in high school was the first class to really spark interest in what I would consider to do as a profession. Examining the job description and annual income of a Clinical Psychologist really got my ambition flowing. I at one point thought I wanted to become a Clinical Psychologist because it almost felt like second nature for people to come to me with their issues and I somehow happened to see the light at the end of the tunnel. As I look back, I shake my head at the fact that while I was still of the world, I was giving worldly wisdom. If anyone has received advice from someone who is still in the world they know that advice from someone not grounded in the Lord can place one on a worse path than they were on when they started their journey. If Christ gives me a heart and mind to give advice to someone pertaining to something He has already brought me through, I feel much more comfortable simply because I am now being led by the Holy Spirit. I no longer desire to be a Clinical Psychologist but I do pray that more Psychologists and Psychiatrists grow to know the Lord because there are too many doctors pushing pills and not enough understanding and exposing the truth about spiritual influences on the mind.

Shortly after I made the major/minor change I acknowledged that I would be beginning to study a field that didn’t necessarily embrace the Lord for who He truly is. My goal though, especially with Philosophy is to understand their language. I am all about learning their perspective and comparing it to the Word to effectively bring enlightenment. How can I speak about what I don’t know about? It would be very difficult to minister to someone who has a hard time accepting what it is you have to say merely because they know that you don’t have any knowledge on their philosophy of things. I ask the Lord as I study and learn the material of my major and minor that I never mix up His Word and the world’s word. He acknowledges my prayer. Last semester my Philosophy teacher didn’t care for me too much once we reached the chapter on God and the idea of a supreme being. Of course I wasn’t going to sit there and allow lies to fester when the Lord has revealed the Truth in my life. I was more than happy to share the wisdom God has shared with me. Honestly, the teacher and a few classmates weren’t too happy about me breaking down Scripture and the existence of God. To my surprise I wasn’t discouraged by the evil looks and smart remarks considering that was the first time I spoke publicly on the existence of God and the relevance of Scripture. The nerves I usually experience during public speaking didn’t matter because when the time came, the Holy Spirit gave me the things to say and I said them. The Word is so powerful that even an atheist has to agree at some point. Lets be realistic–it gets frustrating running from the Truth.

Even currently as I take classes in Psychology and Philosophy I find myself interested in the content I am learning but thankful to be able to have the Truth of God with me to keep my mind sober (1 Peter 4:7) and protected from being soaked in the poison of the world. I am pretty simple when it comes to my preferences in academics. If I can read, converse, and enhance my critical thinking and analytical skills—I am a happy camper. I am finally majoring in something that keeps my attention and encourages me to go the extra mile to complete and understand the material.

I find it very interesting that as I had been working on this article for the past week that I have been asked about my major change close to 10 times. As I gave the individual’s my reasoning for changing my major it gave me time to brainstorm. Sometimes once we conquer hurdles we forget how the battle really happened. I am thoroughly grateful to be at peace with my major/minor/career goals. I was so stressed and frustrated trying to find missing pieces to a puzzle that only a preeminent being would be able to see decently and in order. I went from being confused, lost and undetermined to being assured that God has the most beautiful and divine plan for my life.

God says that if we delight in Him that He will give us our heart’s desires (Psalm 37:4) but He also has the ability to put desires in our heart. There are some careers that I believe I would enjoy pursuing and there are also some that I feel would be the ideal profession. When I have thoughts of pursuing some of the careers that make me feel like they were created specifically for me, I first pray to God and acknowledge that although I have dreams and aspirations, I would rather His will be done than mine. After praying to God and announcing the desires of my heart I give them to Him to shape, mold, crop, copy, and paste the ideas and eagerness. It always blows my mind when God combines our desires with His because His touch extends all things for His glory. All and still, if I find myself in a career or profession that I once thought I disliked or something I thought was too boring to even consider, I know for a fact that God will make it work for me. I know that for whichever career He chooses for me,it will do and be all that He wants it to do and be. With His blessings come happiness, peace, and delight so with understanding, I am content with throwing my old career aspirations out of the window to make room for what He has already ordained. When someone asks me what I plan to do with my life I respond, “I am not sure yet.” Of course being in my junior year as an undergraduate student people usually expect some type of career option. I mean I have aspirations to do analytical work and I wouldn’t even mind being an Organizational and Industrial Psychologist or even being involved in executive management. God is never late and He is never early–He is always on time. When I need to know my career goal, I will. I used to live by the quote, “Do what you love and the money will follow,” but now I live by, “Submit to the plans of the Lord our God because EVERYTHING else will follow.

One In Christ

Last semester someone asked me,   “What is your denomination?” I responded  “I don’t have one.” Then someone else chimed in “Oh, I’m non-denominational too.” Although I understood what the person was saying about being non-denominational, I was referring to something different. I say this because even being non-denominational denotes having a denomination. In the past I never put much thought into claiming a denomination because I was never given a breakdown about what a denomination was. I remember my grandmother mentioning being Baptist so I thought, I must be Baptist too. Then my family began attending a Pentecostal church so I then thought, well maybe I identify with being both Baptist and Pentecostal. THEN I began to question, “Which denomination did Christ associate with?” I searched and searched and searched and I still have yet to find one.

As disciples of Christ we must be sure that we are exalting the qualities Christ has equipped us with. We ought to be the light of the world and the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13-16). How can we effectively exercise our roles if we are too focused on who is Pentecostal and who isn’t? As we talk with others we are always categorizing ideas whether it be things we can identify with or things that are distant  from our experiences. When a person asks another person their denomination it is to compare and contrast. Basically, do you believe what I believe or do you believe something different? If they didn’t care they wouldn’t ask. Either there is a common interest because the individuals share the same denomination or the individuals are a little (or a lot) different because they don’t. I was surprised to see thousands of denominations and sub-denominations. I thought being Christian was enough.

The foundation for our universal interest should be the desire to be after God’s own heart and to do all things that are pleasing to Him. When I think of denominations I automatically think of division. Once we ask someone a question and they give us an answer, we sort their answer to make sense of it and to accumulate it to our memory. I am sure everyone has their own personal reasons for choosing to associate with specific denominations but I challenge everyone to think about what makes a Methodist different from a Lutheran and both of them different from a Presbyterian? There is only one God. How can there be thousands of segregated denominations serving the one true God but each with their own set of beliefs? What does it mean to be a different type of Christian? Or for two individuals to be Christian but to believe different things? God is the same God today as He was yesterday and the same God to me as He is to you. He won’t tell me to believe one truth and tell you to believe another. He is a consistent God, never changing ( Malachi 3:6). There is a space of confusion somewhere and I know for sure that our Father is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33) . I suggest that to prevent ourselves from falling into the pit of confusion that we each be aware of what is causing the misunderstanding. God’s Word doesn’t contradict itself so the contradictions and the disagreements are something stemming from a different spirit. Test the spirit by the Spirit.

Clearly, the opposite of division is unity. Let it be our goal to unify in the name of Christ Jesus to be about our Father’s business. As we prepare for Christ’s second coming we need to become one body. Although you may be part of the arm and I may be part of the leg, I need you as much as you need me. Of course with Christ as the head, the Master. We are the Church. If we have arms, a torso, and feet–how can we walk without our legs? Or how can we have every other piece but no patella (knee cap)? There is no such thing as missing a big piece or a small piece–God doesn’t halfway do things so we must be whole. If we have our eyes set on the Lord and His plans then everything will fall into place. Don’t allow the confusion and disjoining of the enemy to weaken your testimony. Get out of titles and get into Christ.

1 Corinthians 12:12-27 (NIV): ” ¹² Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. ¹³ For we were all baptized by  one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. ¹⁴ Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.”

¹⁵ Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. ¹⁶ And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? ¹⁸ But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. ¹⁹ If they were all one part, where would the body be? ²⁰ As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

²¹ The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” ²² On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³ and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, ²⁴ while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, ²⁵ so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. ²⁶ If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

²⁷ Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 

Romans 12:5 (NIV): “So in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.”

1 Corinthians 10:17 (NIV): “Because there is one loaf, we, who are many, are one body, for we all share the one loaf.”

Ephesians 3:6 (NIV): “This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus.”

Ephesians 4:12 (NIV): “¹² To equip His people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³ until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.”

Ephesians 4:16 (NIV): “From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”

Ephesians 4:25 (NIV): ” ²⁵ Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”

Ephesians 4:4 (NIV): “⁴ There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; ⁵one Lord, one faith, one baptism; ⁶ one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”

Ephesians 5:23 (NIV): “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior.”

Ephesians 5:30 (NIV): “For we are members of His body.”

Colossians 1:18 (NIV): “And He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything He might have the supremacy.”

Colossians 1:24 (NIV): ” Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of His body, which is the Church.”

Colossians 2:19 (NIV): “They have lost connection with the head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow.”

Colossians 3:15 (NIV): “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”

Romans 12:3-5 (NIV): “³ For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. ⁴ For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.”

Lets not spend so much time trying to identify and distinguish differences and similarities between denominations when we ought to be studying and digesting the Word of God. As long as Christ is in one’s heart, He can do His business. I encourage each of you to focus more on the mission of God rather than the mission of whatever denomination you associate with. With every denomination I have encountered there has been some type of discrepancy with the Word. Not only are the denominations causing division but they are also contradicting each other. Don’t get wrapped up in titles because it really only boils down to the fact that the Bible does not mention the Church being associated with any type of denomination. While denominations are separating Christians by their interpretation of Scripture, creeds, and statements of belief, God is telling us to unite as the body of Christ. Every denomination will tell you that they are the “true church” but they all cannot be right, so then who is wrong? Don’t waste time trying to figure it out. We can only get to the Father through the Son (John 14:6 ), not by being a Jehovah’s Witness or COGIC or Protestant etc. How can you not fellowship with your brother or sister in Christ because they don’t go to a holiness church like you do? Seek the Truth that comes from God and not from the denominations created by man. One God. One Church. One Baptism. One Faith. One Spirit.

So in conclusion, my “denomination” is everything aligned with the Word. I don’t need a fancy name or a huge building with the letters nailed across it. I am a Christian who believes that Jesus is my Lord and Savior, who died on the cross, resurrected, and is coming again (1 John 4:14, John 3:16, Matthew 18:7, Matthew 16:27). In simple terms, I reject anything that is not instructed and supported by God and His Word. We are the Church and the Holy Spirit dwells within us, what other definitions do we need?

Never Put Trust In Man

I was talking with a friend a week or two ago and they said, “I don’t trust people.” I thought for a moment and then I responded, “Good…and while you’re at it don’t trust yourself neither.”  I don’t think they quite understood what I was saying but the conversation sparked interest in my mind. People often talk about trust but rarely do we talk about seeking trust in the living God. I think at some point we all have thought or said, “I don’t trust them.” And I agree that we shouldn’t. I cannot think of any reason why we should put our trust in man. With our fallen nature, sometimes the things we do and say can be unpredictable. Only God is worthy to obtain and secure our trust.

Do not rely on man

Hosea 10:13-14 (NIV): “¹³ But you have planted wickedness, you have reaped evil, you have eaten the fruit of deception. 
Because you have depended on your own strength and on your many warriors, ¹⁴ the roar of battle will rise against your people, 
 so that all your fortresses will be devastated—as Shalman devastated Beth Arbel on the day of battle, when mothers were dashed to the ground with their children.”

Micah 7:5 (NIV): ” Do not trust in a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with her who lies in your embrace be careful of your words.”

Isaiah 30:1-3 (NIV): ¹ “Woe to the obstinate children,” declares the LORD, “to those who carry out plans that are not mine, forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit, heaping sin upon sin; ² who go down to Egypt without consulting me; who look for help to Pharaoh’s protection, to Egypt’s shade for refuge. ³ But Pharaoh’s protection will be to your shame, Egypt’s shade will bring you disgrace.”

Jeremiah 17:5-6 (NIV): ” ⁵ This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man,  who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the LORD. ⁶ That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;  they will not see prosperity when it comes. They will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.

Ezekiel 33:13 (NIV): “If I tell a righteous person that they will surely live, but then they trust in their righteousness and do evil, none of the righteous things that person has done will be remembered; they will die for the evil they have done.”

Or the world

 1 Timothy 6:17 (NIV): ” ¹⁷ Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. ¹⁸ Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. ¹⁹ In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.”

Isaiah 31:1 (NIV): ” Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, who trust in the multitude of their chariots and in the great strength of their horsemen, but do not look to the Holy One of Isreal, or seek help from the LORD.”

Jeremiah 48:7 (NIV): ” Since you trust in your deeds and riches, you too will be taken captive, and Chemosh will go into exile, together with his priests and officials.”

But instead rely on God

Psalm 18:30 (NIV): “As for God, His way is perfect, the Word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him.”

Proverbs 3:5-7 (NIV): “⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;⁶ in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.”

Isaiah 2:22 (NIV): ” Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?”

Psalm 118:8 (NIV): ” It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans.”

Jeremiah 17:7 (NIV): ” ⁷ “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him. ⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

Psalm 16:1 (KJV): “Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.”

Psalm 33:20-21 (NIV): “²⁰ We wait in hope for the LORD; He is our help and our shield. ²¹ In Him our hearts rejoice,  for we trust in His holy name.

Proverbs 28:26 (NIV): “He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.”

Psalm 25:20-21 (KJV): ” ²⁰O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee.²¹ Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.”

Psalm 18:30 (KJV): “As for God, His way is perfect: the Word of the LORD is tried: He is a buckler to all those that trust in Him.”

I will share a personal story. Maybe about three years ago I was having a difficult time with something. I was indecisive about what my next move should be and I was unsure if I even HAD an answer. I decided to go to a friend that I had been close with since elementary school. Sounds like the perfect person right? …..Wrong. I talked with her about my dilemma, mostly because I was tired of keeping it a secret and I wanted to get it off of my chest and I was hoping to possibly receive a word of wisdom. I wasn’t saved at the time so talking to God about the situation was the last thing on my mind. This friend and I talked for hours on end about the issue. As the conversation was ending she reassured me that what we discussed would never be mentioned to anyone else. We all know that when a person says they won’t tell-they are already plotting to tell. I learned that the hard way. Initially when she made the statement about trusting her, I began to have thoughts about her broadcasting our conversation but then I thought,  “Why would she do that? After all of these years of us being friends she has to have some loyalty to me.” It is a blessing to no longer be as gullible and overtrustful as I was then. A couple of months later my closest friend from home called me informing me that she ran into a guy we all went to middle school with and that he drilled her with a bunch of questions regarding what was supposed to be my best kept secret. My heart sank. After I gathered myself I realized that a new can of worms was open because I didn’t tell my closest friend yet. If this random guy was asking my closest friend about me and I haven’t seen him since the 8th grade I can only imagine who else knew. I mean he didn’t have any loyalty to me (well apparently neither of them did) so it was almost expected for him to do his share of telling others. My next thought was that if she told this guy who was so distant from us (12 hours driving), it was also safe to assume that our old clique knew. I couldn’t even be upset her because I put my trust in her, my mistake. Should I have been surprised? NO! But was I? Sadly. Like I mentioned before, the actions of humans are unpredictable. Or maybe our actions are predictable–predictable in the sense that we can predict that nothing good naturally comes from us. It is in our natural nature. As mentioned in Psalm 58:3 (NIV): “Even from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward, spreading lies.” 

We must keep in mind the individuals we are dealing with, including ourselves. I will make it very clear, I DO NOT TRUST MYSELF APART FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT. Without the Holy Spirit is it impossible for man to rise above what he is by nature. Romans 3:10-18 (NIV): ¹⁰ As it is written:“There is no one righteous, not even one; ¹¹ there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. ¹² All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” ¹³ “Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit.” “The poison of vipers is on their lips.” ¹⁴ “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.” ¹⁵ “Their feet are swift to shed blood; ¹⁶ ruin and misery mark their ways, ¹⁷ and the way of peace they do not know.” ¹⁸ “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”This is why each of us must remain fervent in prayer with hope that all we say and do is pleasing to God. As long as I seek advice from man, I will be in a troubled situation each and every time. Who should I have trusted? God. I know sometimes it seems easier to pick up the phone and call a friend but the next time you start to feel that way take time to gather yourself and examine whether or not you are going to the source of all supply, our Father. He is the only one who can give us accurate advice and answer the questions that seem too advanced for our own minds. The story I shared is probably similar to what a lot of us experience at some point or another as we grow and mature. It is situations like this which leaves us without help or hope of recovery. I surely thought there was nothing I could do to make things better. Instead of expecting my friend not to mention what I shared with her I should have expected that she would. What would have stopped her? If one is not saved they are not being led by the Holy Spirit and if one is not loyal to the Lord it is unthinkable for them to be loyal to others. I try to consult with the Lord about everything. I still catch myself wanting to call that one friend but in all actuality, if he/she hasn’t received a divine word from God, there isn’t anything they could tell me that I couldn’t figure out on my own. Check with God first. He may even lead you to talk with someone who He approves of. I sometimes whisper to Him about how I feel and almost instantly what was gray suddenly becomes as clear as identifying black and white. Yep, He’s my best friend.

I am sure we all can I think of numerous occasions when we have been disappointed and let down. It doesn’t matter the individual-mother, father, sister, brother, or even someone as distant as a stranger. It is unfortunate when we find ourselves in a position where we feel cheated or betrayed. However, I have found comfort in the fact that my disappoint was purely a result of my own doing. If only I had put my trust in the Lord. Even the things we ask help or favor for, we must trust God to get them done. Not that they will be done when, where, and how we expect them to be done but that they will be done nonetheless. A husband or wife shouldn’t rely on their spouse to maintain their financial stability and to make sure all of their bills are paid. God is the one who gives the gift of wealth. Why should we put all of our trust in the best physicians? Jesus is the one who heals all sicknesses and diseases (Psalm 103:2).  Why do we trust teachers to make sure children receive the best education when the Holy Spirit is our Teacher? I am not declaring that investing in good health care and education aren’t important but I am definitely announcing that we cannot stop there. We must recognize God as being supreme. Expectations concerning man is one of the most faulty forms of thinking that I have experienced thus far. Why are we usually disappointed and sad? Because we had expectations that we expected man to fulfill. The Lord will never let us down so the gap had to be on our part. We sometimes fail to realize that humans are all imperfect and thus cannot be held to a position only ordained by and for God. Who can fulfill all of our needs? Who can make a way out of no way? Who can we count on when our paths appear rugged and the situations we find ourselves in are even more strenuous? Who can we trust to share all of our private information with and rest assured that they won’t gossip behind our backs? Who can we trust to share love that surpasses all understanding? No one other than our Father who earnestly watches over His sheep (Psalm 23).

Thanks For the Help God

Psalm 121:1-8 (NIV)

¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains— 
   where does my help come from? 
² My help comes from the LORD, 
   the Maker of heaven and earth.

 ³ He will not let your foot slip— 
   He who watches over you will not slumber; 
⁴ indeed, He who watches over Israel 
   will neither slumber nor sleep.

 ⁵ The LORD watches over you— 
   the LORD is your shade at your right hand; 
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day, 
   nor the moon by night.

 ⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm— 
   He will watch over your life; 
⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going 
   both now and forevermore.

It is so amazing to know that God is constantly giving us help for our daily spiritual walk in Him. Throughout this article I will share verses that shine on the assistance God has given us through Christ, The Holy Spirit, and even through friends and family. Fortunately, God doesn’t throw us into a lion’s den without faithfully saving us. While pushing through trials and tribulations we sometimes wish we had help-from somebody-somewhere-something.We want someone to give us insight,someone to confide in, someone to bounce ideas off of,someone to help us understand. And sometimes we simply want someone to help us celebrate after our breakthroughs and accomplishments.  The Lord said that He would never leave nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5) implying that the Lord is always with us during our battles and He is always with us as we triumph and rejoice. However, God’s presence can manifest in different ways, some ways that we sometimes don’t even notice.

Jesus

One of Jesus’ roles is to be our Advocate. According to Webster’s dictionary an advocate is: One who pleads the cause of another. Specifically: One who pleads the cause of another before a tribunal or judicial court; a counselor. Jesus pleads for us before the Father. How awesome is that? Jesus is the best lawyer we could ever have or ask for and He is willing to work overtime without extra pay. While Satan,the accuser, (Revelation 12:10) does his job to go before God and accuse us of sin, Jesus is on our side pleading for our freedom. I ask Jesus to intercede and pray for me because I am confident that He is the best one for the job. God exercises His authority with His right hand and Jesus sits on the right hand side of our Father (Ephesians 1:20), signifying that if we wish to reach God and to ask for His favor we must go through the Son (John 14:6).

1 John 2:1-2 (NIV): “¹ My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. ² He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.”

1 Timothy 2:5 (NIV): “For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus.”

Hebrews 8:6;9:15;12:24 (NIV): “^8:6 But in fact the ministry Jesus has received is as superior to theirs as the covenant of which He is mediator is superior to the old one, since the new covenant is established on better promises..”,”

^9:15 “For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.”,

^{12:24 “}to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.”

The Holy Spirit

• Teaches

Luke 12:12 (NIV): “For the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.”

• Intercedes

Romans 8:26 (NIV): ” In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.”

John 14:16-17, 26 (NIV): “¹⁶ And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— ¹⁷ the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you know Him, for He lives with you and will be in you.”

²⁶ “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”

• Leads

Matthew 4:1 (NIV): “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.”

• Gives Life

 Genesis 2:7 (NIV): ” The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

John 6:30-36 (NIV): “³⁰ So they asked him, “What sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do? ³¹ Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written: ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.” ³² Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. ³³ For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”³⁴ “Sir,” they said, “always give us this bread.”³⁵ Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. ³⁶ But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe.”

• Fills Us

Acts 2:4 (NIV): “All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.”

Friends

Up to this date, God has placed two important friends in my life-two women who are eagerly seeking the Lord. I find myself able to confide in them regarding issues/concerns, questions, and to share Scripture with. One friend is most like a grandmother-in-Christ and the other is most like a mother-in-Christ. I have other friends of course but God is using these two women in a vital way for me during my current stage of spiritual growth. This may not make much sense to those who do not know me on a personal level. For those who don’t-my relationship with my father has always been better than my relationship with my mother. I say better not so that it may have a negative connotation but to indicate that the foundation of my father-daughter relationship was a better contribution to my personal growth and development. However, I pray that my relationship with my mother continues to grow. Parents just like the rest of the human population are imperfect. Romans 3:23 (NIV) ” For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” I write this to express that there isn’t one perfect relationship on this earth because there isn’t one perfect person in it either. Sometimes it appears as if things will never change and that the best of things are over BUT …I know that nothing is over until God says it is over. So for those who do not know me on a personal level, that is some background information necessary to understand some of the relationships God is building in my life. I have concluded that these essential friends are not as coincidental as I once thought.

My grandmother-in-Christ knew me for practically my whole life. This had its pros and cons.  I didn’t have to spend a bunch of time telling her about my life, family, and other general information because she already knew majority of it. But on the other side of things, I was nervous about sharing my testimony with her because I feared that she would look at me differently. I went to visit her once and she showed me pictures of when we (my biological grandmother, myself, my grandmother-in-Christ, and her two grand-daughters) went on vacation when I was about 6. How could I possibly tell her that the sweet and innocent child in those pictures wasn’t the person she was now talking with? I was sure that she would have been too disappointed for words. I was wrong, wrong once again. Once she started to share with me the life she used to live before she was saved-the thought of her being disappointed never crossed my mind again. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

My mother-in-Christ also plays a significant role in my life. It is actually a family effort because her whole family is truly a blessing from God. Her husband is like a father and their children are like my siblings. But my closeness with her is unique in helping me grow from a bruised place I was once from my relationship with my own mother. The time we spend together truly means a lot to me because God is allowing things to move at a pace that He desires. We talk about everything-some things easier than others but I appreciate each and every conversation. A week or two ago I was having a really hard time and I drove to their house to talk with her for about an hour or two and left. I simply needed to be reminded of the help and blessings God has given me. 2 hours isn’t a long time but from the moment we began talking I began to feel God’s peace and reassurance that everything will be okay. Originally I wasn’t expecting a super close relationship with her, which is probably why I cherish the friendship so much more because it was God’s doing-it was nothing I could have ever pieced together. My goal is never to replace my mother because God chose how He wanted things to be before I was even in my mother’s womb. However, that does not mean that God doesn’t have plans to fill voids creating by man. In addition to her Christian walk, I truly admire her as a person-as a whole. She is one of the smartest people I have ever met and yet happens to be one of the most humble. I won’t even start with how courageous and optimistic she can be. When I find myself worrying or afraid of something, she is already finding ways to change things around causing the situation to be worried and afraid of the God we serve. When she breaks down Scripture or just life scenarios I think to myself: That is the type of wisdom I want. I know wisdom from God sometimes doesn’t come overnight but interacting with someone who God has already taken to that special place can definitely be inspirational to say the least. I don’t know if she knows it or not but I in some ways actually look up to her. Not to a point where it becomes idolatry but enough to keep my ambition alive and creative juices flowing. God is giving me help in a wide range of areas. During the beginning stages of sharing my testimony with her and her husband, I was devastated at just the thought of having to share with them the things of my past. Now, I think it is safe to say that we know so much about each other’s lives/past that we each can tell some stories as if we were there when they happened. 1 Corinthians 1:10 (NIV): “I appeal to you, brothers ,in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so there may be no division among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.” Sharing our testimonies with each other wasn’t to bring division and judgment but to bring us closer together according to God’s divine plan. Only God can judge us anyhow.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 (NIV): “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

Proverbs 17:17 (NIV): “A friend loves at all times,  and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

Proverbs 27:17 (NIV): “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Some moments in my life I have felt just plain hopeless! I still have days where I find myself  in distress and weak, constantly having to remind myself of the help God has given me from the people He has placed in my life. Forget embarrassment from past sin, I want God’s vessels to pray for strongholds to be torn down and for chains of bondage to be broken (Psalm 89:40). I am a firm believer that the more you know, the better you can pray. God tells us to confess our sins to each other because the prayers of a righteous man is powerful and effective (James 5:16). God doesn’t have limitations and He does things according to how He knows they will work best. Some of God’s people experience help the same way I am and some a little differently but it is still operating by the same Spirit. We must have faith in the change that God has promised us. God promises us that the latter will be better than the past as long as we remain in Him (Haggai 2:9). Open your eyes to the help that God has given you-you wouldn’t want to seem ungrateful.

God Please Forgive Me

So I am currently going through a personal battle. I mean we always go through battles but there is one specific battle that the Lord is leading me to address. Some days are better than others but after experiencing firsthand that God forgives, I was inspired to write this article.

I mentioned before that some days are better than others– as I believe it is with all of us. On my not-so-good days I usually “mess up” or give into the specific sin that I am battling with. Sometimes my thoughts are being stirred by the enemy and sometimes my thoughts are simply my flesh leading me to transgress. The enemy has been watching us from the moment we were born and he knows our weaknesses. So it isn’t a surprise that immediately after I finish praying(or even during prayer)that my mind can sometimes become bombarded with fleshly desires. Memories of partying,drinking,and living life on the edge etc begin to be all I can think about. While on a fast my aunt once said to me, “Be prepared for the devil to come back with a vengeance,”  and I know exactly what she was referring to.

An escape? God always gives an escape. As stated in 1 Corinthians 10:13(NIV) : ” No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful;He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”  An escape can be anything from being presented with alternative plans to the Holy Spirit bringing Scripture back to remembrance.I look at it to be anything that can allow us to gather ourselves and really consider what it is that we are contemplating.At first I always wanted to point the finger-trying to find some reason to support why sinning was inevitable. Then I began to grow up. There was always an escape but I didn’t have any intentions to look for it.  I began to go in circles like the Israelites did in the wilderness for 40 years. It was time to start taking advantage of the escapes given to me.

Earlier this week I was battling some serious temptation so I decided to keep myself occupied by writing an article,watching tv,and keeping positive thoughts flowing. Sometimes these techniques work but sometimes they don’t and this specific time-they weren’t.It is always a good idea to speak the Word to bring peace (1 John 4:4, Philippians 4:13). I got so close to giving into the temptation BUT gospel started playing on my computer. I must admit,the music startled me because iTunes wasn’t even open. So I shut iTunes down to help me focus..(or to help ease the conviction of my thoughts)…then 2 minutes later the music started playing again,but with a different song. At that moment I was speechless. I shut iTunes down again and about 7 minutes later,ANOTHER gospel song started playing. So I sat there and thought,how foolish can I be? God is obviously trying to give me a boost because He knew I was struggling. I can never say God doesn’t provide an escape.

Throughout my walk with Christ I have experienced some of the worst feelings of guilt. There is a big difference with holding on to guilt and feeling convicted. I have actually been convicted while thinking about committing a sin,during, and afterward. What I did not know was that once we ask for genuine forgiveness from God, He throws our sins into the sea of forgetfulness.Micah 7:19(ESV): “He will again have compassion on us;He will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.” Condemnation does not come from God, conviction does. Romans 8:1(NIV): “Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”  Guilt that followed me for hours and sometimes days made me feel horrible but it did not make me feel horrible enough to stop giving into the sin. It was ineffective and solely had intentions to make me feel miserable. I often feared that God would be so angry with me that He wouldn’t want anything else to do with me. Some nights I was so sure that God would strike me down and kill me because I had been so disobedient. My fear is usually followed by sadness because God is always so good to me time and time again and I somehow always find a way to disappoint Him.

The conviction that I feel after I “mess up” is more of a, “Yes, that was a mistake but get up and dust yourself off -no use in sulking in it.” Now that was effective. Of course God isn’t happy with sin and of course the fact that God is long-suffering shouldn’t give us an opportunity to try and take advantage of His patience….although it wouldn’t work anyway. But I believe God’s method was most effective (other than the fact that God is always correct and effective) because I was expecting a lash on the back and instead God showered me with love and compassion. God is understanding. He understands us more than anyone in our lives. This caught me so off guard that I didn’t know how to react-so I cried–joyful tears of course. I cried because the love of Christ overshadowed my soul’s love for sin. I learned early that our souls must be in subjection to the Holy Spirit because the flesh will get us sent directly to hell. The embracement of God encouraged me to really fight the good fight of faith. God knows how to deal with each of us according to our specific temperament and our different situations. There have been struggles that God had to deal with me in a very stern way while some circumstances required a little more patience.

Verses on forgiveness

• 1 John 2:1 (NIV): “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.”
• 1 John 1:9 (NIV):“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
• Acts 3:19 (NIV):“Repent,then,and turn to God,so that your sins may be wiped out,that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”
• Isaiah 43:25-26:(NIV):“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. ²⁶ Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence.”
• Isaiah 1:18 (NIV):“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson,  they shall be like wool.”
• Ephesians 1:7 (NIV):“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”
• Hebrews 10:17 (NIV): “Then he adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.”

• Colossians 1:13-14 (NIV):“¹³ For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

A personal favorite~Psalm 103:12 (NIV):“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

Now that we have established that God forgives…..do we?

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant Matthew(NIV): 18:21-22:

 ²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

²² Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times.

   ²³ “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. ²⁵ Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

   ²⁶ “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ ²⁷ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

   ²⁸ “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

   ²⁹ “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

   ³⁰ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. ³¹ When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

   ³² “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. ³³ Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ ³⁴ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

   ³⁵ “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

For us to be forgiven for our sins it is first important that we forgive others.I am sure we all have our share of bitterness and resentment in our hearts from one extent to another. Besides the obvious reasons to forgive others, it is logical to treat others the way we wish to be treated.

• Ephesians 4:32 (NIV): “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.“
• Mark 11:25(NIV): “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone,forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.“

There isn’t any way on earth that a person can expect God to forgive them while they consciously fail to forgive others. Yes, I do believe that we can hold on to feelings of resentment towards others and not even realize it. However, it is an active duty to ask God to reveal and then remove those feelings.  I am a witness that He’ll do it.

Where’s My Shell?

I once thought to myself: Where is my shell? I am beginning to feel naked without it.

I then responded to that same thought: Good, that’s the point.

Until recently, I have had an imaginary shell. It wasn’t a big shell and it wasn’t a small one but it had numerous layers. I thought this shell had many benefits but in all actuality it only kept myself and others from getting to know my true self. This might sound crazy but it is true. I never thought I would reach a point where I would honestly say that I do not know my true self, my true personality. Growing up I was very outgoing, talkative, and enthusiastic about EVERYTHING. I always hear stories from family and friends about how I would always take up for others and how I wanted to be involved in anything that allowed me to be on a stage.When I entered a room, everyone knew it but as I got older things began to gradually change.

To my surprise, just a couple of months ago things REALLY began to shift. The layers began to fall off. I don’t believe it is a coincidence that things began to change right around the time I began to truly offer my body to Christ as a living sacrifice. As I am being stripped down from my old nature I am also being built up as a spiritual temple for the Holy Spirit: 1 Peter 2:5. I found myself being shy around new people, easily embarrassed, and passive aggressive. At first I didn’t know how to react in certain situations because I was exhibiting the characterises of people I once made fun of. I used to say that I never understood how people could be shy and that NOTHING could embarrass me. But let me tell you, my favorite places are somewhere that I can be with a small group of family and friends or on the floor where I can just sit and especially in the back of a classroom—basically out-of-the-way.I went from being flirtatious to stuttering when a guy asked me my name. The boldness I used to have was used to maintain a spirit of control when I should have really been asking for Holy Ghost boldness so that I could break ties with old “friends.” I went from being a night person to preferring to be up at 9 a.m. and sleep by 12 a.m. I don’t like being out at 3-5 in the morning anymore because those are what I call  “trouble hours.” I no longer like to be the center of attention and I am definitely a work in progress when it comes to addressing large crowds.  I began to panic because I saw myself becoming a new person and I didn’t sign up for that…or did I?

When I asked the Lord to enter my life and to mold me into the person He wanted me to be, I at that moment and time signed up to become a new person. This new person was going to be a new creature in Christ. The next time I read 2 Corinthains 5:17 (NIV) “Therefore,if anyone is in Christ,he is a new creation; the old has gone,the new has come!” the words came alive to me. The exact same change mentioned in this verse was happening to me before my very eyes. When I signed the papers and gave them to God, He began working on me before the ink had even dried. Christ said that His yoke is easy and light and I was entangled in the miry muck of the world: Matthew 11:30. I was helpless and the Lord came to my rescue to plant my feet on dry ground. People continuously ask me where has the person who entered a room and wanted everyone to know had gone? I can only respond that the person left before I had even noticed.

I found the following verses comforting during the beginning stages of my transformation.

Psalm 25:4-7 (NIV)

 ⁴ Show me your ways, LORD, 

    teach me your paths. 

⁵ Guide me in your truth and teach me, 
   for you are God my Savior, 
   and my hope is in you all day long. 
⁶ Remember, LORD, your great mercy and love, 
   for they are from of old. 
⁷ Do not remember the sins of my youth 
   and my rebellious ways; 
according to your love remember me, 
   for you, LORD, are good.

As I become more sensitive to His Spirit I am also becoming more sensitive to the world around me. The people I once shook my head at in disappointment, I now have compassion for. The struggle of crucifying my flesh is teaching me that it truly is a fight. If Christ is compassionate then why aren’t we? If Christ is long-suffering and gracious then who are we to be stiff and inflexible? I also find myself concerned about the true well-being of others. The removal of my shell has allowed me to hear the Lord more clearly than ever before. It took many years for new layers to form around my imaginary shell but it took one Word from the Lord to demolish every single last one. I found that at the core there was an issue-an issue with love. I wasn’t sure what love was, how it felt, how to receive it and more importantly, how to give it. I often viewed love to be fuzzy with hugs and kisses intertwined with sweet words. Now this may be how one expresses love but the love the Lord has shared with me runs so much deeper. After years of physical and emotional abuse I began to even question if love was real. I often thought that if love was real then why am I the only person who has yet to identify it. My perception of love was all wrong. True love comes from God because God IS love and yes imaginary shells definitely create blockage when it comes to us being able to receive the love God has for us. I now realize that I have more love than I will ever be able to consume. For one, God continued to wake me up each morning when I was still His enemy.  James 4:4 and Romans 5:10 elaborate on this.I don’t take the phrase being His enemy lightly because it says a lot. While we are serving the devil we are certainly God’s enemy but He still sent His only begotten Son so that we may live through Him.-1 John 4:9 (NIV). How many of us would do that for our enemies?

• James 4:4 (NIV) “You adulterous people,don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.”
• Romans 5:10 (NIV) “For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through His life!“

Aside from personality and emotions, I imagined that this imaginary shell kept my sins hidden. So it wasn’t a surprise when this layer was the FIRST to go. God doesn’t try to embarrass us but He will bring exposure to “closet sins” so that we can come to Him and repent. The removal of this imaginary shell made me face my sins-for what they REALLY are, sins. There was no sugar-coating involved nor was there an imaginary shell to sweep them under. The truth had been exposed. The sins were so exposed that even with a carnal mind I knew creating an excuse wasn’t an option. It was now time to renew and cleanse my mind as stated in Romans 12:2 (NIV): “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–His good,pleasing and perfect will.“

I thank God for His help because knowing our fallen nature I would have tried to hide under that shell forever.I would have had a more difficult time drawing nigh to God and finding out His will for my life. We must keep in mind that old baggage has to drop off as we travel from glory to glory in the Lord. Be encouraged. This process may not be exactly the same for each person but if Christ has truly entered your life-expect change.

• James 4:8 (NIV): “Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.“

We cannot serve two masters. Let go of your imaginary shell, the Lord wants to make you new-without spot or blemish.

Be Slow To Speak

I have several songs I sometimes listen to while meditating on the Lord. One specific song has caught my attention for the past month or so. The song is titled “Word of God Speak” by MercyMe. The youtube video posted below includes the song and the lyrics.The fact that I began listening to the song to start my mornings showed me that I was in agreement with the message of the song.I believe this song caught my attention for many reasons but I will discuss two of the main ones. The first verse begins with: I am finding myself at a loss for words and the funny thing is it’s okay. The last thing I need is to be heard. These are the words that remained in my head long after I listened to the song. I then realized God is in the process of humbling me. I wouldn’t say that in the past I wanted to outtalk everyone or that I always wanted to be right but I certainly was going to get my point across.I must admit, it was difficult for me to listen to someone talk(especially if the conversation wasn’t in my favor)and to not say anything in retaliation.  Not to be rude,not to be disrespectful, but simply because that put my pride in an uncomfortable position.I don’t believe it is unruly to share our opinions but an issue definitely arises when sharing our opinions becomes a matter of feeding our ego. Sometimes I couldn’t even recall what another person said because I was so fixated on what I had to say. This had to change. We all know pride comes before a fall.

Not only does the first verse say that I am at a loss for words BUT it also mentions being okay with it.  Months ago I wouldn’t have been able to see the connection between how I talked WITH God and how I talked TO man because I had the mentality that I could express myself anyway I wanted to with man but I would not even think to overtalk God.I put an emphasis on with and to because I had the idea of actually conversing with God. He talks,then I talk but with man-it was simply a lecture and I was the lecturer.I was lying to myself. 1 John 4:20 states: “If anyone says, ” I love God,” yet hates his brother,he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother,whom he has seen,cannot love God,whom he has not seen.” How could I possibly be quick to speak and slow to listen with man and not be the exact same way with God? I now know this is a false statement because our relationships with man essentially reflects our relationship with God. My old mentality of my commentary being the most important part of a conversation completely disregarded the beautiful and divine Word the Lord may have had for me.

Secondly, I am reaching a point where I am working on putting my trust in the Lord. I mean the type of trust we give to God without intentions of taking it back. Growing up I knew I had to look out for myself. My parents always made sure things were going well but I had to make sure things were going perfectly. Big misconception. The control I thought I had was just my imagination playing tricks on me.

The chorus of the song goes:

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You’re in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness 
Word of God speak.

When I first listened to the words in the chorus, I concluded that couldn’t have expressed what was on my heart any better. I was willing to give up the authority I thought I had into the hands of God. Again,humility but this time accompanied with trust. I was at the beginning of a path focused on trusting and relying on the Lord to have the best plan,the best advice, and the best constructive criticism. I was officially content with resting in the Lord’s holy place listening to what He had to say. Even still, I would need for Him to wash my eyes to allow me to truly grasp what it was He had for me to receive. This reminds me of a prayer I recite daily inspired by Deuteronomy 30:6 (NIV): “The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live.” I ask the Lord to circumcise my eyes,ears,and heart so that I may be able to see,hear,love,and feel according to His will.In essence, there isn’t anything we could say that could even compare to what God has to say. We have to be conscious of the fact that we should no longer be desiring to operate with a carnal mind. Everything from bills to relationships to what we should wear to an interview-EVERYTHING. Our desire should be to cast all cares,worries,and burdens upon the Lord because frankly who else can carry the weight of the world? I can only think of someone who has Heaven as His throne and earth as His footstool.

Claim Adoption Into the Royal Family

I am currently reading Secret Life of a Prayer Warrior by Derek Prince. I have read a couple of books written by Prince but I must say this is my favorite one thus far. One specific chapter pertains to the blood of Jesus and how we must use it for our testimony. God has been telling me time and time again to not identify with the person I used to be. As long as I continue to identify with my old struggles and habits, I will continue to be in bondage to them. Now, I am not dismissing the fact that I still have struggles and strongholds but I have to declare and decree that I have been justified through His blood. It is one thing to identify what we used to be and the things we used to do but it is something completely different to accept becoming a new creature in Christ and leaving unnecessary baggage behind us,where it belongs. There is beauty in God revealing to us the places He has brought us from. Galatians 5:24 states: “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” From the time I first read this verse I have made it my mission to continuously ask God to help me crucify my flesh causing my carnal mind to completely die and be buried somewhere to never be found again. One of our goals should be to have our soul,body,and spirit into subjection to His Spirit. I am at a time in my spiritual growth where I have to distinguish thoughts inspired by the Lord and thoughts inspired by the enemy. As born again Christians, we have been redeemed and forgiven of our sins. If we continue to carry and dwell on past mistakes, we disregard God’s desire to make us righteous and just. We have to let go of the world and the things in it, conquering and crucifying our flesh. Keep in mind that there is power in the blood and God has given us the authority to use it. We have been bought with a price to be ambassadors for Christ. Below are some of the verses that were used in Prince’s book. I wanted to share these verses because I found them to be very helpful and even more comforting. Claim your adoption in the royal family in the name of Jesus Christ.

1.”In him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” –Ephesians 1:7 (NIV)

2.”But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.”-1 John 1:7 (NIV)

3.”Since we have now been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!”-Romans 5:9(NIV)

4.”And so Jesus also suffered outside the city gate to make the people Holy through his own blood.”-Hebrews 13:12 (NIV)

5.”Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” –1 Corinthians 6:19-20(NIV)